“On & Off The Radar” and “Paging Eric Holder”

When some people dismiss others as low information voters, they’re not always being fair. For instance, I heard from a lot of readers in 2012 complaining that Mitt Romney didn’t bring up Obama’s Benghazi cover-up in the debates, but I pointed out that because the mass media had done such a good job of ignoring the story that if Romney had mentioned Benghazi, most of the viewing audience would have assumed he was speaking in tongues.

I mainly knew about it because Fox News had done such a good job of covering the story. But being a successful cable station doesn’t compare to being a major network when it comes to the number of viewers. But as good as Fox is, I still wish it had competition from a cable station that didn’t waste our time with the likes of Juan Williams, Alan Colmes, Geraldo Rivera, Bob Beckel and Mark Hannah. We would get plenty of divergent viewpoints if they concentrated solely on Republicans. Pitting Ted Cruz against John McCain or Rand Paul against Marco Rubio would be a great improvement over watching Juan Williams rolling his eyes in mock horror whenever Bret Baier, Steve Hayes or Charles Krauthammer, disagrees with one of his inane statements.

Although I get a lot of my news from Fox, I wish they had someone whose sole function is to follow up on things that have been lost in the wake of subsequent events. For instance, when Boko Haram kidnapped those 300 Nigerian school girls, I heard that Obama had sent a few hundred soldiers in to assist in the search, and then I heard nothing more about it. Are the soldiers still looking? Is anyone?

According to Gallup’s latest poll, Obama’s approval rating has soared to 47%. The theory is that a lot of people applauded his re-opening diplomatic relations with Cuba. Even if they disagree with me and Marco Rubio about that bit of executive action, how is it that millions of us have apparently decided after six years of ObamaCare and the Benghazi, Operation Fast & Furious, VA and IRS scandals that they no longer mattered?

Mark Twain once joked that he didn’t lie because he didn’t have a very good memory. It seems to me that Barack Obama lies because he doesn’t think we have very good memories, and the same goes for the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Josh Earnest and Jonathan Gruber. When nearly everything we say or do is recorded on video, you would think they would straighten out their acts, but, apparently, unless you watch Fox, you’d have no idea that these people lie, if for no other reason than to stay in practice.

But maybe Obama is wise to take our ignorance for granted. After all, even after drawing and then quickly erasing red lines with Russia and Syria, and allowing Iran to make a monkey out of him at the negotiating table, our Commander-in-chief has proven himself to be, in the words of my friend Steve Maikoski, the Great Capitulator.

In other news, we are told that Justin Bieber is worth $200 million. We have also heard that Oprah Winfrey is worth two billion and Warren Buffet is worth roughly 35 billion. I know it’s just a figure of speech, but I wish we would learn to just say these pinheads have an awful lot of money without suggesting they are worth a plugged nickel.

After dismissing the movie, “Whiplash,” as a waste of time, a friend let me know he planned to see it because he liked “drum music,” and I congratulated him on coming up with a new and unique oxymoron. But after sitting through 16 other DVDs provided by the studios, all seeking my vote in the WGA award competition, I am wondering why movies even pay editors. When the new releases average 150 minutes, it’s hard to imagine that any footage ends up on the cutting room floor. You would have thought editors had gone the way of those guys who used to provide dialogue titles for silent movies.

Speaking of movies, I can’t say I was disappointed with “Unbroken,” the story of Louis Zemperini, who first survived 47 days at sea after his plane was shot down during WWII and then, according to Laura Hillenbrand’s book, suffered daily beatings by a sadistic Japanese POW camp commander for two long years. It didn’t ring true in the book and didn’t in the movie.

It was hard enough to survive in Japanese captivity without having to endure constant torture and no medical attention. I even wrote to Ms. Hillenbrand asking if she had actually managed to confirm what she was told or had simply accepted what Zemperini said as gospel. After all, rumor has it that men, even those in their 90s, have been known to brag to women. So far, I haven’t heard back.

Because it’s been preying on my mind for years, I would like someone to explain why “Peanuts” has enjoyed such lasting success. I never thought it was a funny comic strip. Not funny or clever or thoughtful, and, what’s more, I thought Snoopy was a bore, even when he went up against the Red Baron. What have I been missing?

I once heard that the best definition of an optimist was a professional accordionist with a pager. But I have come to believe that Alan Jay Lerner, the lyricist and librettist best known for “Brigadoon,” “Gigi,” and “My Fair Lady,” should have his picture next to the word in the dictionary. This is a man who married for the first time when he was 21 years old. By the time he died 46 years later, at the age of 67, he had been married seven more times. What’s more, he was married for 43 of those years, meaning he averaged less than six months between getting a divorce and once again tying the knot. If that’s not optimism, I don’t know what it is. Well, maybe insanity.

Because some of my more concerned readers continue to ask how I am doing in the aftermath of the surgery on my hand and arm last January, I am happy to report that the rheumatoid arthritis is no longer plaguing me.

However, I did suffer an attack of the gout recently. My only prior experience with the condition was seeing old Laurel and Hardy or Charley Chase comedies in which men suffering from the gout would be shown with his inflamed foot wrapped in a Turkish towel. But in spite of the towel, someone was sure to step on his aching foot or slam a car door on it.

I thought it was very amusing until I was the guy who felt like he had a pin cushion sewn up in his big right toe. I never assumed I would have anything more in common with King Henry VIII than the fact we had both been married more than a couple of times — though not as often as Alan Jay Lerner — our occasional disagreements with the pope and our roguish little beards. Too bad it couldn’t have stayed that way.

Believe me, the gout is no joke. The joke is that it’s commonly referred to as the rich man’s disease and somehow I got it!


Paging Eric Holder

If the cops are as racist as the idiots in the streets keep claiming, why is it we never see Asians or black immigrants from the Caribbean rioting and complaining about police brutality? With all the people of color residing in America, why is it always and only native-born blacks who take to the streets complaining of mistreatment? Could it possibly have anything to do with the violent crime rate and the lack of parental discipline found in their community that leads to so many unpleasant interactions between the police and young black thugs?

Furthermore, if things are as oppressive as they claim, why do we never see a mass migration to Canada or Mexico? The only blacks we ever see leaving the U.S. are those like convicted cop killer Joanne Chesimard, who leave, seeking asylum in Cuba.

Every other group that has ever faced hardship and persecution has crossed oceans, if necessary, to seek a better and safer life. Mainly they’ve come to America, long a magnet for the world’s outcasts. Only blacks see this country as a loathsome place – a place like czarist Russia, Nazi Germany, Iran, Cuba and China — a snake pit to run from, and yet they never run. I find that very odd when you realize they could easily find refuge just across the border.

Could it be that even they know that their claims are bullshit, and that they simply enjoy getting to live off the labor of others, while still having the gall to gripe about it?

Eric Holder called white people cowards who were scared to have an honest conversation about race in America. Ready when you are, Attorney General Holder.

In America, black racism is apparently one of the few growth industries we still have. I’m not just speaking about Jesse Jackson, Louis Farrakhan and Al Sharpton, who have all grown wealthy by promoting racial divide in America, but the members of the Congressional Black Caucus, who are so bigoted against whites they should wear black sheets to work. And then there’s Oprah Winfrey, who, I’ll remind you, was so deep in Obama’s pocket in 2008 that she wouldn’t even allow his equally left-wing opponent, Hillary Clinton, to appear on her show.

Can you imagine the outrage if a white TV talk show host let it be known that he would have presidential candidates on his show, but would draw the line when it came to Herman Cain, Condoleezza Rice and Ben Carson?

Or as one of my readers, Pat Miano, pointed out: “Why shouldn’t white people racially profile blacks as criminals? After all, they racially profile us as racists. At least we have objective statistics to back us up.”

However you may personally feel about the police, it takes a certain breed of moron to demonstrate in the streets carrying signs condemning the cops, especially when those signs were provided by the Revolutionary Communist Party, USA, under the auspices of Bob Avakian, a proud Maoist who traces his tawdry career back to the radical politics of the Bay area in the 1960s. Some people grow up over the course of half a century, others merely ferment.

As insipid as Communist rhetoric inevitably is, you still have to give the sign maker, revcom.us, its due, because at least its messages are all spelled correctly. On the other hand, when Cleveland Cavalier LeBron James and his teammates decided to show their solidarity with the creeps tying up traffic in the streets, their shirts read: “I Can’t Breath.”

I don’t know who it was that started the fad of black Americans adopting Muslim names, but isn’t it time they wised up? It’s bad enough if you were named Barack Hussein Obama by your parents, but guys like Muhammad Ali and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had perfectly fine names, Cassius Clay and Lew Alcindor, before they went screwy. But these days, they’ve been joined by the likes of Ismaayl Abdullah Muhammud, who shot and killed the two cops in New York, and Zaim Farouq Abdul, who attacked New York’s finest with a hatchet, two American blacks who decided to adopt Islamic names along with typical Islamic behavior.

Are these people so abysmally ignorant that they’re unaware of the essential role that Muslims played – and continue to play – in the African slave trade?

Speaking of ignoramuses, Democrats in Congress are always ready to campaign for a higher minimum wage, claiming that people can’t possibly live on it. Actually, people can. But they’d have a hard time trying to raise a family on $7.10-an-hour. On the other hand, it was never intended to apply to the heads of households. In fact, if it weren’t for all those illegal aliens, nobody would ever receive it, except for high school kids looking to augment their allowances.

What the self-righteous, vote-trolling Democrats, never want to discuss is the destruction ObamaCare has wreaked on middleclass salaries by forcing employers to cut the work week by nearly 30%, reducing the traditional 40 hours to a skimpy 29.

After it was finally determined that it was in fact Kim Jong-un who had hacked Sony’s computers, thus removing Pope Francis, Bugs Bunny and the Tooth Fairy from the original list of suspects, Barack Obama promised a “proportional response” to North Korea.

It once again raises the question of Obama’s testosterone level. At the same time it makes some of us wonder if he even knows what “proportional” means. Clearly, a person who swaps five Islamic terrorists for one Army deserter has a very vague grasp of its definition.

But, then, Obama also freed three convicted Cuban spies and provided the Castros with diplomatic recognition and a flood of hard currency in exchange for absolutely nothing. And let us not forget this is the same schmuck who has dedicated himself to releasing one Gitmo prisoner after another, not even slightly concerned that a third of them return to the battlefield to resume killing American soldiers and hacking the heads off civilians.

After six years, some people think Obama is inept. However, if you agree that he has achieved a good deal of his original intention, which, as he vowed in 2008, included the redistribution of America’s wealth, the destruction of the coal industry, changing the way that the world viewed us and the radical transformation of America — including its economy, its health care and race relations – I’d have to say he’s been pretty damn ept!

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.




“On & Off The Radar” and “Paging Eric Holder”

When some people dismiss others as low information voters, they’re not always being fair. For instance, I heard from a lot of readers in 2012 complaining that Mitt Romney didn’t bring up Obama’s Benghazi cover-up in the debates, but I pointed out that because the mass media had done such a good job of ignoring the story that if Romney had mentioned Benghazi, most of the viewing audience would have assumed he was speaking in tongues.

I mainly knew about it because Fox News had done such a good job of covering the story. But being a successful cable station doesn’t compare to being a major network when it comes to the number of viewers. But as good as Fox is, I still wish it had competition from a cable station that didn’t waste our time with the likes of Juan Williams, Alan Colmes, Geraldo Rivera, Bob Beckel and Mark Hannah. We would get plenty of divergent viewpoints if they concentrated solely on Republicans. Pitting Ted Cruz against John McCain or Rand Paul against Marco Rubio would be a great improvement over watching Juan Williams rolling his eyes in mock horror whenever Bret Baier, Steve Hayes or Charles Krauthammer, disagrees with one of his inane statements.

Although I get a lot of my news from Fox, I wish they had someone whose sole function is to follow up on things that have been lost in the wake of subsequent events. For instance, when Boko Haram kidnapped those 300 Nigerian school girls, I heard that Obama had sent a few hundred soldiers in to assist in the search, and then I heard nothing more about it. Are the soldiers still looking? Is anyone?

According to Gallup’s latest poll, Obama’s approval rating has soared to 47%. The theory is that a lot of people applauded his re-opening diplomatic relations with Cuba. Even if they disagree with me and Marco Rubio about that bit of executive action, how is it that millions of us have apparently decided after six years of ObamaCare and the Benghazi, Operation Fast & Furious, VA and IRS scandals that they no longer mattered?

Mark Twain once joked that he didn’t lie because he didn’t have a very good memory. It seems to me that Barack Obama lies because he doesn’t think we have very good memories, and the same goes for the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Josh Earnest and Jonathan Gruber. When nearly everything we say or do is recorded on video, you would think they would straighten out their acts, but, apparently, unless you watch Fox, you’d have no idea that these people lie, if for no other reason than to stay in practice.

But maybe Obama is wise to take our ignorance for granted. After all, even after drawing and then quickly erasing red lines with Russia and Syria, and allowing Iran to make a monkey out of him at the negotiating table, our Commander-in-chief has proven himself to be, in the words of my friend Steve Maikoski, the Great Capitulator.

In other news, we are told that Justin Bieber is worth $200 million. We have also heard that Oprah Winfrey is worth two billion and Warren Buffet is worth roughly 35 billion. I know it’s just a figure of speech, but I wish we would learn to just say these pinheads have an awful lot of money without suggesting they are worth a plugged nickel.

After dismissing the movie, “Whiplash,” as a waste of time, a friend let me know he planned to see it because he liked “drum music,” and I congratulated him on coming up with a new and unique oxymoron. But after sitting through 16 other DVDs provided by the studios, all seeking my vote in the WGA award competition, I am wondering why movies even pay editors. When the new releases average 150 minutes, it’s hard to imagine that any footage ends up on the cutting room floor. You would have thought editors had gone the way of those guys who used to provide dialogue titles for silent movies.

Speaking of movies, I can’t say I was disappointed with “Unbroken,” the story of Louis Zemperini, who first survived 47 days at sea after his plane was shot down during WWII and then, according to Laura Hillenbrand’s book, suffered daily beatings by a sadistic Japanese POW camp commander for two long years. It didn’t ring true in the book and didn’t in the movie.

It was hard enough to survive in Japanese captivity without having to endure constant torture and no medical attention. I even wrote to Ms. Hillenbrand asking if she had actually managed to confirm what she was told or had simply accepted what Zemperini said as gospel. After all, rumor has it that men, even those in their 90s, have been known to brag to women. So far, I haven’t heard back.

Because it’s been preying on my mind for years, I would like someone to explain why “Peanuts” has enjoyed such lasting success. I never thought it was a funny comic strip. Not funny or clever or thoughtful, and, what’s more, I thought Snoopy was a bore, even when he went up against the Red Baron. What have I been missing?

I once heard that the best definition of an optimist was a professional accordionist with a pager. But I have come to believe that Alan Jay Lerner, the lyricist and librettist best known for “Brigadoon,” “Gigi,” and “My Fair Lady,” should have his picture next to the word in the dictionary. This is a man who married for the first time when he was 21 years old. By the time he died 46 years later, at the age of 67, he had been married seven more times. What’s more, he was married for 43 of those years, meaning he averaged less than six months between getting a divorce and once again tying the knot. If that’s not optimism, I don’t know what it is. Well, maybe insanity.

Because some of my more concerned readers continue to ask how I am doing in the aftermath of the surgery on my hand and arm last January, I am happy to report that the rheumatoid arthritis is no longer plaguing me.

However, I did suffer an attack of the gout recently. My only prior experience with the condition was seeing old Laurel and Hardy or Charley Chase comedies in which men suffering from the gout would be shown with his inflamed foot wrapped in a Turkish towel. But in spite of the towel, someone was sure to step on his aching foot or slam a car door on it.

I thought it was very amusing until I was the guy who felt like he had a pin cushion sewn up in his big right toe. I never assumed I would have anything more in common with King Henry VIII than the fact we had both been married more than a couple of times — though not as often as Alan Jay Lerner — our occasional disagreements with the pope and our roguish little beards. Too bad it couldn’t have stayed that way.

Believe me, the gout is no joke. The joke is that it’s commonly referred to as the rich man’s disease and somehow I got it!


Paging Eric Holder

If the cops are as racist as the idiots in the streets keep claiming, why is it we never see Asians or black immigrants from the Caribbean rioting and complaining about police brutality? With all the people of color residing in America, why is it always and only native-born blacks who take to the streets complaining of mistreatment? Could it possibly have anything to do with the violent crime rate and the lack of parental discipline found in their community that leads to so many unpleasant interactions between the police and young black thugs?

Furthermore, if things are as oppressive as they claim, why do we never see a mass migration to Canada or Mexico? The only blacks we ever see leaving the U.S. are those like convicted cop killer Joanne Chesimard, who leave, seeking asylum in Cuba.

Every other group that has ever faced hardship and persecution has crossed oceans, if necessary, to seek a better and safer life. Mainly they’ve come to America, long a magnet for the world’s outcasts. Only blacks see this country as a loathsome place – a place like czarist Russia, Nazi Germany, Iran, Cuba and China — a snake pit to run from, and yet they never run. I find that very odd when you realize they could easily find refuge just across the border.

Could it be that even they know that their claims are bullshit, and that they simply enjoy getting to live off the labor of others, while still having the gall to gripe about it?

Eric Holder called white people cowards who were scared to have an honest conversation about race in America. Ready when you are, Attorney General Holder.

In America, black racism is apparently one of the few growth industries we still have. I’m not just speaking about Jesse Jackson, Louis Farrakhan and Al Sharpton, who have all grown wealthy by promoting racial divide in America, but the members of the Congressional Black Caucus, who are so bigoted against whites they should wear black sheets to work. And then there’s Oprah Winfrey, who, I’ll remind you, was so deep in Obama’s pocket in 2008 that she wouldn’t even allow his equally left-wing opponent, Hillary Clinton, to appear on her show.

Can you imagine the outrage if a white TV talk show host let it be known that he would have presidential candidates on his show, but would draw the line when it came to Herman Cain, Condoleezza Rice and Ben Carson?

Or as one of my readers, Pat Miano, pointed out: “Why shouldn’t white people racially profile blacks as criminals? After all, they racially profile us as racists. At least we have objective statistics to back us up.”

However you may personally feel about the police, it takes a certain breed of moron to demonstrate in the streets carrying signs condemning the cops, especially when those signs were provided by the Revolutionary Communist Party, USA, under the auspices of Bob Avakian, a proud Maoist who traces his tawdry career back to the radical politics of the Bay area in the 1960s. Some people grow up over the course of half a century, others merely ferment.

As insipid as Communist rhetoric inevitably is, you still have to give the sign maker, revcom.us, its due, because at least its messages are all spelled correctly. On the other hand, when Cleveland Cavalier LeBron James and his teammates decided to show their solidarity with the creeps tying up traffic in the streets, their shirts read: “I Can’t Breath.”

I don’t know who it was that started the fad of black Americans adopting Muslim names, but isn’t it time they wised up? It’s bad enough if you were named Barack Hussein Obama by your parents, but guys like Muhammad Ali and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had perfectly fine names, Cassius Clay and Lew Alcindor, before they went screwy. But these days, they’ve been joined by the likes of Ismaayl Abdullah Muhammud, who shot and killed the two cops in New York, and Zaim Farouq Abdul, who attacked New York’s finest with a hatchet, two American blacks who decided to adopt Islamic names along with typical Islamic behavior.

Are these people so abysmally ignorant that they’re unaware of the essential role that Muslims played – and continue to play – in the African slave trade?

Speaking of ignoramuses, Democrats in Congress are always ready to campaign for a higher minimum wage, claiming that people can’t possibly live on it. Actually, people can. But they’d have a hard time trying to raise a family on $7.10-an-hour. On the other hand, it was never intended to apply to the heads of households. In fact, if it weren’t for all those illegal aliens, nobody would ever receive it, except for high school kids looking to augment their allowances.

What the self-righteous, vote-trolling Democrats, never want to discuss is the destruction ObamaCare has wreaked on middleclass salaries by forcing employers to cut the work week by nearly 30%, reducing the traditional 40 hours to a skimpy 29.

After it was finally determined that it was in fact Kim Jong-un who had hacked Sony’s computers, thus removing Pope Francis, Bugs Bunny and the Tooth Fairy from the original list of suspects, Barack Obama promised a “proportional response” to North Korea.

It once again raises the question of Obama’s testosterone level. At the same time it makes some of us wonder if he even knows what “proportional” means. Clearly, a person who swaps five Islamic terrorists for one Army deserter has a very vague grasp of its definition.

But, then, Obama also freed three convicted Cuban spies and provided the Castros with diplomatic recognition and a flood of hard currency in exchange for absolutely nothing. And let us not forget this is the same schmuck who has dedicated himself to releasing one Gitmo prisoner after another, not even slightly concerned that a third of them return to the battlefield to resume killing American soldiers and hacking the heads off civilians.

After six years, some people think Obama is inept. However, if you agree that he has achieved a good deal of his original intention, which, as he vowed in 2008, included the redistribution of America’s wealth, the destruction of the coal industry, changing the way that the world viewed us and the radical transformation of America — including its economy, its health care and race relations – I’d have to say he’s been pretty damn ept!

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.




Rand Paul, I’m Talking To You!

Isolationists are always insisting that America can’t be the world’s policeman; what they don’t tell you is who should be. After all, even the most liberal pinheaded pacifist wouldn’t dare suggest this is a safe world. So who gets the job? The U.N.?!

There are two reasons that’s a lousy idea. The first is that the U.N. is incapable of keeping the peace even on a grammar school playground. Hell, they can’t even wipe out the few hundred members of Boko Haram, a name which apparently translates to “Western education is a sin,” but should conclude with “but kidnapping 300 Christian girls is a virtue in the eyes of Allah.”

The second reason is that all the worst foxes are already inside the big glass henhouse, and one of the very worst, Russia, sits on the Security Council and therefore has veto power.

I could add that this is an organization that has made a practice of condemning Israel on a regular basis for the past several decades, but never even censures China, Cuba, Iran, Pakistan or the Palestinians.

To get an honest picture of the U.N. and the world media, all you have to do, as my friend Donald Melquist suggests, is compare the reaction to Israel’s killing a thousand Arabs in Gaza in order to stem the firing of missiles and the burrowing of tunnels, to the fact that in nearby Syria, Assad has been responsible for the deaths of over 150,000 of his own people.

When civilian deaths, however justified, can be laid at the feet of the Israelis, we have cries of moral outrage from every corner of the globe and front page denouncements in the New York Times. When it comes to Assad, a butcher who has used poison gas to murder his political opponents, you can hear a pin drop. It’s a deathly silence, except, of course, for the screams of the dying.

As I see it, the problem isn’t with the U.S. serving as the world’s policeman, but that, unfortunately, in Obama we have a cop who prefers golfing and giving speeches to keeping the peace.

The most astonishing thing about modern times is that followers of Islam have declared a jihad on the West, but it is a war that the West refuses to acknowledge. Instead of taking on our common foe, Russia, Europe and America, all dither around, stepping on each other’s toes like the Three Stooges.

Instead of accepting that when they bomb train stations, pizza parlors, theaters and consulates, they mean business, the West pretends that it’s only a tiny group of zealots. Of course it was only a tiny group of zealots who overthrew Czar Nicholas, took over the Weimar Republic or, for that matter, sent King George III packing. Instead, we either go to war in order to defend one gang of Islamists from another or we bow and scrape, for fear that we may have bruised the feelings of some Muslim in Dearborn, Michigan, by pointing out that virtually every act of terror committed since 1979 has been accompanied by a cry of “Allahu Akbar!”

Every time I see one of those well-dressed lizards from CAIR showing up on TV claiming that Islam is as benevolent as the Shriners, I find myself wondering if we would have ever gone to war with the Nazis if Hitler had merely claimed to be spreading a religion known as Nazism and was not really out to conquer the world.

I hate to admit it, but when the three Central American presidents met with Obama and they blamed the drug cartels plaguing their nations on us, they were right. If millions of Americans hadn’t chosen to dedicate their lives to heroin, cocaine and marijuana, the drug cartels would be out of business by this weekend. I know it suits our vision of ourselves to blame farmers in Afghanistan for growing poppies or Latino thugs in L.A. for peddling the stuff, but if it weren’t for all those good solid Americans who can’t bear the thought of facing life if they can’t sniff, smoke or shoot some sort of crap into their bodies, addiction would just be a word in the dictionary.

A friend of mine suggested that a step in the right direction would be to decriminalize all drugs. I don’t think that’s any kind of solution. What I would really like to see happen is for people and especially judges to stop calling drug addiction a disease. A disease is something that happens to you, it’s not something you choose to go out and buy in an alley or on a street corner. And surely I can’t be the only person who is sick and tired of people breaking the law while under the self-induced influence and who then, instead of going to jail, get to enter rehab.
I know that some Republicans are concerned that in recent polls, Hillary Clinton has a 54% approval rating, and that in imaginary races against certain potential opponents, she’s running 10-12% ahead of them. I say we Republicans have nothing to fear but fear itself.

For one thing, her numbers have been falling for months, ever since we saw Hillary being Hillary on her book tour, talking about being flat broke in 2001 just before she and Bill scooped up $150 million in book deals and speaking fees, and boasting about how her reset button with Russia was a piece of brilliant diplomacy.

For another thing, when people are voting in fantasy face-offs two years before one side has even nominated a candidate, the results are meaningless. Keep in mind that once 2016 rolls around, the RNC will begin running TV spots in which night after night, we’ll all see Hillary, glaring through her Coke-bottle glasses, and barking “What difference, at this point, does it make who murdered four Americans in Benghazi?” I’m already salivating.

But in preparation for the all-important 2016 presidential election, it’s not too early for me to take the pulse of the electorate.

In this, my latest poll, I am asking that you let me know which of the following Republicans (listed in alphabetical order) you would like to see carry the Republican banner into battle.
Vote for just one person and please refrain from commenting, unless it’s to pay me a compliment. So keep it short and sweet, just like me.

Jeb Bush….Ben Carson…Chris Christie….Ted Cruz….Trey Gowdy….Mike Huckabee….Bobby Jindal….Susana Martinez….Sarah Palin….Rand Paul….Mike Pence….Rick Perry….Mitt Romney….Marco Rubio….Paul Ryan….Rick Santorum….Scott Walker….(Other).

Please take a moment and let me know who you favor by submitting your vote to me at BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




“The Out-Box” and “Ah, Sweet Mysteries of Life”

Because simply keeping track of all the absurdities that make our lives so troubling makes my in-box expand to its breaking point, I occasionally have to clear it out. So consider this a spring cleaning.

For openers, I would suggest that in the wake of the spineless administrators at Rutgers uninviting Condoleezza Rice to deliver this year’s commencement address, it’s time for conservatives to quit behaving like Charlie Brown, who never seems to catch on that Lucy Van Pelt is going to snatch away the football just before he kicks it. In the future, conservatives should insist on a $50,000 cashier’s check when they agree to speak at a college. If they get to say their piece, the check is returned to the college. Otherwise, it gets cashed.

It’s high time that the academic cowards face actual consequences when they cave in to the demands of CAIR, the NAACP or some campus group representing left-wing albinos, and pull the welcome mat out from under their guest speakers.

Moving on, too many people are dying because the FDA not only takes too many years to green light new drugs, but refuses to allow the terminally ill to at least try experimental cures. It seems to me that if you only have a few months to live, so long as you sign a release guaranteeing that no ambulance-chasing shyster is going to come after the manufacturer or the FDA if the drug fails to save you, a person should be free to try anything, however unlikely it is to prevent his demise.

Speaking of death, in 2009, Barack Obama swore to cut through the red tape and get our military veterans the health care they deserve. Considering his track record, it should come as no surprise that the backlog at the V.A. hospitals has only gotten worse over the past five years. But, then, has the troll in the Oval Office ever delivered on a promise, aside from his vow to destroy the coal industry?

Whether it’s involved lowering the cost of healthcare; capturing and punishing those who murdered four Americans in Benghazi; letting us keep our doctors and our health insurance; or removing Syria’s vile despot if he crossed a red line; one must assume the schmuck goes through life with his fingers crossed.

Moreover, the Liar-in-Chief claims that the GOP’s refusal to raise the hourly minimum wage from $7.25 to $10.10 is one more example of Republicans waging war on the middle class. This twerp has spent so much time in the company of millionaires and billionaires that he actually confuses the middle with the bottom. While it is true that, thanks to his economic policies, a lot of people have seen the American Dream morph into the American Nightmare, even Obama should understand that the middle is not defined by those making between $15,000 and $20,000-a- year.

As repulsive as Obama is, his acolytes are no better. When discussing the recent disclosures regarding Benghazi on the Fox panel show “The Five,” Bob Beckel, channeling his inner Hillary Clinton, started hollering and banging his pudgy fists on the table, insisting that nobody cares what happened there.

Because it drew attention to the show, I assume Beckel’s boss, Roger Ailes, immediately gave Beckel a raise and extended his contract. For my part, the embarrassing performance left me wondering if Beckel, the ex-alcoholic, had perhaps tripped over his tongue and fallen off the wagon.

Someone sent me a takeoff on an old advertising campaign, but instead of American Express, it was for something called the Race Card, and instead of Karl Malden, it was none other than Barack Obama endorsing it: “I sure love my Race Card. It comes in handy whenever I find myself in a mess I’ve made. I just whip it out and, voila, the mess is ignored. Plus there’s no limit on how many times I can use the Race Card. So don’t leave home without it.”

The campaign has been so successful that Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Elijah Cummings and Eric Holder, would never dream of leaving home without theirs.

Speaking of which, Jeri Wright, daughter of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, was recently found guilty on 11 counts, including money laundering, embezzling from charities and lying to federal agents. I’d love it if someone asked Reverend Wright how it feels to have a few of his own damn chickens coming home to roost.

I would be remiss if I didn’t thank the two men who have sponsored my weekly webcast for over a year. At a time when liberals can pressure colleges into uninviting anyone they disagree with; homosexuals can use the courts to put bakers, florists and photographers, out of business; and people like Jesse Jackson can extort money from companies by threatening them with boycotts; I think it behooves conservatives to reward those with the courage to sponsor a conservative loudmouth like myself.

Therefore, I would like to voice my appreciation to Mike Carmolinga, owner of Lulu’s, a wonderful, moderately-priced, restaurant here in the San Fernando Valley, and 82 year old Tom Tinney, who specializes in buying and selling precious metals. He has three stores in Phoenix and two in Connecticut, but he also conducts business online at Goodoletom.com.

They’re my sponsors, but they’re also my friends, and I just happen to think that their loyalty and their good sense should be rewarded by like-minded people.

Finally, I saw a photo of Jay (“I’m not really Pinocchio, we just talk alike”) Carney. He was standing in front of a sign that read “WHITE HOUSE” on the top line, with “WASHINGTON, D.C.” just below it. But because his head was blocking the right side of the sign, it read “WHITE” on top, “WASHING” below.

I contend that never before, at least under the current administration, has a job description been spelled out as clearly as that.

Ah, Sweet Mysteries Of Life

It’s a very weird world when the degenerates who populate the Muslim world can condemn our society as degenerate, and be right. After all, you don’t have to be a prude to consider our movies; our rap music; our insistence in turning teenage icons into false idols; our pretense that same-sex marriages are the same, if not better, than the traditional variety; our dependence on illegal, as well as prescription, drugs; our corrupt politicians; and our pathological fascination with pornography, to conclude that America is experiencing a moral decline that rivals that of ancient Rome.

It certainly helps explain why we elected Barack Obama and then, in spite of a stagnant economy, a decline in American power and prestige, an unrivaled series of scandals and a life style financed by our tax dollars that reminded some people of 18th century French royalty, we re-elected him.

As if all the changes wrought by the Affordable Care Act weren’t bad enough, I had already been aware of what I refer to as the Sleep Apnea Racket. It so happens that I suffered from the condition in which one stops breathing periodically during the night and begins kicking one’s feet. When my wife first called it to my attention, I found it hard to believe that I could carry on like a Radio City Rockette and not wake myself up. Still, I had noticed that I was getting very sleepy by mid-afternoon, so I decided to visit a doctor.

He sent me to be tested at a local sleep clinic, where I discovered that I was unable to fall asleep with all those electrodes attached to me. So I got off the cot at 4 a.m. and drove home. But not before the technician insisted that I had in fact fallen asleep and, sure enough, I had sleep apnea.

When I went back to see the doc, I gave him the full report, but added that I was willing to assume that my wife wasn’t making it up, and therefore I wanted to know my options. He said that I had three choices. I could either have surgery performed on my nasal passage, making it easier for me to breathe; I could try sleeping with an oxygen mask on my face; or I could try losing some weight.

So I lost some weight and my wife assured me I was cured. There was no more kicking, no more struggling to breathe.

However, when it came time to buy a new life insurance policy, it seems I was expected to pay a premium because sleep apnea was on my medical record. But in order to prove I was cured, I had to be tested. So I went to a different sleep clinic, figuring that perhaps I would be able to fall asleep under different conditions.

Apparently, the conditions weren’t different enough because once again I failed to sleep. This technician, however, also insisted that I had dropped off and, what’s more, announced that I was still suffering from the dreaded apnea.

It is therefore my belief that no sleep clinic ever tells anyone the truth. And why would they? Without an endless supply of the walking dead, they’d be out of business. No vampires, no future in being vampire hunters. I mean, it’s not as if the insurance companies, which make a bundle off sleep apnea, whether real or alleged, are going to blow the whistle on the con artists in white smocks.

You may have seen the female members of the Congressional Black Caucus calling for military action and even the use of drones to kill the Muslim thugs who abducted the black school girls in Nigeria, something they’ve never done when the victims were merely Christians or Jews. By the way, it’s worth noting that while she was still Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton refused to identify Boko Haram, the Islamic gang responsible for the crime, as a terrorist group. But, then, again, I’m sure her response today would be, “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

And considering that the overwhelming majority of America’s 1.4 million gang members, who commit 50% of the violent crime in our country, reside in the districts the women of the Black Caucus and their male counterparts represent, you would think they’d at least call for appropriate federal action to wage war on those vermin who victimize the decent law-abiding, members of the black community.

The U.S. State Department, which rivals the IRS and the EPA when it comes to shaming itself, is listed as a “cultural partner” of the 24th Abu Dhabi International Book Fair. Among the best sellers on display, both in English and Arabic, are such page-turners as “Mein Kampf,” “The International Jew” and the ever-popular favorite of anti-Semites everywhere, including, I’m sure, those entrenched at the State Department, “The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion.”

Finally, I have long pondered why American parents continue to believe that their children all belong in college. It was pathetic enough when there were actually jobs awaiting those who had majored in liberal arts. But today, when the likeliest doors such a degree is likely to open is the one leading to a career flipping burgers or the one to their parent’s basement, you’d think everyone would acknowledge that it makes far more sense to learn a trade than to waste four years majoring in Black, Hispanic or Lesbian Studies, or listening to liberal professors prattle on about the evils of the free market, religion and America.

Along those lines, I’d like to share a joke that’s gone viral on the Internet. It seems Bubba went to a state university on a football scholarship. He was a great running back, but a terrible student.

Come Graduation Day, Bubba didn’t have enough credits to warrant a sheepskin, but his fellow students, who had no doubt recently staged a demonstration demanding that Condoleezza Rice, Ayaan Hirsi Ali or Clarence Thomas, be uninvited to give the commencement address, staged yet another, demanding that Bubba’s gridiron exploits be rewarded with a diploma.

Predictably, the dean, who lacked the spine to stand up to an organized pout, announced that Bubba would first have to answer a single question.

Come Graduation Day, the auditorium was packed to the rafters when the dean called Bubba to the stage. “Answer this one question correctly,” he said, “and you graduate. Are you ready?”
“Is that the question?”

“No, Bubba. The question is: How much is three times seven?”

Bubba gazed up at the ceiling, then down at his shoes. Finally, when the tension was as thick as Bubba’s head, he said, “I think the answer is…twenty-one.”

A hush fell upon the auditorium…and then, after emitting a collective groan, the students shouted: “Give him another chance.”

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.