“It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad World” and “Sour Notes At The Met”

It just recently came to light that back in February, Joe Biden’s son, Hunter, was booted out of the Navy Reserve when he tested positive for cocaine. A great many people wrote, wondering how it was that the media didn’t cover the story.

When I actually delved into it, I discovered that Biden’s daughter, Ashley, was busted by the narcs back in 2009, and that story has been buried even deeper and for more years.

It would be bad enough if the media decided that what the children of politicians did was nobody’s business, even though that would mean that the kids received all the perks that go with being the son or daughter of a senator, a vice president or a president, but had no reason to fear their dirty laundry would be exposed. But the sad truth is that the media plays favorites, depending on whether the parent is a Republican or a Democrat. As you may have noticed, when George Bush was in the White House, the media delighted in letting us know about every stupid thing his young daughters did, and the twins Jenna and Barbara were barely 20 when he was elected, and one of the things they didn’t do was cocaine.

They even went after Sarah Palin’s daughter when Sarah was John McCain’s running mate in 2008 and Bristol was still a teenager.

On the other hand, when Ashley Biden was busted in 2009, she was 28 years old and Hunter was all of 43 when he got kicked out of the Navy Reserve, but the media treated them as if they were a couple of innocent young squirts whose futures they had to protect.

As of this moment, Ebola has killed two Americans, the same number of Americans that the butchers in Iraq have beheaded, and yet Obama has sent 3,000 soldiers (otherwise known as 6,000 boots on the ground) to West Africa and none to confront ISIS. It must occur even to the nitwit in the White House that sending troops to Ebola Central serves no purpose other than to increase the odds of Ebola killing a great many more Americans in the future.

Lest anyone think that ours is the only government controlled by boobs, the British Parliament just voted 274-12 to pass a motion recognizing an Arab state alongside Israel. Right, as if what the world needs is one more barbaric nation that can join the U.N. and vote against us on an hourly basis.

Although the vote was only symbolic, it shows that the Brits are ready to recognize the legitimacy of Islamic terrorists whose approach to peaceful relations with Israel consists of raining down thousands of missiles on Jewish civilians, and who occasionally break up the monotony of beheading Americans by beheading Englishmen.

I have heard from a great many of the 150 people who responded to my recent poll by saying that even if the GOP took control of the Senate, it wouldn’t make any difference. It seems they took offense to my describing them as misguided. I obviously anticipated that would be the case, but how could I do otherwise when I honestly believe they are misguided?

I thought it was telling that even in their angry rebuttals, most of them didn’t bother refuting my contention that even if all a Republican Senate did was force Obama to veto House bills instead of leaving it up to Harry Reid to bury them, and that, even more importantly, would prevent Obama from sticking any more Kagans and Sotomayors on the Supreme Court, it would be, in the immortal words of Joe Biden, “a big (#&%@*$*%#) deal!”

One of the sorriest aspects of what the liberals have been able to do, mainly through a corrupt education system, is convince America’s youth that they are smarter, wiser and more decent, than other people. As you may have noticed, most students don’t take science and math, but they consider themselves experts when it comes to global warming. Most of them don’t study economics, but they know corporations are evil and raising the minimum wage is good. They barely know how to read and they get their news from Bill Maher and Jon Stewart, but they know that conservatives are out to destroy the world and only they can save it.

Finally, for all of Harry Reid’s complaints about wealthy Republicans like the Koch brothers destroying democracy by supporting GOP candidates, year in and year out, the Democrats out-spend the GOP, and this year is no exception. By November 4th, the two parties will have shelled out about a billion dollars to get their people elected, with the Democrats outspending the Republicans by roughly $100 million, and, God willing, having far less to show for it.

Even liberals had to be embarrassed when it came out that one of Obama’s major donors is a guy actually named Richie Richman. Believe me, if Richie were a Republican, David Letterman would never stop teasing him and wondering if he has a brother named Fat Cat.


As the old joke has it, a tourist asks a New Yorker how to get to the Met, and the wiseacre responds: “Practice, practice, practice.” These days, thanks to a few screwballs inhabiting the opera world, the answer is “First kill an old Jew on the high seas.”

To get the full story, we have to go back to 1985 when Leon and Marilyn Klinghoffer decided to take an ocean cruise to celebrate their 36th wedding anniversary aboard an Italian liner called the Achille Lauro, having no idea that along with the buffet and shuffleboard, the cruise would include four members of the Palestine Liberation Front.

Once on the high seas, the terrorists hijacked the ship and demanded it sail to Syria. They also demanded that Israel release 50 of their fellow swine. After Syria refused to allow the ship to dock, they went on to Port Said in Egypt. But along the way, they decided it would please Allah if they killed Mr. Klinghoffer, who was 69 and confined to a wheelchair. They shot him and had his body tossed overboard.

In the immediate aftermath, a spokesman for the group suggested that Mrs. Klinghoffer, who would die of colon cancer just four months later, had killed her husband for the insurance money. But, on second thought, the PLO quickly scuttled that story, refusing to give up its bragging rights so easily. After all, if a Jew was killed, they naturally wanted all the glory for themselves.

After the ship docked, the hijackers escaped in a jet. Unfortunately for them, Ronald Reagan, not Barack Obama, was in the White House at the time and he ordered a U.S. fighter plane to force the getaway plane down in Italy, where the hijackers were arrested.

Inevitably, a composer named, of all things, John Adams decided to turn the gruesome event into an opera, which not too surprisingly in this day and age set out to show the human side of the Islamic butchers. Just as predictably, New York’s Metropolitan Opera decided to schedule the production.

Because of the subject matter, suddenly even people who can’t tell their Puccini from their spumoni were paying attention to opera. What’s more, it seemed to split Manhattan down the middle. On the one hand, you had the former mayor, Rudy Giuliani, leading a demonstration against the “The Death of Klinghoffer.” On the other hand, you had Mayor Bill De Blasio, an unrepentant Communist and all-around knucklehead, insisting that Giuliani and his fellow protestors were acting in an un-American manner, while neglecting to mention what was un-American about exercising their First Amendment right to demonstrate peacefully.

It is invariably goofballs on the Left who seem to forget that the First Amendment provides for free speech, but does not deprive others of their right to disagree with that which is spoken. It also guarantees Americans the inalienable right to compare De Blasio to the hindquarters of a particularly unattractive horse.

It’s not too surprising that among the fashionable opening night crowd at the Met was Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. So far as I know, she did not offer a judgment of either the production or of De Blasio’s comment.

In other news, it seems that the teacher’s unions have donated over $80 million to the Democrats this year. As near as I can determine, there are roughly four million teachers in those unions. That works out to $20-per-teacher. If I were in the union, and even if I were a Democrat, I believe I would be very vocal about the misuse of my dues. Inasmuch as we are always hearing that schools can’t afford to devote class time to art or music, how about chipping in some of that $80 million to help solve the problem?

As you may have noticed, Monica Lewinsky, 41, is back in the news. I swear she’s harder to get rid of than crabgrass. After listening to this perennial adolescent prattle on about how the media ruined her life, it seems she hasn’t learned anything since the day she mastered the art of not gagging while engaged in oral sex. I have an open mind, though. If Ms. Lewinsky can explain exactly how the media managed to get her under Bill Clinton’s desk in the first place, I’ll take her complaints seriously.

The cynicism on the Left probably reaches its apex when it comes to the use of photo IDs when it comes to voting. The Democrats keep promoting the fiction that it serves no other purpose but to disenfranchise minority voters. When it’s pointed out that the same IDs are required to buy booze, board planes, cash checks or enter any venue at which one or both of the Obamas are in attendance, their only response is to repeat the silly lie.

Democrats also claim that Republicans exaggerate the actual amount of voter fraud taking place, whereas Republicans point out that even if it only happens once, it’s once too often because it serves to offset a legitimate vote.

In speaking about the subject, Brit Hume, usually the reliable voice of commonsense at Fox, suggested that the two parties should strive to achieve a compromise. When I heard that, I had to blink to make sure that Juan Williams, the living equivalent of a lawn jockey at Fox, wasn’t throwing his voice.

Inasmuch as Brit Hume didn’t indicate what such a compromise would look like, I could only picture voters showing up at their polling places carrying an Etch-a-Sketch of themselves.

Finally, a friend sent me an email in which she suggested that one way to protect her home would be to tear out the alarm system and, instead, place a few black ISIS flags in the front yard, thus guaranteeing that the local cops, the FBI and Homeland Security, would keep their collective eyes on her property 24/7.

I let her know that I get the same results by having an American flag next to the front door and an “Anyone but Hillary” sign in my front yard.

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©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.