“If I Were Emperor” and “A Bush League Candidate”

For several years, Barack Obama insisted that he didn’t have the constitutional authority to change our immigration laws. No matter how Hispanics put the question to him, his answer was always the same. He kept pointing out he was the president, not the emperor. Then one morning he woke up, discovered an ermine robe hanging in his closet, and decided that he was either the star attraction in a gay musical revue or he was the emperor, and decided that either way he had the authority.

Well, I don’t have anything better than a flannel bathrobe in my closet, but I would certainly like to be able to make or remake the laws to my liking. And to start with, I would pass a law ensuring that no congressional bill would ever run more than two pages or deal with more than a single issue.

It is simply too easy to shove everything including the kitchen sink into one of those 1,500 page monstrosities, knowing that nobody in Congress is about to spend a month reading the damn thing, meaning that, in the immortal words of Nancy Pelosi, people will simply have to pass it to find out what’s in it.

We all know that these gargantuan pieces of legislation are merely Trojan horses used by both parties to conceal pork and to play politics. How many times have we heard that the Democrats will tie, say, military allocations into bills dealing with things they need Republican support to pass? And, let me add, vice versa. I say let each and every bill stand alone. If either party can’t muster the votes to pass its pet legislation, we can probably live without it.

For the longest time, I was aware that certain high-profile people have only a passing acquaintance with the English language. I mean, it’s downright embarrassing listening to most Hollywood celebrities, professional athletes, members of the Black Congressional Caucus and pinheads like Patty Murray, Barbara Boxer and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, attempt to express a single coherent thought.

Recently, I had occasion to add to the list Bill Cosby, who chose to refer to the two dozen accusations of rape as “innuendo,” and Jonathan Gruber, who dismissed the numerous occasions when he called Americans stupid for believing the lies about ObamaCare as his attempt at “glibness.” As any dictionary would have been only too happy to explain, being glib is to be facile and linguistically fluent. I, Herr Gruber, am glib; you, on the other hand, are a lying piece of egotistical chicken poop.

Speaking of liars, Obama strove to put the best possible face on partisan hack Sen. Feinstein’s CIA-flaying report by declaring, “When we do something wrong, we acknowledge it.” Come again? This putz hasn’t even come clean about his travel visa or his college application from 35 years ago, let alone Benghazi, the IRS targeting of the Tea Party or his unconstitutional reversal on amnesty.

While the widow and the daughter of Eric Garner have gone out of their way to state that in their opinion, the unfortunate death of their husband and father at the hands of white police officers had nothing to do with racism, we had Obama and his lackey Eric Holder leading a crusade against so-called racial profiling. The irony is that if such profiling is a sin, it’s one the president and his attorney general never tire of committing, so long as those being profiled are white men wearing blue uniforms.

Instead of attacking racial profiling, how about suggesting to those allegedly being profiled that Muslims stop waging war against all us Jewish and Christian infidels; that Hispanics stop sneaking across our border and making themselves wards of the American taxpayer; and that urban blacks stop committing violent crimes at a rate far exceeding their percentage of the population?

Something else that I would like to see changed is the kid glove approach that the media adopts with our presidents. I didn’t like it when the press pretended that FDR wasn’t an invalid. I also didn’t approve of the media’s concealing the fact that JFK, who not only suffered from back problems that had him addicted to pain pills, still managed to carry on like an over-sexed fraternity boy. It didn’t help that in addition to winking at his sexual shenanigans, they propagandized on his behalf by showing him posing for Hallmark cards at the Kennedy compound, pretending there was nothing he enjoyed more than playing touch football with his dysfunctional clan.

The media also provided cover for Clinton, who was not only a sexual predator, but had a foul mouth and a hair-trigger temper. But the media conspired to portray him as a good old boy who was all “shucks” and “golly gee whiz,” and could have stepped right out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

The only reason I now know that Barack Obama behind closed doors is even more appalling than the one I’d come to despise over the years is because news reporter Ann Compton is retiring after 40 years of underreporting the news for ABC, and finally let on that Obama hurls obscenities at members of the media who even dare refer to his numerous scandals as scandals.

For reasons that elude me, my wife and I continue to receive requests, seemingly on a daily basis, to donate to Ben Carson’s bid for the presidency. As I’ve written in the past, I have nothing against the man. He has a pleasant voice, we agree about ObamaCare, and he seems like a nice guy. But, heck, the very same things can be said about me, and I know I’m not qualified for the job.

I’m sure Dr. Carson would advise people who haven’t attended medical school not to perform surgery, but he thinks someone who has never even been a mayor is just what we need in the Oval Office. Isn’t it enough that we’ve gone down this amateur road before with Herman Cain and Barack Obama?

Finally, every time I see Arabs and Muslims firing their guns into the air, I’m reminded once again that these schmucks are so backward, they’ve never even heard of gravity.


A Bush League Candidate

I must confess I wasn’t surprised that Jeb Bush announced that he is considering making a run for the GOP nomination in 2016. When properly translated from politician-speak that means that nothing short of a nuclear bomb will derail his ambition. But when all is said and done, I can’t help being fascinated by his apparent strategy.

Inasmuch as he has essentially rubberstamped Obama’s granting clemency to illegal aliens and endorsed Common Core, his plan, I take it, calls for him to receive the nomination after losing every single Republican primary and then going on to win the general election when a lot more idiots are allowed to vote.

I imagine the Democrats are as anxious for Jeb to head up our ticket in 2016 as we are to have Hillary Clinton carrying the banner for the pinheads. If both sides get their wish, it could be the first time in history that “None of the Above” receives more votes in a presidential election than either of the candidates.

Speaking of wretches named Clinton, someone should remind Bill that Eric Garner isn’t dead because he sold untaxed cigarettes, any more than Hillary’s husband was impeached and disbarred for having sex with a White House intern. In Garner’s case, he wound up on a slab because he resisted arrest. In Clinton’s case, it was because he committed perjury while testifying before a grand jury.
But I guess when you’ve spent your entire adult life spinning the truth and sucking up to minority voters, those are tough habits to break.

It seems a court affiliated with the European Union has concluded that Hamas, whose charter calls for the extinction of Israel, is not a terrorist organization, as we’ve all been led to believe…mainly by their terrorist activities. But, then, most of the European nations have had a warm place in their hearts for any group, no matter how odious, that hated Jews as much they did.

In related news, the member states of the EU have determined that Adolph Hitler wasn’t really evil, but merely misunderstood.

A reader, Brian Harmon, sent me a report that measured the business ethics in four nations, Mongolia, Japan, Korea and the United States. The respondents were business leaders who were asked to compare the rise or decline of ethics over a 10 year period. In the case of Mongolia, they were comparing 2010 to 2000; the Japanese were comparing 2004 to 1994; the Koreans, 2005 to 1995; and the Americans, 2000 to 1990.

The Mongolians were split 50-50 between those who felt things had improved or remained the same and those who saw a decline. In Japan, the good outweighed the bad 84% to 16%. In Korea, a mere 0.8% thought ethics were getting worse, while a resounding 99.2% thought things were getting better or at least staying the same. In the U.S., however, a scant 14.3% saw improvement, 50.3% thought things were getting worse.

Keep in mind that the polling of our business leaders took place in 2000. One can only imagine how awful the numbers would be today, with the schools, the media and a great many parents having had an additional 14 years in which to undermine traditional values, compounded by six years of Obama’s cynical, self-serving lies and immoral scandals.

Consider that in New York City, Mayor Bill De Blasio (born Warren Wilhelm, Jr.), who, like Obama, is a former community organizer, has accused the NYPD of being a gang of racists, even though, in the words of the old American Express slogan, he never leaves home without them. But it just goes to prove that once a community organizer, always a putz.

Black thugs and white morons clog up New York’s streets, chanting “What do we want? Dead cops! When do we want it? Now!” And the best that the city’s mayor can muster is a resounding “Yeah, me, too!” It’s no surprise that a great many New York police officers are now signing documents in which they state that if they should die in the line of duty, De Blasio is forbidden from attending their funeral services.

But none of this should come as a surprise to the voters in New York, who knew that this schmuck was a communist lamebrain when they gave him 73% of their votes, and would no doubt do the same today. Some of us assumed that New Yorkers couldn’t do much worse after electing Michael Bloomberg to three terms, but it just goes to show that one should never be too quick to overestimate the intelligence of the New York electorate.

Speaking of morons, even though I try to avoid watching football and basketball games on TV, there has been no way to avoid seeing LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers and a bunch of Cleveland Brown players wearing their “I Can’t Breathe” t-shirts. Clearly they can all breathe. Therefore, a more appropriate sentiment would have been “I Can’t Think.”

The world of technology has now come up with the Luce X2 Touch TV vending machine. Apparently it has the ability to identify customers and remember their snacking patterns. That enables the machine to deny would-be customers certain items it deems unhealthy for them. It sounds as if the folks at Luce have somehow managed to turn nanny Bloomberg into a annoying little vending machine.

It’s reassuring to know that some research scientists have retained their sense of priorities and aren’t wasting all their time seeking a cure for cancer.
Finally, I am happy to report that I have received hundreds of holiday greetings from my readers, some of whom take pains to wish me a Happy Chanukah instead of a Merry Christmas. For the record, I actually prefer Christmas, which has been a national holiday for as long as I’ve lived and will continue to be one, no matter what the ACLU claims to the contrary.

What’s not to love? The music, both sacred and popular, is great. The decorations are beautiful. .The classic Christmas movies are among the best films ever made. Plus, the sense of universal brotherhood is quite moving, even for those of us who actually had older brothers and should know better.

Let’s face it — you Christians know how to throw a holiday!

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.




“A Gruber By Any Name” and “A Survival Plan For The GOP”

If you’ve been watching Fox recently, you would think Prof. Jonathan Gruber had been given his own show. He’s been on more often than Juan Williams. While normally that would be a good thing, Gruber is no improvement over Obama’s fav Fox commentator.

In case you only watch the major networks, you wouldn’t even know that Gruber existed, let alone that, after helping to create the Affordable Care Act, he spent years bragging about how he helped the Democrats peddle chicken poop to the American people by calling it chicken fricassee.

What fooled me when I first heard about Prof. Gruber was that he was connected to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. In my mind, I connect MIT to very brainy people who know all about science, math and engineering; namely, the college classes you can’t bluff your way through by regurgitating left-wing pap. But then I found out he was a professor of economics, and it all made sense. Economics is to actual science what sausage links are to haute cuisine.

Gruber was paid $390,000 by this administration to provide “impartial” testimony on behalf of ObamaCare to Congress, the Federal Budget Bureau and the media, and millions more for consulting on state exchanges. Inasmuch as he freely admitted that he lied and lied and then lied some more, the arrogant elitist definitely earned his money, while sacrificing his soul.

I’m not sure if he got paid extra to say that Barack Obama’s own series of lies about people being able to keep their doctors and their health plans under the ACA “constituted a profile in courage.” But I would have thought it was worth at least an extra fifty grand, especially as Obama was using our tax dollars.

All in all, I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that it has to be more than mere coincidence that “Gruber” sounds like “goober” and that Adolf Hitler’s birth name happened to have been Schicklgruber.

The irony is that he did his job so well that in a very real sense, he is one of the people most responsible for the GOP’s taking back control of the House and Senate. If not for all the work Gruber did promoting ObamaCare, Republicans might have been forced to spend the next 40 years wandering in the wilderness.

Ironically, when Gruber repeatedly said Americans are stupid, he was only referring to Democrats. For their part, Republicans, both in and out of Congress, knew from the start that ObamaCare was one huge pile of socialist manure.

Gruber reminds me of every schlemiel in junior high who was convinced he was the smartest kid in school, and based that belief on the fact he was the only boy who didn’t know how to throw a football. It’s now been about 30 years since he was last pantsed and shoved head first into a trashcan. It’s time once again.

Trey Gowdy, one of the shining jewels of the House, in referring to such enormous, power-grabbing pieces of legislation as Dodd Frank, the Affordable Care Act and Obama’s Comprehensive Immigration Reform, suggested that “Comprehensive is Latin for full of bad stuff.”

Speaking of immigration, being American should never be the end result of sneaking across our border in order to give birth. Sneaking in is against the law, and in no other circumstance are people permitted to benefit from the commission of a crime. If that’s too complicated for Obama and the self-righteous members of the Congressional Latino Caucus to grasp, it would be tantamount to an illegal alien robbing a bank and his family getting to keep the money.

What’s more, in 2011, Obama told an audience that he lacked the constitutional authority to grant any form of immunity to illegals. Although he’s done his best to ignore the fact, the Constitution hasn’t changed over the past three years.

Although Chris Christie is one of a very few Republican governors I wouldn’t wish to see on the GOP ticket in 2016, I do appreciate that he did yeoman’s work in helping several of his colleagues get elected or re-elected in the midterms. In appreciation of his service, I will offer him a piece of free advice. While it comes as a breath of fresh air when a politician reacts to hecklers like a normal human being, you should ask some stand-up comic to provide you with a better line than “Sit down and shut up!”

What plays in New Jersey doesn’t work so well on the national stage. So while coming on like a street thug will get you face time on TV, it will not get you to the White House, except as a member of a tour group.

In other news, the FDA has announced it’s lifting its ban on homosexuals donating blood because of what it refers to as “an infinitesimal” chance of the blood being contaminated with the HIV virus. Far be it from me to question their definition of infinitesimal, but is it asking too much that the blood be clearly labeled and only used to transfuse gays and those straights who agree to sign a waiver?

Finally, Barack Obama’s net-neutrality is, as usual, a benign-sounding term to disguise a program intended to squelch conservative twitters. According to Michelle Malkin, while urging the FCC to “keep the Internet free and open,” Obama paid a million dollars to some professor named Filippo Menczer to develop a twitter-snooping database. (Am I the only person who feels a chill run down his spine every time I come across some hooker with a Ph.D servicing this administration?)

Although Prof. Menczer claims he only wishes to eliminate hate speech from the twitter universe, he has proclaimed his support for such left-wing purveyors of hate as Barack Obama’s Organizing for Action, Moveon.org, Greenpeace, the Sierra Club, Amnesty International and True Majority.

Clearly, Prof. Menczer is as politically neutral as Lois Lerner and every bit as fair-minded as George Orwell’s Big Brother.

It sounds to me like we need another trashcan.


 

A Survival Plan For The GOP

Although England has its own problems, there are things about their political system that I’d like us to adopt. First of all, I wish we, too, had a clear delineation between the royal family and the world of politics. In the U.S., we have combined the two so that the President and his family live like royalty while the President simultaneously serves as the Commander-in-chief and the very partisan head of his Party. It’s simply too much to expect of any one man.

Another aspect of the English system that I prefer is that when the Prime Minister’s policies seem unpopular and he wants to guarantee that he is still leading the nation in the direction it wishes to be led, they conduct a vote of confidence. If the opposition then wins a majority of the seats in Parliament, that party selects a new Prime Minister. After the midterm election results, if we had a similar system in place, there is no way that Obama would remain in power for an additional two years.

Speaking of the midterms, isn’t it high time we got rid of the two month lame duck session? By what right should people who lost their elections in early November remain in office until early January?

Perhaps in the old days, when it could take a long time for the newly elected to reach Washington, D.C., it made sense. But now, when even those who won in Alaska and Hawaii can get to the nation’s capital in a matter of hours, and those who lost can pack up their belongings in even less time, the two-month gap is not only unnecessary, but should be unconstitutional.

In other news, a 2013 video of Jonathan Gruber, an architect of the Affordable Care Act, addressing a panel at MIT recently turned up. Mr. Gruber is heard admitting that he and everyone else involved in pushing ObamaCare down our throats knew they had to lie about it as far back as 2009 in order to get the bill passed. That speaks badly about Obama, Reid, Pelosi and all their trained chimps in Congress, but it also speaks volumes about those voters who elected and then re-elected those same schmucks. But, then, Mr. Gruber did go on in his remarks to concede that the plan probably wouldn’t have worked if Americans weren’t so stupid.

Recently, someone sent me a two-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a reporter is asking Obama: “Why are you planning to grant amnesty to millions of illegals?” Obama replies, “Because they will do the jobs Americans don’t want to do.” In the second panel, the reporter asks: “Like what?” and Obama answers: “Voting for Democrats.”

In another email, a friend asked me why our fellow Jews continue to vote overwhelmingly for liberals, and went on to wonder why American Jews adored FDR, even though he refused to expand immigration for European Jews trying to escape the Nazi ovens and even refused to oblige his Air Force generals who begged to be allowed to bomb the train tracks leading to concentration camps.

I replied “Jews loved FDR because he was the first actual socialist elected to the White House. Some would say that honor belongs to Teddy Roosevelt or Woodrow Wilson, but it was FDR who actually adopted the socialist agenda as his own. It was no accident that between 1908 and 1932, the Socialists kept running presidential candidates, averaging 1.1 million votes in seven elections. But once FDR served his first term, the Socialist candidate never again garnered more than 187,000 votes. In 1948, starting with former FDR V.P. Henry Wallace, the Communists started running their own candidates, calling them Progressives.

When you grasp that for most of my fellow Jews, Liberalism is their true religion, you can begin to fathom why even during the recent tsunami for GOP candidates, 67% of Jewish voters voted the straight Democratic ticket. And that was in spite of the fact that Obama is the most anti-Semitic president we have ever had, dropping the vile Jimmy Carter into second place. Obama is a weasel who has had anti-Semitic mentors like Frank Marshall Davis, Jeremiah Wright and Valerie Jarrett, ever since he was a teenager, so it should come as no surprise that today he curries favor with despots in Russia, Iran and China, but dismisses Israel’s Bibi Netanyahu as a pile of chicken poop.

With 2015 looming on the horizon, when serious presidential candidates will begin making their intentions official, I am prepared to announce that my dream ticket is Scott Walker and Susana Martinez.

By way of explanation, I will point out that both have been successful governors with proven executive ability, having run on their records and been re-elected. In Walker’s case, having had to weather a nasty union-financed recall attempt, he’s actually been re-elected twice.

Geographically, Walker of Wisconsin and Martinez of New Mexico are well-balanced, and both are youthful. At least they are from my perspective. Walker is 47, Martinez is 55. Even when you add their ages together, they’re only 35 years older than Mrs. Clinton.

Inasmuch as I believe that we are best governed by people with executive experience, I prefer to have governors rather than senators or House members in the Oval Office. What sense is there in electing a president whose only experience consists of voting and giving speeches? Besides, we need all the Republicans we can get in Congress. No need to deplete our numbers by having them run for offices above their pay scale.

It might be in bad taste to mention that Gov. Martinez just happens to be a Latina, but the fact remains that it would provide the GOP with a convenient inroad to the Hispanic vote, and would have the added benefit of not having to pander by promoting their own pathetic version of amnesty or the Dream Act.

If you prefer to see two other people running in 2016, let me know by sending your dream ticket to me at BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

What’s more, I promise to report the results truthfully even if you’re goofy enough to mention people like Jeb Bush, Rick Santorum and Chris Christie.

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




Regarding Obama & Other Turkeys” and “A Reality Check”

Shortly before Thanksgiving, Obama, having heard that there were still a few extra bucks lying around waiting for him to vacuum up, jetted out here to California. While standing next to Dream Works studio boss/Obama hand maiden Jeffrey Katzenberg, Obama gazed out at the studio employees and, proving that his magical powers are more than a rumor dreamed up by Jay Carney, said: “I can see by looking at you that some of you weren’t born here.”

Assuming that by “here,” he meant the United States, and not the studio, just exactly how did he come by that conclusion? And if he has that capability, isn’t it just possible that when other people look at him and decide he wasn’t born in Hawaii, they might be right?

He followed up that performance by suggesting that we should all sit around the Thanksgiving table and talk up the glory of the Affordable Care Act. What’s more, he was serious. I confess that our little group is occasionally at a loss for conversational fodder once we’re past the mashed potatoes, but I can’t imagine that things would ever run so dry that anyone is likely to say, “How about that ObamaCare! Is it great or is it great? Pass the stuffing, please.”

When Obama went back to the White House and granted the Thanksgiving turkey an executive pardon, it wasn’t, as some people assumed, a matter of tradition, it was professional courtesy.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, isn’t it time we at least considered changing its date from the fourth Thursday in November to, say, the fourth Thursday in May? After all, it’s an arbitrary date, unlike Christmas, which at least conservatives will agree celebrates a birth, and isn’t really a tribute to winter and lousy weather, as atheists and other assorted pinheads seem to believe.

Why should we be giving thanks at a time of year when Christmas, Chanukah, New Year’s and my birthday, all converge – especially when there’s barely time to get home from one family reunion before it’s time to pack up for another? Besides, I think more people are thankful in May than they are in November – and one of the things they’re most thankful for is good weather, which makes travel easier because there are no snowstorms turning airports into barracks.

In Canada, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the second Monday in October. Okay, that’s Canada, a place where ice hockey is a national sport. But even here, it has only been a national holiday since the end of Reconstruction in the mid 1870s.

In 1939, FDR, caving to retailers who feared that because the fourth Thursday didn’t fall until very late in the month, Christmas sales would suffer, decided to move it up a week. That year, there were actually two Thanksgiving Days, with his critics mockingly referring to the early one as Franksgiving Day. In 1940, 16 states decided to ignore FDR’s wishes and celebrated the occasion on the traditional date. The pushback was so great that in 1941, Congress capitulated, and passed a law ensuring that the fourth Thursday would be the one and only Thanksgiving.

But, if they could change it once, they can do it again. I’m only suggesting they not change it by a piddling week, but by six months.

One of the things I was thankful for this year was that even Al Sharpton – yes, that Al Sharpton! – acknowledged that the Knockout Game, the vile competition in which black teenagers sucker punch white people – apparently garnering additional points if their victims are elderly or Jewish – isn’t a myth concocted by white conservatives in order to portray young blacks as human scum, but is a disgusting reality.

Inasmuch as Sharpton even went so far as to refer to them as thugs, you might think that white liberals in the media would finally find within themselves the courage to acknowledge that when you’ve had generations of black kids being raised without fathers, widespread black hooliganism isn’t an anomaly or a giant lie perpetrated by white racists, but is the inevitable result of a 70% rate of illegitimacy. How on earth can that not translate to a lack of discipline, which, in turn, guarantees a vicious cycle of crime, drugs and violence?

If Reverend Al can finally be honest about the fact that young black villains are not the result of white hostility, but of black irresponsibility, and that they are the victimizers far more often than they’re the victims, you would think that Barack Obama, the members of the Congressional Black Caucus and the liberal media, might follow suit.

I realize that I am only dreaming, but this is, after all, the season of miracles.

A REALITY CHECK

It’s mainly because we get to see senators on TV all the time, making pronouncements from on high that when it comes to handicapping presidential runs, senators get most of the attention. However, all that being a senator prepares you for is voting. That’s because the Senate is part of the legislative branch of government, whereas being president puts you atop the executive branch.

Being a governor, however, is similar to being a president. He has to know how to work with legislative bodies in which most of its members might belong to a different party. He has to know how to delegate responsibility. In short, he has to be an executive smart enough to surround himself with competent staffers, and not merely possess a voice box and a compulsion to see himself on the evening news. That is why I hope to see someone like Scott Walker, Mike Pence or Bobby Jindal, heading up the GOP ticket in 2016.

I wouldn’t object to someone like Ted Cruz, Rand Paul or Marco Rubio, being a running mate, if it’s necessary to provide geographical balance to the ticket or to help carry an important state.

Unlike others, I look back longingly on the days when a few savvy party bosses picked the candidates, and didn’t leave it up to primaries and state caucuses to thin the herd. All those do is waste a ton of money and leave the eventual candidate bloody, while bestowing the Democrats with a multitude of sound bites with which they can then pummel their opponent in the general election.

In New York City, mayoral candidate Bill De Blasio, who brags about having worked for ACORN, vows to take the city in a new leftist direction. His first step in that direction will be to eliminate the NYPD’s “Stop and Frisk” program that has lowered New York’s murder rate under both Rudy Giuliani and Michael Bloomberg. In most municipalities, that, alone, would cost De Blasio the election. But because most New Yorkers use their brains as seat cushions, he is the prohibitive favorite to wind up with the keys to Gracie Mansion.

Meanwhile, in D.C., 61 senators chose to allow the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) come to a vote, although the seven Republicans – Ayotte, Portman, Toomey, Heller, Collins, Hatch and Kirk – were holding out for amendments that would permit religious employers some leeway when it came to hiring homosexuals, bisexuals and members of the transgender crowd. Maybe it’s just me, but even if my religion was okay with it, if I were an employer, I really wouldn’t want to have to hire someone I didn’t want to hire. It seems to me that if it’s okay to deprive service to people who aren’t wearing shoes and shirts, it should be an employer’s right not to hire people who feel the need to act out their sexual freakiness on his premises.

The so-called architect of ENDA, Chai Feldman, a member of Obama’s Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, was recently quoted saying that in a conflict between those in her protected classes and those who feel their religious rights are being trampled, “I can’t even imagine a situation in which I’d come down on the side of the religious.” Very odd, you’d think, coming from the daughter of a rabbi. But these days, most rabbis, being to the left of Nancy Pelosi, would probably applaud her.

I confess I can’t come to grips with those who think that Republicans should be more willing to compromise with the Democrats. For one thing, as we saw during the passage of the Affordable Care Act, the Democrats wouldn’t even pretend to consider one of the 85 amendments offered by House Republicans; and, for another, at the so-called bi-partisan meeting hosted by the newly-elected president in 2009, as soon as John McCain opened his mouth to make a suggestion, Obama quickly shut him down, reminding him who had won the election.

But, really, how does anyone expect those who view George Washington, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, as their spiritual fathers to reach accord with those who see Karl Marx, Fidel Castro and Saul Alinsky, in that light?

Speaking of which, can you imagine a worse Thanksgiving than one at which the Emanuel brothers, Rahm and Ezekial, are seated at the table? Rahm, Chicago’s mayor, is a notorious potty mouth, while Ezekial, who is referred to as the Architect of ObamaCare – and actually takes pride in that designation — is a rude and obnoxious motor-mouth who, if you’ve caught his act with Chris Wallace or Megyn Kelly, refuses to let anyone else utter a word in his presence.

While catching hell for repeatedly lying about people being able to hang on to their health insurance and their doctors, Obama predictably accused others of “spreading misinformation, fear and cynicism.” One can only wonder if his Teleprompter has a reflective screen that doubles as a mirror.

Based on the fact that even some of Obama’s lap dogs in the media have joined the chorus calling him a liar, and that about a dozen Democratic senators appear ready to jump ship before the mid-term elections, it appears that hunting season for lame ducks is opening even earlier than usual.

Finally, when I recently saw a headline announcing that actress Michelle Pfeiffer admitted to having once belonged to a cult, I wondered at first why that was newsworthy. Then, reading on, I discovered that in her youth, she had joined a group of fanatical vegans, and not, as I had naturally assumed, the Democratic Party.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




“Republican Cannibals” and “Lower Forms of Animal Life”

The Catholic Church came up with the concept of excommunication. But as you may have noticed, such Catholic luminaries as the Kennedy clan, Nancy Pelosi, Dick Durbin and Joe Biden, all spent years promoting abortion on demand and nobody in the Catholic hierarchy even raised an eyebrow, let alone said anything about denying them communion.

However, let a Republican take two steps in any direction, and his fellow Republicans want him drawn and quartered. I’m not suggesting that we Republicans should follow the lead of our opponents and turn ourselves into robots. Frankly, I don’t know why Senate Democrats even bother going to work. Harry Reid not only decides how they’re going to vote, but even decides what legislation they’ll be allowed to consider.

I swear, Republicans don’t hate Democrats nearly as much as they hate one another. I have a group of readers who are always trying to organize a lynch mob, anxious to string up what they refer to as RINOs. Those are Republicans whose unforgivable sin is that they don’t agree 100% with them on every single issue.

Even the recent brouhaha over defunding ObamaCare caused more friction between members of the GOP than it did between them and Democrats. What they failed to acknowledge was that the fight wasn’t over an issue, but merely over strategy. They all agreed that ObamaCare was a disaster. The difference was that one faction decided it was worth decimating their ranks in a fight they couldn’t win, while the other side, insisting they alone had principles, were willing to create a hostile environment which might have terrible repercussions a year down the road when the GOP will be trying to hang on to the House and at least make a dent in the Senate.

Department of Homeland Security advisor Mohamed Elibiary had the gall to blast America’s Christians for holding the Muslim Brotherhood responsible for the attacks on Egypt’s Coptic Christians. Someday, someone will have to explain to me why anyone who is not only named Mohamed, but feels impelled to spring to the defense of a Muslim terrorist organization, is employed by this administration. After that, he can then explain to me how it is we have a president who is more comfortable sitting down with Iranian jihadists than he is with House Republicans.

Diplomacy is a con game posing as an art form. Hassan Rhuhani, the recently elected president of Iran, made his mark several years ago when he boasted that while he held the West at bay for two years pretending to negotiate a cessation of Iran’s nuclear program, the centrifuges continued to spin. But we see Obama and Kerry both pretending that diplomacy is the way to go. I guess neither of them is old enough to recall that when the Japanese hit Pearl Harbor, Japan’s diplomats were earning their salaries, expressing their peaceful intentions to FDR.

It occurs to me that perhaps a better name for what is now referred to as Intelligent Design might be Divine Design. Intelligence, after all, has its limits.

As most of you know, when it comes to books, I don’t read a lot of non-fiction. I prefer novels because I feel they are written by writers, not researchers; they are therefore concerned with style, pace and literature as an art form. Also, as a rule, they don’t regard epic length as a virtue.

But I just happen to have read a piece of non-fiction which I am happy to recommend. For one thing, I know the author of “Arguing for the Constitution,” Steven Maikoski. For another, I know he knows his subject matter, and, what’s more, he cares passionately about his subject.

I won’t deny that the book’s length, less than 100 pages, is no small part of its appeal for me. But keep in mind that the Constitution itself is a model of brevity. In an age when we take a 2,500 page health care bill in our stride, it’s worth noting that the Founders were not out to bury anyone in sheer verbiage. Unlike Nancy Pelosi, they fully expected people to read it before they signed it.

Finally, I find that when Obama gives a speech, I am, like a James Bond martini, shaken, but never stirred.

Lower Forms of Animal Life

Having spent a good deal of my life studying the behavior of politicians, particularly those in our nation’s capital, I have concluded that the Potomac River gives off noxious fumes. It’s the cause of the common malady known as Potomac fever. The usual symptoms are a loss of mental faculties, a diminished moral sense and a swelled head.

We’re all aware of the ways it affects the likes of people like Obama, Biden, Reid, Pelosi and John McCain. But even lesser lights exhibit signs of contamination. For instance, Jay Carney used to be a respected journalist, or at least as respected as a Time magazine reporter could possibly be. But once he went to work as a press secretary, he has learned to lie for a living. And not just once in a while, but every single time he finds himself standing at a podium.

Then there’s Marie Harf, who finds herself as the spokeswoman for the State Department. With her nasal delivery and her blind devotion to Obama and Kerry, she appears to be auditioning for the lead in “The Debbie Wasserman-Schultz Story.” The big surprise is that, generally, when you find someone who looks and sounds like a Valley Girl in such an elevated position, one for which she is clearly unsuited, you assume her last name would be Clinton, Pelosi or Schumer, not Harf.

Speaking of the State Department, an agency with an infinite capacity to take a terrible tragedy and make it worse, it has designated the Benghazi massacre a criminal act rather than an act of terrorism. By doing so, it has introduced so much red tape into the process that the Islamics who murdered four Americans are more likely to die of old age than to ever be executed. On the plus side, those virgins waiting for them will also be 50 or 60 years older.

Speaking of the criminal justice system, Barry Bonds, now that a federal appeals court has determined that he was indeed guilty of obstructing justice, will be punished to the full extent of the law. In his case, that means he faces 30 days of home confinement, two years of probation, 250 hours of community service and a whopping $4,000 fine. During his home confinement, Bonds is likely to find the $4,000 under the cushions on his couch.

Considering he was guilty of committing perjury while testifying before a Grand Jury, it sounds like the judges on the Court of Appeals did a little obstructing of justice of their own. Though, come to think of it, lying to a Grand Jury was what Bill Clinton did, and he still got to be president.

I am always trying to persuade wealthy Republicans like Sheldon Adelson and the Koch brothers to start swaying public opinion by buying up however many media outlets as they can afford. A liberal billionaire recently bought the Washington Post for $250,000,000. For a lot less money, conservatives could buy up local TV stations and newspapers, including Spanish-language dailies, and staffing them with conservatives.

I now have another better way for them to spend their money than on pinky rings and financing losing primary campaigns for the likes of Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum. It’s my idea that they should be saturating TV with ads demanding the Senate vote on ObamaCare. When you have the unions, large and small businesses and 60% of the voters opposed to the Affordable Care Act, you do everything in your power to force Harry Reid’s hand. Anyone who thinks the Senate Democrats who are up for re-election in 2014 will commit political suicide for a lame duck president is just plain nuts.

Finally, it was during the First Battle of Bull Run, also known as the First Manassas, that Thomas Jackson received his nickname when Brig. General Barnard Bee extorted his troops by shouting, “There is Jackson, standing like a stone wall.”

Although he’s faced no bullets or cavalry charge, Barack Obama, in his own way, has earned the same nickname. Unfortunately, in his case, he has done so by stonewalling on one scandal after another. In each case, starting with Operation Fast and Furious and proceeding through the IRS targeting of conservatives, the feds snooping on the AP and, worst of all, the Benghazi massacre and subsequent cover-up, he staved off criticism by insisting he couldn’t interfere in an ongoing investigation. Ultimately, he dismissed all of them as “phony scandals.”

I have come to realize that the major difference between “Stonewall” Obama and our dog Angel is that she does her business on the grass, while he does his on the Constitution.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




Please Don’t Shoot the Messenger

We hear it over and over again from conservatives explaining why Mitt Romney will win.  No president has won re-election with unemployment over 8 percent, they tell us, hoping the streak will continue this time around.

There’s just one problem.  It’s not true.

Franklin Roosevelt won re-election with unemployment not only over 8 percent, he won with unemployment at Depression Era levels of around 20 percent!

When FDR won the presidency in 1932, the unemployment rate was a staggering 23.5 percent.  A year later in 1933 it was 24.7 percent.  In 1934 it was just under 22 percent.  In 1935, for the first time in his presidency, unemployment dipped below 20 percent, but only to 19.97 percent.  And by 1936, when he ran for re-election, 16.8 percent of Americans still couldn’t find jobs.

So during FDR’s first term the unemployment rate ranged from a high of nearly 25 percent to a low of about 17 percent – and he still won re-election.

Then in 1937, 14 percent of Americans were still out of work.  In 1938, unemployment went back up to about 19 percent.  In 1939 it was 17 percent, and in 1940, it was down to 14.45 percent.

So at no point during his first two terms had unemployment gone below that 14.45 percent, yet Roosevelt not only won re-election, he was re-elected to a third term – the first time that had ever happened in the entire history of the United States.

So, all this talk about how no president can win re-election with 8 percent of Americans out of work is wishful thinking at best, nonsense at worst.

FDR had a few things going for him that might be worth considering as Election Day approaches.  First, he could blame it all on his Republican predecessor under whose watch the economy tanked.  Second, FDR connected with ordinary Americans.  In a word, they liked him.

Sound familiar?

Barack Obama has also said he inherited an economic mess.  It’s true that he didn’t do anything to make things substantially better and arguably made things worse.  Nonetheless, polls have shown that more Americans still blame George Bush for our economic doldrums than they blame Mr. Obama.

And even though many conservatives detest Barack Obama – as they did FDR — he scores high on likeability in the polls – and Romney doesn’t.

This may explain why, in the face of a sluggish economy that might be headed for a second recession, President Obama is still leading in most of the polls.  History may not exactly repeat itself, but it often rhymes, as Mark Twain once observed.

Don’t shoot the messenger.