Justice Requires No Modifiers

It’s been a while now since I addressed a Rotary Club here in L.A., but I still recall taking exception to a Jewish doctor in the audience when, during the Q & A session, he spoke up on behalf of social justice. I told him that once you start using adjectives to describe justice, you are in fact removing that all important blindfold from Lady Justice’s eyes. You’re making a case for a judicial system that’s weighted in favor of, say, blacks or Hispanics, women or gays. In other words, you’re arguing for a system that is the polar opposite of justice.

Unfortunately, that is exactly what Obama, Holder and the various race-hustlers who descended upon Ferguson, Missouri, were doing when they demanded “fair and impartial justice” for Michael Brown and his family, ignoring the irony involved in calling for Officer Darren Wilson’s head even before a grand jury had heard one minute of testimony in the matter.

In the Middle East, Israel has once again shown itself to be the world’s biggest stooge. Whether it’s settling in at the negotiating table, going through the motions of seeking a peaceful resolution with those whose sole purpose in life is to wipe Israel off the face of the earth; or waging war in hopes of a ceasefire, which constitutes nothing more than a temporary interruption of a permanent problem; they insist on making themselves look foolish to those of us who support Israel, while doing nothing to diminish the hatred of the world’s anti-Semites.

Speaking of anti-Semites, I’m reminded that in a recent poll, it was discovered that even after the beheading of American journalist James Foley, 16% of the French supported ISIS. And when those polled were limited to youngsters between the ages of 18 and 25, that number soared to 27%. And while it’s true that France is home to the largest percentage of Muslims in Europe, they only account for 7.5% of the population.

Here in the United States, for all the bowing and scraping that our politicians do when it comes to the followers of Islam, the Muslims constitute less than one percent of the population, I’m happy to report.

As my readers know, while I acknowledge that Ben Carson seems like a decent fellow, I see no good reason to promote a retired surgeon as a presidential candidate when we have the likes of Scott Walker, Mike Pence, Bobby Jindal, Ted Cruz, Paul Ryan and even Mitt Romney, warming up in the bullpen.

After his recent appearances with Chris Wallace and Bill O’Reilly, I have even stronger objections to his candidacy. I knew that some conservatives were cool to Dr. Carson because of his lukewarm defense of the Second Amendment, but I was willing to cut him some slack on that issue because I assumed he had been witness to a great many unintentional shootings during his years in the operating room. However, when he goes on TV to debate events in Ferguson with Jesse Jackson and winds up effusively praising him as a great civil rights leader when Jackson has shown himself over the past half century to be a race-baiter, a corporate extortionist and an adulterer, I’m no longer giving Doc Carson the benefit of the doubt.

Praising Jackson as a great civil rights leader would be tantamount to the travel industry giving Adolf Hitler a shout-out for being instrumental in getting millions of Americans to visit Europe during World War II.

Obama’s trained seals at the IRS now admit, thanks to Judicial Watch, that they can retrieve Lois Lerner’s emails, but that to do so would be onerous. I think we can all agree on that if by “onerous,” they mean terribly embarrassing to the Obama administration.

When Burger King decides to move its headquarters from the U.S. to Canada in order to lower its corporate tax rate from 35% to 15%, Obama berates the company for being unpatriotic. But perhaps, as with onerous, liberals don’t quite grasp the meaning of patriotism. It doesn’t mean, as Obama’s insult would imply, being stupid. Would he also label as unpatriotic those businesses and individuals leaving California, with its 10.5% tax rate, for saner sanctuaries in Arizona and Texas?

By the way, Burger King isn’t even an American enterprise. It’s owned by a Brazilian equity company. So the “Home of the Whopper” is actually Rio de Janeiro, although I’d say the White House could justifiably lay claim to the title.

In January, Obama dismissed ISIS as the junior varsity. He compared them to kids who don L.A. Laker jerseys and think that makes them Kobe Bryant. But, lo and behold, a few months later, they’re the ones gobbling up Syria and Iraq, crucifying Christians and beheading Americans. And in the meantime, without even running it by the U.S., Egypt and the United Arab Republic bombed Libya. So who’s the schmuck with the big 0 on the back of his jersey warming the bench today?

Finally, because it’s getting harder and harder to find something to laugh about so long as Barack Obama is running the country, Harry Reid is running the Senate and Mr. Ed is running the State Department, I’ll share an email I received the other day. It was a photo of Obama speaking at a podium, announcing: “It is finally time for me to talk about the beheading. So, my fellow Americans, I now be heading to the golf course.”

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
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©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

French Fried Potatoheads

As you may have noticed, France elected a new president named Francois Hollande. I’m delighted. It’s rare that a country and its president so richly deserve one another. France, after all, is a nation that sat by while its Muslim population set its cities afire because sharia law wasn’t yet on the books. Then, more recently, they had riots because their former president proposed that in order to save the economy, retirement age would have to be raised from 60 to 62. The fact that they might have to work an additional two years 40 years down the road was more than enough to send outraged 20-year-old Frenchies into the streets.

Keep in mind that they are already guaranteed two months of paid vacation every year. That means that over the course of four decades, that’s 80 months or nearly seven years they’re not punching a clock. So, in reality, it’s more like lifting the retirement age from 53 to 55.

But not to worry! Monsieur Hollande, a socialist who looks like a crooked accountant, has promised that France will not have to deal with such brutal austerity measures; which, translated from the French, apparently means working.

I guess, like the rest of Europe, he’s relying on Germany to keep his left-wing sluggards supplied with berets, bad coffee and stinky cigarettes. Still, if I recall my history, Germany doesn’t have unlimited patience with deadbeats. I’m not one to tell Hollande his business, but I sure wouldn’t want to appear too lackadaisical when it comes to repaying the Germans for borrowed euros. The guys they send to collect wear jackboots and make the Mafia’s bagmen look like Boy Scouts.

No sooner did our own socialist president create a firestorm by suggesting that he, not the Navy Seals, was singularly responsible for killing Osama bin Laden by delivering an address that, as usual, was filled with “I” and “me,” but, in announcing his decision to come out in favor of homosexual marriages, he referred to gay members of the military who are “fighting on my behalf.” Funny, but I thought, and I’m willing to bet they thought, they were fighting on America’s behalf.

It’s one thing for conservatives to accuse this palooka of being the biggest narcissist this side of a Hollywood diva, but quite another when he constantly reinforces the notion that he sincerely believes the world revolves not around the sun, but around himself.

If Barack Obama were a fictional character, he’d be funny in the way that the vain and stupid anchorman, Ted Baxter, was funny on the old Mary Tyler Moore Show or Major Frank Burns was on MASH. But when the schmuck is sitting in the Oval Office, his arrogance and general ineptitude are not nearly so amusing.

Frankly, I wish I could devote all my time to ridiculing Obama, but America’s other liberals keep diverting my attention. For instance, the Massachusetts legislature recently decided to outlaw bake sales. Taking their lead from Mrs. Obama, they decided that it would be criminal to encourage sugar consumption, even if it’s done in a worthy cause. Ask liberals which is worse, sugar or strychnine, and these dunces would have to take the question under advisement. But, apparently, what the New England nannies hadn’t counted on was Governor Deval Patrick putting the kibosh on the measure.

If not for Patrick’s sweet tooth, Massachusetts schools, churches and benevolent organizations, would have had to come up with other ways of raising money. One fellow who’s breathing easier these days is the guy whose job it would have been to tell those uppity Girl Scouts and their damn cookies where to get off.

Typically, about 10% of my email in an election year consists of angry conservatives insisting that there’s not a smidgen of difference between Democrats and Republicans. And no matter how many points of difference I list, they ignore the facts, preferring to wallow in their ignorance, while muttering obscenities about what they like to call the Republican establishment, a group of anonymous good-for-nothings that apparently includes everyone who isn’t them.

Because I have grown tired of trying to set them straight, I’ll quote a Boston fireman named Jim, who summed it up this way: “The Republicans are for the working man; the Democrats are for the non-working man.” Or, as an unknown source put it: “According to liberals, I’m supposed to be more worried about how Mitt Romney spends his money than how Barack Obama spends mine.”

Finally, my favorite moment of this election year occurred in the West Virginia Democratic primary when Obama garnered 58% of the vote and Keith Judd, otherwise known as inmate 11593-051, who’s serving a 17-year term in a Texas prison for extortion, received a whopping 42% without spending a dime on his campaign.

In related news, it’s rumored that Barack Obama is considering dumping Joe Biden as his running mate in favor of political phenom, Keith Judd.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com!

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Robert Gibbs Cursed at Michelle Obama?