Who’s the Boob?

Seth-McFarlaneI haven’t watched the Academy Awards in years and had no clue why Seth McFarlane was the host.  I don’t watch cartoons so I have no idea what “Family Guy” is all about.  That being said, the next day my news page featured several headlines about him and some stupid song he sang at the Awards show called “We Saw Your Boobs!”

Lots of tweets, lots of blogs, lots of this and that from all sorts of people being outraged about the song, some sincere, some feigned, I’m sure, but it caught my eye so I had to see what all the hoopla was about.

If you didn’t watch the show, you can see what I’m writing about here.

Two things came to mind when I saw it.

The song is so immature, sophomoric, foolish, stupid, juvenile and ridiculous (I’m running out of synonyms) that it could’ve been written by my 13-year old grand nephew but that would be insulting to him since he is a honor student.  If this is the quality of entertainment that is now presented at the Academy Awards, I know why I haven’t watched it in decades.  I can’t imagine Bob Hope or Johnny Carson doing a shtick like this, but I guess this type of crass humor is expected and, apparently, wanted.  (I read several comments noting this is “typical McFarlane, so the producers knew what they were getting.”)  I also think it reflects our society’s obsession with breasts.

The second thing that came to mind, and more interesting to me, is the “outrage” coming from women.  He’s being called “sexist” and “misogynistic,” and Jamie Lee Curtis called the whole thing a “cheesy vaudeville show.”  I’ve even read comments that the song was offensive because the scenes in which the some of the actresses were topless were rape scenes.  You’re telling me a rape scene cannot be portrayed any other way?  Seriously?  They dealt with the issues back in the 40s and 50s and it was handled quite differently and without any nudity.  Anyone remember the horrific rape scene in “Two Women” from 1960?

Here’s a typical comment from a real boob, Gloria Allred:  “It’s one thing to be topless and to have that in the context of the film, for a purpose in a particular scene for a particular reason. It’s another to take it out of context and just focus on women’s breasts.”  What a load of BS.  (Maybe she’s fanning the flames for some ridiculous class action lawsuit against Mr. McFarlane on behalf of all the actresses he mentioned.  It wouldn’t surprise me.)

Just about every cover of every magazine at the newsstands show actresses in plunging necklines, “side boob shots” or “wardrobe malfunctions.”  I’m convinced they crave and love the publicity.  Why would there be a red carpet at every one of these award events if the actresses didn’t want to show off their wares?

These actresses who are so “outraged” by this song voluntarily chose to take off their clothes and show their boobs in their films for money.  I’ve never once read a story that a gun was put to an actress’s head which forced them to remove their bras in front of the camera or that their paychecks were withheld.

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the outrage from theBritish royals after photos were taken of them they didn’t like.  I gave them some simple advice, “just put some clothes on!”  End of problem.

Here’s some advice to actresses.  If you’re willing to take your clothes off and, by the way, get paid very handsomely for it, why complain when someone points out they “can see your boobs”?  Don’t show them.  Simple solution.

I don’t get it, but if you do, God bless you.

Lawyers, Liars & Other Lowlifes

by Burt Prelutsky

As I’m sure you’re all aware, Gloria Allred, the preeminent media whore and left-wing dirty trickster, has recently garnered the spotlight by trying to scuttle Meg Whitman’s chances of defeating Jerry Brown in California’s gubernatorial race.

Ms. Allred, who may actually be brought up on ethics charges by the California Bar for placing her client in legal jeopardy by exposing her as an illegal alien guilty of perjury and forging official documents, has long carried on like the worst sort of used car salesman. For good measure, Allred shows her true colors by referring to her client not as Ms. Diaz, but as Nicky. When is the last time that you heard an attorney call a client by his or her first name, unless the client was Madonna or Cher?

The things I know about Ms. Allred are not the sort of things she includes in her resume. Some years ago, for instance, Allred, who regards herself as a gallant feminist who has carved out a career fighting alleged male sexism, hosted a party for a group of women she was then heading up, at Chippendale’s, the male strip club. When word got out, a number of her most ardent supporters condemned her as a hypocrite.

On another occasion, she was one of the lawyers my then wife hired to handle our divorce. One morning, while we were waiting to enter the courtroom, Allred and a male associate walked over to the bench where my wife and her 12-year-old daughter were seated. After they were introduced, Allred turned to the child and said, “Lily, you’re very attractive. Have you considered modeling as a career?”

Do you think if a prominent male had made such a patronizing, sexist remark, Allred would have let it pass or would she have rounded up as many TV cameras as she could and publicly condemned him as a chauvinist pig for suggesting the child rely solely on her looks instead of her brains?

Finally, to show you what an absolutely despicable human being she is, when she was a single mother, she married Mr. William Allred. That was in 1968. It was he who paid her way so that she could attend law school and become an attorney in 1975. In 1987, they got divorced, and the guy wound up having to pay her alimony.

In the passage of time, Mr. Allred went to jail for fraud. When he got out, his financial resources greatly diminished, he petitioned the court for a reduction in his alimony payments. Even though he had made her career possible by paying for her education, and even though she was by then earning a handsome living, she fought him tooth and nail.

As I recall, there is a certain circle in Hell, described by Dante, that is reserved for people who not only bite the hand that’s fed them, but kicks their benefactors in the teeth for good measure. I’m willing to bet that there’s a deep, dark cellar in that particular circle that’s reserved for Ms. Allred.

Another person whose character seems to consist entirely of a pathological egotism is our president. For my part, I am not only sick and tired of listening to that self-absorbed donkey braying 24/7 on the tube, but I’ve had it up to here with those damn shirtsleeves.

God knows I’m no fashion plate, but I’m just me and he’s supposed to be America’s commander in chief, the leader of the free world.

I used to think it was hilarious when Las Vegas entertainers like Tony Bennett and Steve Lawrence would pretend that singing was the equivalent of shoveling coal by undoing their bowties halfway through a performance. But at least they were working up a sweat under those hot lights. Obama, on the other hand, shows up in his shirtsleeves even when all he’s doing is reading from his teleprompter in an air-conditioned auditorium.

In a country with nearly 10% unemployment and a deficit that’s not only burying us, but our children and our grandchildren, is this arrogant mug actually trying to get our sympathy? I’m afraid he’ll have to settle for our contempt.

Of late, rumors are floating around that if his approval numbers continue to tank, Hillary Clinton will challenge Obama for their party’s nomination in 2012. At first blush, one can imagine thinking that anyone but Obama would not only be an improvement, but could work as a campaign slogan. However, we should all keep in mind that Mrs. Clinton not only tried to push through HillaryCare when her husband was up to his usual monkey business in the Oval office, but more recently charged Arizona with human rights violations at the U.N., this putting it on a par with China, Iran and North Korea.

In short, she is every bit the loony lefty that Barack Obama is. In fact, there are only two real differences I’m aware of; one, he’s 50% blacker than she is and, two, she manages to keep her jacket on during working hours.

©2010 Burt Prelutsky

Write to: BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Top Ten Least Favorite Events of Election 2010

If you’re like me, I love election season.  I’m not a sports fan, so I don’t ever cheer for a home team.  Election time is the only time I get to root for my guy or gal.  I’m sure many have had enough of the political ads including the parents of my 3-year old grand nephew, Cameron, who’ve had to listen to this little guy repeat “I approve this message” over and over.  And, of course, those, when polled, who answer “no opinion,” can stick their heads back in the sand. 
With just a few days left, lots can happen between now and Election Day but I thought I’d take this time to look back over the past few months and come up with my list of the ten least favorite moments of this campaign season. 
#10 The nomination of Tea-Party candidate, Christine O’Donnell, for Senate in Delaware was not one of the high points as far as I’m concerned.  I was hesitant to include her in my list because I really like her and I’m sure she would vote exactly the way I would.  Unfortunately, with so many things hanging in the balance right now, it was imperative the GOP select a candidate who could actually win the seat.  I don’t like RINOs like Michael Castle but, in his case, I think I would’ve made an exception for the sake of gaining a majority in the Senate and hoped for the best. 
#9   Of course, the numbers aren’t in yet, but from all the polls it looks like another mid-term low youth voter turnout.   It’s mind-boggling that every person who can vote doesn’t.  I see President Obama on John Stewart’s comedy show and hosting a “town hall meeting” on MTV trying to rally his base to vote.  Why would anyone have to be “rallied” to go out and vote to keep these clowns in Congress?  Those who support the President’s far-left agenda should know Republicans/Tea Party Movement/ Conservatives are energized to vote and stop Obama in his tracks. 
#8   I don’t like Joy Behar, a regular on “The View.” Period.  I don’t think she’s funny and, as I’ve said numerous times, I would rather set myself on fire than watch an entire episode of the show.  I’m used to her vulgar rants, but her latest about Republican Sharron Angle, running for Harry Reid’s Senate seat in Nevada, goes beyond the pale.  One of Ms. Angle’s recent ads addresses Harry Reid’s voting record to give illegal aliens Social Security benefits, tax breaks and college tuition.  Not only does Behar think Ms. Angle is a racist and is “going to hell,” but she called her a “bitch” not once but twice on The View. By the way, Ms. Angle reportedly had a banner day of fundraising, the day of Behar’s rant, raising $137,000. 
#7   Just this week, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals struck down a portion of Proposition 200, passed by the Arizona electorate, which required proof of citizenship in order to register to vote.  The attorney for the plaintiffs was elated and said, “This will enable the many poor people in Arizona who lack driver’s licenses and birth certificates to register to vote.”  Fortunately, the deadline to register this year has passed, but this looks like an open door to give voting rights to illegal aliens unless further action is taken.       
#6   Left-wing sugar daddy, billionaire George Soros, donated $1 million this week to support California’s initiative to legalize marijuana.  His op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal explains his position.  I’m against legalizing marijuana, but I’ll save that for another day.  Right now, Californians can expect to see lots of ads in the coming days in favor of Proposition 19, thanks to Mr. Soros. 
#5   Just in time for Election Day, liberal attorney Gloria Allred has exploited Republican gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman’s former housekeeper, Nicky Diaz, by parading her in front of every news outlet available and getting her to read a written statement (obviously written by Allred or her staff) about how horrible and abusive it was to be employed by Ms. Whitman for nine years.  Turns out Ms. Whitman was duped into believing Nicky was legally in this country when she hired her through an employment agency.  I wonder how many other people would think being paid $23 per hour was horrible and abusive?  Someone in Jerry Brown’s camp calling Ms. Whitman a “whore” ranks along side Allred’s shameless behavior. 
#4   In my opinion, Alan Grayson, Florida’s Democratic Representative is probably one of the most despicable characters on Capitol Hill at the moment.  Over the years, he’s made numerous vile statements but his attack ad against his opponent, Daniel Webster, is just disgraceful.  He likens Mr. Webster to the Taliban and uses his Biblical quotes about women completely out of context. 
#3   My state of Washington is one of the few states in the country which has no income tax and we should be proud of that fact.  Well, not according to some, like the elder Bill Gates, Sr., for example, who supports Proposition 1098 to enact a state income tax.  Supporters claim it will affect only individuals making $200,000 or couples making $400,000 and that it will fund education.  If it passes, those who think it will only apply to the “rich” will learn in two years Olympia can include them. 
#2   Duane Hammond, union member, hired to build a stage for President Obama at a campaign stop for Barbara Boxer, was first told to remove his hat and then told to either go home or turn his shirt inside out because he was honoring our military.  That’s right, because his hat and shirt bore the name, “USS George H.W. Bush,” the name of an aircraft carrier on which his son serves! So, for being a patriot and  proud father, he was told to go home by his liberal union supervisor.  Is there no end to the left’s intolerance?    
#1   And in the top spot are President Obama’s comments during an interview with Eddie “Piolin” Sotelo, Spanish-language Univision radio personality. Here’s what he had to say when questioned about immigration reform and encouraging “Latinos” – not all Americans, by the way – to vote: 
“And if Latinos sit out the election instead of saying, we’re gonna punish our enemies and we’re gonna reward our friends who stand with us on issues that are important to us, if they don’t see that kind of upsurge in voting in this election, then I think it’s gonna be harder and that’s why I think it’s so important that people focus on voting on November 2.”
So, Mr. Obama, in other words, anyone who doesn’t agree with you on an issue is your enemy, is that right?  I guess you really didn’t mean it when, as the keynote speaker at the 2004 DNC Convention, you said, “there is not a liberal America and a conservative America — there is the United States of America. There is not a Black America and a White America and Latino America and Asian America — there’s the United States of America.”  I didn’t believe you then, and, from what I see these days, you didn’t believe it either. 
Whether you enjoy election time, can’t wait until it’s over or just don’t care, get out and vote!