Is Hillary in Trouble? Can Bernie Pull Off the Impossible? Is America Going Nuts?

Hil, Bern, DonThis is the headline that ran over a National Review story: Juanita Broaddrick Still Haunts Hillary Clinton

Juanita Broaddrick, in case you don’t know, is the woman who accused then Arkansas Attorney General Bill Clinton of raping her in a Little Rock hotel room, a charge, for the record, that through his lawyer, Clinton has denied.

Just a few weeks ago Ms. Broaddrick sent out a tweet about the incident. “I was 35 years old when Bill Clinton, Ark. Attorney General raped me and Hillary tried to silence me. I am now 73. . . . it never goes away.”

This is more than a tad inconvenient for Mrs. Clinton, who recently sent out a tweet of her own. “Every survivor of sexual assault deserves to be heard, believed, and supported,” it said. Does that include Juanita Broaddrick?

Yes, National Review is a conservative publication that might find the Hillary angle too good to pass up, but the New York Times is a paper that’s not exactly hostile to liberal Democrats. Here’s the headline on a story the Times ran about Mrs. Clinton’s troubles with one of her key – if not her most important — voting blocs: ’90s Scandals Threaten to Erode Hillary Clinton’s Strength With Women

Right after the Times story, the Washington Post ran another about Mrs. Clinton, under this Q & A headline:  Who had the worst week in Washington?  Hillary Clinton

Then there’s the headline on a Wall Street Journal op-ed: Hillary Is in Big Trouble

The first sentence in that piece explains why. “Presidential races are about the future and Hillary Clinton is stuck in the past.” Fred Barnes, who wrote the op-ed, explained. “This year, angry voters have turned increasingly to populist, anti-establishment and future-oriented candidates. As a status quo candidate, she doesn’t fit the moment.” Besides, she’s a lousy campaigner.

On the same day as the Hillary is in trouble piece ran in the Journal, the lead editorial in that paper read: Taking Sanders Seriously

“It’s time to take Bernie Sanders seriously,” the editorial began. “The Vermont Senator is leading in Iowa and New Hampshire and in Sunday’s debate he sounded for the first time like a candidate who thinks he can win. He still isn’t the favorite against the Clinton machine, but it’s no longer impossible to imagine the 74-year old as the Democratic nominee.”

So is Hillary really in trouble? Should we really take Bernie seriously?

Normally, the smart money would say no and no. But nothing is normal this year in politics. Who thought Donald Trump would still be around this late in the game? Who thought there’d be a good chance he’d win the GOP nomination? And who thought Sanders might beat Hillary in Iowa and New Hampshire let alone just might be the party’s nominee.

What’s crazier than all that is how so many Americans actually do take Bernie Sanders seriously. If President Sanders got his way, he’d do what socialists always do: He’d run out of other people’s money and wreck the economy. Somebody’s got to pay for all that free stuff he’s promising to give away.

He’d start with higher taxes on the billionaires he detests. But even they don’t have enough money to pay for all of Bernie’s handouts. Free stuff is expensive. So the middle class likely would be next in line for a tax hike. And if President Sanders would never let that happen, we’d go so far into debt that we’d never come out of it in one piece.

I know.  It’s beyond crazy.  The American people are too smart to ever elect a guy like Sanders, right?  Don’t bet on it.

According to a Wall Street Journal/NBC poll conducted between January 9th and 13th, a whole lot of people really are taking Bernie seriously.

Here’s the question registered voters were asked: “If the election for president were held today, and Donald Trump were the Republican candidate and Bernie Sanders were the Democratic candidate, for whom would you vote?

Only 39 percent said they’d vote for Trump. But get this: 54 percent said they’d vote for Sanders. (Five percent said they’d vote for neither or someone else, 1 percent said it “depends,” and another 1 percent weren’t sure.) Yes, more than half the registered voters polled would elect a nutty socialist over a loud-mouthed capitalist. Hey, who doesn’t want a free college education and lots of other free goodies – as long as somebody else is paying for it?

Polls this far out don’t mean much, of course. And I’m guessing Bernie will fade after New Hampshire. But I thought Trump would fade a long time ago. This time around, given the mood of the electorate, anything is not only theoretically possible but could actually happen.

Which brings to mind that old curmudgeon H.L. Mencken who famously said: “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”

Don’t shoot your humble messenger. I’m not insulting anybody. All I’m doing is quoting the misanthrope who said it. But just between you and me … he’s right.

Gnomes In The News

I recently saw a photo taken during a September event called the People’s Climate March in New York City. There was Jane Goodall in the front rank holding a couple of stuffed toy monkeys, thus making herself more readily recognizable to caption writers who might not otherwise recall that she spent a large portion of her life eating, sleeping and hanging out, with gorillas.

Apparently nothing much has changed because there she was linking arms with such primates as France’s Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio and none other than the king of the chimps, Al Gore.

I would say that Ms. Goodall enjoyed better company in the old days. But you could readily see why some people are convinced that apes and people are closely related. Looking at De Blasio and Gore, you would almost swear they’re human.

Another name that’s been in the news lately is Bill Cosby, who has cancelled some TV appearances because he doesn’t wish to be asked about the rape accusations that have been hurled his way by a number of women. Frankly, I have no way of knowing if he sexually assaulted all of them or any of them. But what I do know is that back in the 1970s, a friend of mine was Cosby’s publicist and on more than one occasion, when I was in my friend’s office, Cosby, who was already a husband and father, would phone from wherever he was finishing up a gig – often Tahoe or Vegas –to say he was coming to town and to line up some women.

That doesn’t make him a serial rapist, but it does explain why I never bought the wholesome Cosby image used to peddle Jell-O and family values to a gullible public.

Speaking of women, I think someone needs to point out to Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton and Valerie Jarrett, that politics is a rough and tumble game. If you can’t take it, perhaps you should take up macramé. What you don’t get to do is play the game and also referee, tossing a penalty flag for sexism every time you’re forced to play defense. Perhaps if you weren’t so personally offensive, it wouldn’t be necessary. It would also help if your notion of sexism was based on gender and not politics so you didn’t always turn a blind eye to it or even participate when its victims were Republicans like Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann.

Is it just me or is everyone sick and tired of hearing about glass ceilings being shattered every time some left-wing female sneezes? I mean, this is 2014, for god’s sake. In case you haven’t been paying attention, women have been ruling nations and commanding armies for centuries. The list includes the likes of Cleopatra, Queen Elizabeth I, Joan of Arc, Mary Queen of Scots, Catherine II, Queen Victoria, Indira Gandhi, Benazir Bhutto, Golda Meir, Margaret Thatcher and Angela Merkel.

For years now, I have regularly been receiving a June, 1920 quote attributed to H.L. Mencken of the Baltimore Sun: “As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folk of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last and the White House will be occupied by a downright utter fool and complete narcissistic moron.”

The people who pass it along to me obviously know my opinion of Barack Obama. What they don’t seem to grasp is that the source of the quote obviously had the same elitist contempt for his fellow Americans, whom he identified as boobs, that we’ve now seen time and again from Prof. Jonathan Gruber.

For another thing, Mencken finally fell out of favor, even with the boobs, when he made his affection for Adolf Hitler a little too obvious in the 1930s. And, finally, at the time he wrote those lines, the President was Woodrow Wilson and in a few months would be Warren G. Harding, two of the very worst rodents to have ever planted their rumps in the Oval Office. So, far from being prescient, Mencken was seemingly unaware of what was taking place right under his shnoz.

As for Obama, whom I grant is even worse than Wilson and Harding, in defending his use of executive action to defer the deportation of illegal aliens, he said he had to do what he had to do because Congress wouldn’t do what he wanted. However, for five years, he was telling Hispanic groups that he lacked the constitutional authority to do the very thing he is now threatening.

And because most congressional Hispanics have their lips glued to Obama’s butt, they never asked why he didn’t simply pass legislation during his first two years in office, when the Democrats had a stranglehold on the House and Senate.

But, then, my fellow Jews in Congress never confront Obama over the fact that at the same time he spits on Israel, he invariably plays up to Muslims and Arabs, both here and abroad.

Clearly, at least for Jewish and Latino Democrats, an essential part of the congressional initiation process is voluntary neutering.

By now, we all know that the unemployment rate has become a joke. All people have to do is drop out of the labor market in order to make an 11% unemployment rate appear to be a mere 5.8%. But recently, a poll disclosed that 40% of women, 28% of men and 39% of young people, don’t even want a job. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that 93% of all adults (86 million people) who aren’t in the work force don’t wish to be in the work force. And so long as Uncle Barack is willing to redistribute wealth by taxing those who are working to subsidize those who aren’t, that number will only keep growing.

Once the Republican mission in Congress goes from stopping Obama in his tracks to actually doing something to reverse America’s decline, they will have to do something about programs that feed, clothe, house and hospitalize, the able-bodied.

That also includes the millions who have committed fraud in order to receive monthly disability checks. If I were in charge, I would send an inspector to the home of everyone collecting one of those checks. And unless the recipient could prove what particular disability he’s afflicted with, the inspector would be authorized to hit him with a sledge hammer, thus legitimizing his claim.

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

“The Out-Box” and “Ah, Sweet Mysteries of Life”

Because simply keeping track of all the absurdities that make our lives so troubling makes my in-box expand to its breaking point, I occasionally have to clear it out. So consider this a spring cleaning.

For openers, I would suggest that in the wake of the spineless administrators at Rutgers uninviting Condoleezza Rice to deliver this year’s commencement address, it’s time for conservatives to quit behaving like Charlie Brown, who never seems to catch on that Lucy Van Pelt is going to snatch away the football just before he kicks it. In the future, conservatives should insist on a $50,000 cashier’s check when they agree to speak at a college. If they get to say their piece, the check is returned to the college. Otherwise, it gets cashed.

It’s high time that the academic cowards face actual consequences when they cave in to the demands of CAIR, the NAACP or some campus group representing left-wing albinos, and pull the welcome mat out from under their guest speakers.

Moving on, too many people are dying because the FDA not only takes too many years to green light new drugs, but refuses to allow the terminally ill to at least try experimental cures. It seems to me that if you only have a few months to live, so long as you sign a release guaranteeing that no ambulance-chasing shyster is going to come after the manufacturer or the FDA if the drug fails to save you, a person should be free to try anything, however unlikely it is to prevent his demise.

Speaking of death, in 2009, Barack Obama swore to cut through the red tape and get our military veterans the health care they deserve. Considering his track record, it should come as no surprise that the backlog at the V.A. hospitals has only gotten worse over the past five years. But, then, has the troll in the Oval Office ever delivered on a promise, aside from his vow to destroy the coal industry?

Whether it’s involved lowering the cost of healthcare; capturing and punishing those who murdered four Americans in Benghazi; letting us keep our doctors and our health insurance; or removing Syria’s vile despot if he crossed a red line; one must assume the schmuck goes through life with his fingers crossed.

Moreover, the Liar-in-Chief claims that the GOP’s refusal to raise the hourly minimum wage from $7.25 to $10.10 is one more example of Republicans waging war on the middle class. This twerp has spent so much time in the company of millionaires and billionaires that he actually confuses the middle with the bottom. While it is true that, thanks to his economic policies, a lot of people have seen the American Dream morph into the American Nightmare, even Obama should understand that the middle is not defined by those making between $15,000 and $20,000-a- year.

As repulsive as Obama is, his acolytes are no better. When discussing the recent disclosures regarding Benghazi on the Fox panel show “The Five,” Bob Beckel, channeling his inner Hillary Clinton, started hollering and banging his pudgy fists on the table, insisting that nobody cares what happened there.

Because it drew attention to the show, I assume Beckel’s boss, Roger Ailes, immediately gave Beckel a raise and extended his contract. For my part, the embarrassing performance left me wondering if Beckel, the ex-alcoholic, had perhaps tripped over his tongue and fallen off the wagon.

Someone sent me a takeoff on an old advertising campaign, but instead of American Express, it was for something called the Race Card, and instead of Karl Malden, it was none other than Barack Obama endorsing it: “I sure love my Race Card. It comes in handy whenever I find myself in a mess I’ve made. I just whip it out and, voila, the mess is ignored. Plus there’s no limit on how many times I can use the Race Card. So don’t leave home without it.”

The campaign has been so successful that Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Elijah Cummings and Eric Holder, would never dream of leaving home without theirs.

Speaking of which, Jeri Wright, daughter of Reverend Jeremiah Wright, was recently found guilty on 11 counts, including money laundering, embezzling from charities and lying to federal agents. I’d love it if someone asked Reverend Wright how it feels to have a few of his own damn chickens coming home to roost.

I would be remiss if I didn’t thank the two men who have sponsored my weekly webcast for over a year. At a time when liberals can pressure colleges into uninviting anyone they disagree with; homosexuals can use the courts to put bakers, florists and photographers, out of business; and people like Jesse Jackson can extort money from companies by threatening them with boycotts; I think it behooves conservatives to reward those with the courage to sponsor a conservative loudmouth like myself.

Therefore, I would like to voice my appreciation to Mike Carmolinga, owner of Lulu’s, a wonderful, moderately-priced, restaurant here in the San Fernando Valley, and 82 year old Tom Tinney, who specializes in buying and selling precious metals. He has three stores in Phoenix and two in Connecticut, but he also conducts business online at

They’re my sponsors, but they’re also my friends, and I just happen to think that their loyalty and their good sense should be rewarded by like-minded people.

Finally, I saw a photo of Jay (“I’m not really Pinocchio, we just talk alike”) Carney. He was standing in front of a sign that read “WHITE HOUSE” on the top line, with “WASHINGTON, D.C.” just below it. But because his head was blocking the right side of the sign, it read “WHITE” on top, “WASHING” below.

I contend that never before, at least under the current administration, has a job description been spelled out as clearly as that.

Ah, Sweet Mysteries Of Life

It’s a very weird world when the degenerates who populate the Muslim world can condemn our society as degenerate, and be right. After all, you don’t have to be a prude to consider our movies; our rap music; our insistence in turning teenage icons into false idols; our pretense that same-sex marriages are the same, if not better, than the traditional variety; our dependence on illegal, as well as prescription, drugs; our corrupt politicians; and our pathological fascination with pornography, to conclude that America is experiencing a moral decline that rivals that of ancient Rome.

It certainly helps explain why we elected Barack Obama and then, in spite of a stagnant economy, a decline in American power and prestige, an unrivaled series of scandals and a life style financed by our tax dollars that reminded some people of 18th century French royalty, we re-elected him.

As if all the changes wrought by the Affordable Care Act weren’t bad enough, I had already been aware of what I refer to as the Sleep Apnea Racket. It so happens that I suffered from the condition in which one stops breathing periodically during the night and begins kicking one’s feet. When my wife first called it to my attention, I found it hard to believe that I could carry on like a Radio City Rockette and not wake myself up. Still, I had noticed that I was getting very sleepy by mid-afternoon, so I decided to visit a doctor.

He sent me to be tested at a local sleep clinic, where I discovered that I was unable to fall asleep with all those electrodes attached to me. So I got off the cot at 4 a.m. and drove home. But not before the technician insisted that I had in fact fallen asleep and, sure enough, I had sleep apnea.

When I went back to see the doc, I gave him the full report, but added that I was willing to assume that my wife wasn’t making it up, and therefore I wanted to know my options. He said that I had three choices. I could either have surgery performed on my nasal passage, making it easier for me to breathe; I could try sleeping with an oxygen mask on my face; or I could try losing some weight.

So I lost some weight and my wife assured me I was cured. There was no more kicking, no more struggling to breathe.

However, when it came time to buy a new life insurance policy, it seems I was expected to pay a premium because sleep apnea was on my medical record. But in order to prove I was cured, I had to be tested. So I went to a different sleep clinic, figuring that perhaps I would be able to fall asleep under different conditions.

Apparently, the conditions weren’t different enough because once again I failed to sleep. This technician, however, also insisted that I had dropped off and, what’s more, announced that I was still suffering from the dreaded apnea.

It is therefore my belief that no sleep clinic ever tells anyone the truth. And why would they? Without an endless supply of the walking dead, they’d be out of business. No vampires, no future in being vampire hunters. I mean, it’s not as if the insurance companies, which make a bundle off sleep apnea, whether real or alleged, are going to blow the whistle on the con artists in white smocks.

You may have seen the female members of the Congressional Black Caucus calling for military action and even the use of drones to kill the Muslim thugs who abducted the black school girls in Nigeria, something they’ve never done when the victims were merely Christians or Jews. By the way, it’s worth noting that while she was still Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton refused to identify Boko Haram, the Islamic gang responsible for the crime, as a terrorist group. But, then, again, I’m sure her response today would be, “What difference, at this point, does it make?”

And considering that the overwhelming majority of America’s 1.4 million gang members, who commit 50% of the violent crime in our country, reside in the districts the women of the Black Caucus and their male counterparts represent, you would think they’d at least call for appropriate federal action to wage war on those vermin who victimize the decent law-abiding, members of the black community.

The U.S. State Department, which rivals the IRS and the EPA when it comes to shaming itself, is listed as a “cultural partner” of the 24th Abu Dhabi International Book Fair. Among the best sellers on display, both in English and Arabic, are such page-turners as “Mein Kampf,” “The International Jew” and the ever-popular favorite of anti-Semites everywhere, including, I’m sure, those entrenched at the State Department, “The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion.”

Finally, I have long pondered why American parents continue to believe that their children all belong in college. It was pathetic enough when there were actually jobs awaiting those who had majored in liberal arts. But today, when the likeliest doors such a degree is likely to open is the one leading to a career flipping burgers or the one to their parent’s basement, you’d think everyone would acknowledge that it makes far more sense to learn a trade than to waste four years majoring in Black, Hispanic or Lesbian Studies, or listening to liberal professors prattle on about the evils of the free market, religion and America.

Along those lines, I’d like to share a joke that’s gone viral on the Internet. It seems Bubba went to a state university on a football scholarship. He was a great running back, but a terrible student.

Come Graduation Day, Bubba didn’t have enough credits to warrant a sheepskin, but his fellow students, who had no doubt recently staged a demonstration demanding that Condoleezza Rice, Ayaan Hirsi Ali or Clarence Thomas, be uninvited to give the commencement address, staged yet another, demanding that Bubba’s gridiron exploits be rewarded with a diploma.

Predictably, the dean, who lacked the spine to stand up to an organized pout, announced that Bubba would first have to answer a single question.

Come Graduation Day, the auditorium was packed to the rafters when the dean called Bubba to the stage. “Answer this one question correctly,” he said, “and you graduate. Are you ready?”
“Is that the question?”

“No, Bubba. The question is: How much is three times seven?”

Bubba gazed up at the ceiling, then down at his shoes. Finally, when the tension was as thick as Bubba’s head, he said, “I think the answer is…twenty-one.”

A hush fell upon the auditorium…and then, after emitting a collective groan, the students shouted: “Give him another chance.”

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

“Seeking Answers” and “Hey, Dude”

H.L. Mencken, who was referred to as “The Sage of Baltimore” by people besides H.L. Mencken, at least until he shared his Nazi sympathies, at which point they began referring to him as “The Loony Tune of Baltimore,” once observed that “For every complex question, there is an answer that is simple, obvious and wrong.” And every day, the left-wingers in Congress and the Oval Office prove how right he was.

Whether the question revolves around how best to deal with health care, Vladimir Putin, Islamic jihadists, the economy, environmental zealots, the IRS, the Veterans Administration or racist thugs like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson and Eric Holder, the current administration, against extraordinarily long odds, somehow manages to be wrong every single time.

One of the problems with our society is that we insist on corrupting the language in order to promote some fool’s political agenda. So, for example, we are all supposed to use the term “gays” even though there is no legitimate reason for “homosexual” to be regarded as offensive, as would be the case with, say, “fag” or “queer.” If “heterosexual” is perfectly acceptable in polite society, why not the other?

An even goofier example is “African-American.” In common usage, it means that some black man who was born and raised in Detroit and a fellow born in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, but now living in New York City, neither of whom ever got within three thousand miles of the dark continent, are both African-Americans, but a white guy born in Johannesburg and now living in Cleveland, isn’t.

I think some people choose not to believe in God simply because they prefer ignoring the possible repercussions if He actually exists. After all, nearly everyone would like to believe he or she is a moral human being or at least fool others into thinking so. But we have all seen what happens to people such as Donald Sterling when their dirty little secrets become grist for the public’s mill. And I continue to believe that a great deal of the anxiety surrounding the secrets possibly collected by the NSA can be traced to people’s fears that their reliance on the Internet to fuel their porn addiction might someday become public knowledge.

But if God is omnipresent and omniscient, nobody’s secrets are really safe. Therefore, if some folks are ever going to get another good night’s sleep, the solution is to convince oneself that God is nothing more than a pipedream, no more real than Rumpelstiltskin or the Easter Bunny.

In their desperate attempt to hang on to the Senate, the Democrats continue to push for raising the minimum wage from seven bucks and change to $10-an-hour, ignoring the fact that very few employers are going to fork over $400-a-week to a person doing a job that a monkey could be trained to handle.

Because liberals know that as well as I do, they play up the argument that people can’t raise a family on $7-an-hour, ignoring the fact that a minimum wage was never intended to support anyone, least of all a family. Instead, it was solely intended for high school and college kids, who were expected to come away with a few dollars in their pocket, along with a few life lessons involving what it takes to get a job, do a job and keep a job, at least through an entire summer vacation. Nobody was ever encouraged to think of it as a career.

What will Obama do next? Encourage teenagers to unionize and demand their parents raise their allowances to $10-an-hour?

I am not always in agreement with Sen. Rand Paul, but I certainly agree with him when it comes to his bill calling for the U.S. to cut off financial aid to the Palestinians, who recently joined forces with the terrorist group known as Hamas. Ironically, the bill died in the Senate, not because of Harry Reid for once, but because it was opposed by the American Israel Public Affairs Committee. It seems that AIPAC, a major lobbying group for Israel, believes there is a good reason to continue funneling our tax dollars to those out to exterminate Israel and who aren’t that crazy about us.

There in a nutshell is the reason, verging on a phobia, behind my reluctance to join groups. By and large, I have found them to be governed by their lowest common denominator, individuals I wouldn’t trust to pick out my socks.

And, no, in case you were wondering, I am not only referring to those groups led by the unsavory likes of Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell, Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner.


I was delighted that by a 5-4 margin, the Supreme Court recently decided it was constitutional for city governments, such as the one in Greece, NY, to open its public meetings with a prayer. It’s not that I’m religious, but I am always happy to recognize and praise commonsense on those rare occasions I encounter it.

Speaking of the Court, I wrote a letter to Chief Justice John Roberts a couple of months ago. I was waiting for him to respond before sharing it, but he seems to be preoccupied with other matters, which, I suspect, includes dealing with Sonia Sotomayor’s hissy fits. Boy, talk about your sore losers!

“Dear Chief Justice Roberts: By way of introduction, I am a conservative who has spent nearly two years defending your shocking vote on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act.

“As I saw it, your vote, which gave your daffy colleagues a 5-4 margin of victory, was dictated by a number of things having nothing to do with its constitutionality. One, having seen the consternation over Roe v. Wade and the Court’s ruling in George Bush’s favor in the 2000 presidential election, you didn’t wish to embroil the Court in yet another controversy, one that would overturn legislation passed by the majority in the House and the Senate, even though the vote was along strictly partisan lines.

“For another thing, you were well aware that the 2012 presidential election was just a few months off, and you decided that if ObamaCare was as unpopular as it appeared to be, the people would elect Mitt Romney and perhaps a GOP majority in the Senate, and they would quickly move to repeal it.

“I would appreciate it if you would either confirm or deny my theory. I hope I haven’t misjudged you during all this time, and that you didn’t really believe the bill was constitutional in spite of the very thing that Obama and the Democrats denied it was; namely, a tax.

“And as long as I have your attention, who exactly would have the necessary standing to bring Obama’s three dozen arbitrary – and unconstitutional – changes to his signature piece of legislation before the Supreme Court?

“Keep up the usually good work. Regards, Burt Prelutsky”

A reader of mine wondered if Barack Obama gave a speech in the middle of the woods and there was nobody there to hear it, would he still lie? My guess is that he would, or if he was otherwise occupied on the golf links, Jay Carney would lie for him. Their motto, after all, seems to be “practice, practice, practice.”

Abubakar Shakar, the leader of Nigeria’s major terrorist group, which recently kidnapped over 250 school girls, has made a video on which he announced, “I abducted your girls. I will sell them in the market, by Allah.”

In the meantime, the man Obama recently invited to the White House and is proud to call a friend, the Sultan of Brunei, just announced that he is introducing Sharia Law in a nation where 20% of the population is not even Muslim. Therefore, we can soon expect to hear that infidels by the truckload are being stoned to death, along with adulterers, homosexuals and, no doubt, anyone caught reading a book, painting a picture or practicing the Meringue.

I realize I’m asking for a miracle, but wouldn’t it be swell if just once some Muslim, any Muslim, would say or do something decent in the name of Allah?

When ex-White House spokesperson Tommy Vietor paid a visit to Bret Baier’s “Special Report,” and was asked about the role he played in changing the talking points about the Benghazi massacre, which laid the blame for the deaths of four Americans on some silly video, he feigned forgetfulness and then, under Baier’s prompting, explained, “Dude, we’re talking about two years ago.”

It should be pointed out that Vietor, he of the short attention span, started out driving the press van for Senator Obama, and apparently did such a great job of parallel parking that President Obama couldn’t wait to make him the mouthpiece for the National Security Council. To be fair, I suppose when a 33-year-old is still calling himself Tommy, instead of Thomas or Tom, you have to expect he’s going to still be calling grown-ups “Dude.”

On the other hand, Obama, who’s in his 50s, never refers to “people,” “ladies and gentlemen” or, God forbid, “my fellow Americans.” With him, it’s always “folks.” It’s his typically heavy-handed way of pretending that, in spite of all the pricey vacations that he and the missus take on our dime, and all the time he spends hobnobbing with the superrich at his non-stop fund raisers, he’s really just another regular guy. Or “dude,” if you prefer.

Although, I think “dud” is more like it.

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Mariano Rivera For President

If you’re not a baseball fan, you might not know who Mariano — Mo to his friends, fans and teammates — Rivera is. He is the closer for the New York Yankees, the fellow they’ve been calling on since the mid-90s to protect leads in the late innings. Nobody has ever come close to being as good at what he does as Rivera. This past season, as he’s announced his retirement, every team the Yankees have played against has honored him. Even the Boston Red Sox gave him testimonials and gifts. Several teams have given him checks for his foundation. And every member of the opposing teams has stood and applauded the man and his accomplishments.

But Mo deserves it. In addition to displaying unmatched talent for 17 seasons, he has performed under the largest spotlight in baseball with grace and humility. When people ask how this native of Panama has been able to pitch the way he has even into his 40s, he credits God first and foremost, and then mentions his family, his teammates and the Yankee organization.

When I saw him recently on TV making his farewell appearance at Yankee Stadium, I found myself wishing we had someone of his caliber in the Oval Office. Can anyone even imagine a Republican having a good word to say about Obama, who ran as a great uniter, but has spent five years demeaning the loyal opposition, accusing them at various times of being racists, obstructionists and traitors?

What I don’t understand is how Obama gets away with arbitrarily postponing the Affordable Health Care mandate for business owners. Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi keep telling us ObamaCare is the law of the land, but Obama keeps ignoring the embarrassing parts of it. According to the Supreme Court, ObamaCare is legal because they decided it’s a tax, the very thing Obama spent two years denying it was. But if it’s a tax, where does Obama get off insisting that only some people have to pay it?

It may not have been noticed in some places, but Obama, Biden and Hillary Clinton, all stayed away from Margaret Thatcher’s funeral. However, Obama sent an official delegation numbering 14 when socialist dictator and all-around swine Hugo Chavez was laid to rest.

Although I rarely disagree with my friend Bernie Goldberg, he recently devoted an article to comparing the civil rights of gays to the religious rights of Christians. Bernie was entering the fray on behalf of gays, who had been denied wedding cakes and floral decorations by evangelical business owners who oppose same-sex marriages.

He pointed out that such marriages are now legal in several states, and that takes precedence in a nation of laws. I have a different take on things. One, I happen to think that if someone is willing to forego the profit, he should have the same right to withhold service as storeowners who refuse to deal with shirtless or shoeless customers.

In addition, there are always florists and bakers who would be only too happy to supply cakes and flowers, so it is hard for me to imagine that the homosexual couples wanted either as much as they wanted to create problems for those whose religious beliefs offended them.

Moreover, it doesn’t seem that long ago that I was reading about Muslim taxi drivers who were allowed to refuse rides to people carrying packages out of liquor stores and blind people if they were accompanied by their Seeing Eye dogs. It just seems to me that Christians shouldn’t have fewer religious rights in America than Muslims.

Recently, someone sent me a list of high-profile shootings. Starting in 1865, we had a Democrat named John Wilkes Booth killing Abe Lincoln. In 1881, a left-wing radical shot James Garfield. In 1963, a socialist shot John F. Kennedy. In 2010, a registered Democrat named Jared Loughner shot Rep. Gaby Giffords and killed six others. In 2013, a registered Democrat named Adam Lanza shot and killed his mother before killing 26 others at a local school.

The point being that guns don’t kill people; left-wingers kill people.

In closing I will quote H.L. Mencken, who wrote: “The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false face for the urge to rule it” and Mark Twain, who observed: “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

For my part, whenever I find myself in that unlikely position, I demand a recount.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write