The Fat Lady Is Practicing Her Scales

I don’t think there is any way to overestimate the importance of the mid-term elections. Although I wish I could view the world through non-partisan eyes, Barack Obama and Harry Reid have conspired to make that impossible. I’m just hoping that a sufficient number of Americans come out of their collective coma before the fat lady has a chance to warble “Nearer My God to Thee” at this nation’s funeral.

The trouble is that we have a president who seems to lie awake nights trying to come up with new ways to destroy America. For openers, he is terrified — partly because of his liberal base and partly because of his own questionable background — to be confrontational towards the Islamists who are enthusiastically waging war on us and our allies. So even as he does the right thing in Iraq by trying to prevent the barbarians from exterminating Christians and Kurds, he keeps assuring those who are out to create a caliphate that we are limiting our response.

His defenders like to say that he is thoughtful and deliberate, seemingly slow to act only because he is so concerned with nuance, so profoundly aware of the possible consequences of taking action. What makes that analysis so comical is that when Hamlet behaved exactly the same way, most people wrote it off as pathological indecision at best, cowardice at worst. It’s also worth noting that, thanks to Hamlet’s constant dithering, everyone is dead by the end of Act V.

For anyone who is curious what this impending caliphate would look like, they merely have to consider the fact that these savages are beheading children; turning captured women into sex slaves, much as the Japanese did during World War II; and committing genocide with a relish unseen since the days when Nazi Germany was running its gas ovens 24/7.

Instead of doing everything in his power to defeat pure evil, Obama prefers to remind us that Bush’s war in Iraq was a disaster. He happens to be right, but for the wrong reason. The war was a blunder not so much because we waged it or because we failed to find weapons of mass destruction, but because George Bush insisted that our actual mission was to bring democracy like a gift box of chocolates to that misbegotten land, and because he kept repeating the moronic message that Islam is a religion of peace as if he were a parrot gone berserk.

I do not believe that the majority of Americans are as weary of war as they are of squandering billions of dollars and thousands of military lives in the naïve hope that at the conclusion of hostilities, our sworn enemies will like us, when the aim should be that they, along with every other potential foe, fear us.

I believe that if Obama unleashed our full military might on the Islamic State or whatever these creeps are calling themselves this week, and turning the sand these monsters stand on into glass, most Americans would stand up and cheer.

I also believe that it is time that our politicians quit pretending that there are good Muslims and bad Muslims. A good Muslim is someone like the non-Muslim Meriam Ibrahim, who barely escaped a hundred lashes and death by hanging, who was condemned as an apostate, but who refused to deny her Christian faith. A bad Muslim is everyone who clapped and danced on 9/11 and who, in his heart of hearts, takes pride in every act of violence by a fellow Muslim perpetrated on Christians, Jews and anyone else labeled an infidel by his vile religion.

To me, it seems that there are only two groups of peace-lovers in the entire Middle East. Those would be, one, the Israelis and, two, the members of the Iraqi military, who shed their uniforms and tossed away their American-supplied weapons as soon as they were confronted by the blood-lusting vampires heading towards Baghdad.

Finally, the moment you’ve been waiting for, especially if you’re one of the 389 readers who cast votes in my latest poll, which asked for your personal choice to be the 2016 GOP presidential candidate.

To begin with, I want to apologize to those of you who took me to task for leaving Dr. Ben Carson off my original list of 16 potential candidates. It was an innocent oversight. I had actually caught it a few hours after putting the list together, but I forgot to alert Steve Maikoski, the brilliant fellow who manages my website. I did let him know the morning of the posting, but by that time the article had gone out to those who subscribe to my blog. Fortunately, I had that possibility covered because, along with the 16 names, I had left a place for “Other.”

Even though I had specifically asked for a single name and no commentary, some people couldn’t resist explaining their vote. A few others felt they couldn’t narrow it down and insisted on naming two or three candidates. Those people received a curt message that read: “One man, one vote. This ain’t Chicago, bub!” Without exception, they saw the light and re-submitted a single name.

As I have pointed out in the past when polling my readers, I make no pretense that I’m doing what the likes of Pew and Gallup do. I am not breaking my responders down by religion, gender, income, region or age. But I do believe my readers represent a cross-section of Republicans, whether they lean right to the Tea Party side of the GOP or to the Libertarian left. By and large, even those who damn what they call the Republican establishment would prefer a presidential candidate with an (R) after his name to Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, Elizabeth Warren or anyone else branded with a (D).

I must confess that I found the results surprising, in some cases extremely so. Speaking personally, I confess that I was buoyed both by how well Governor Walker polled and how badly Senator Rand Paul did.

Far and away, the top six vote-getters were: Scott Walker, 79 votes; Ted Cruz, 58; Trey Gowdy, 57; Mitt Romney, 44; Ben Carson, 41; and Rick Perry, 31.

The only others to receive double digit support were: Bobby Jindal and Sarah Palin, each with 14 votes.

Marco Rubio garnered 9 votes, Paul Ryan received 8; Mike Huckabee got 6, Chris Christie, 5; Jeb Bush, 4; Mike Pence, Susana Martinez and Rand Paul, 3; Rick Santorum tied me with 2; Donald Trump, John Kasich, Allen West, John Bolton, Nikki Haley and Mike Lee, 1.

I can’t speak for any of my competitors, but when I see that in spite of not having spent a dime on TV spots and not having visited Iowa or New Hampshire even once this past year, I am essentially running neck and neck with Rubio and Christie, and leaving the likes of Trump, West and Bolton in the dust, I have no choice but to officially toss my hat in the ring.

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©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




“Life In These United States” and “A Disaster of Biblical Proportions”

Barack Obama says more dumb things in a day than some people say in a lifetime. For instance, regarding the shutdown, he said: “The House Republicans are holding the government hostage.” I know that Obama isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer and that he has only a passing relationship with the Constitution, but someone should tell him that the House is a part of the government, no matter how he feels about it. So, were we to take him at his word — always a bad idea! — the House Republicans would be guilty of holding themselves hostage.

One always hears that the president, whoever he may be, commands the bully pulpit, but only under Obama has it been changed into something that could better be called the bully’s pulpit.

I, for one, am getting sick and tired of hearing Obama constantly going on about the needy. In Obama’s case, he is forever referring to them when he’s pushing the Affordable Care Act. For three years, he’s been telling us one whopper after another about this god-awful piece of legislation cobbled together by Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi (think Dr. Frankenstein and his assistant, Igor).

He told us that if we liked our doctor and our health insurance, we could hang on to both. He also told us that ObamaCare would not only insure an additional 30 million people, but it would save the average family $2,500. Not even Bernie Madoff would have ever expected anyone to swallow a lie that big. But, as they proved last November, most American voters have very large gullets and no more brains than a herd of sheep.

It is true that the cost of health care will go down for some because of government subsidies. But those subsidies don’t come out of Obama’s pocket, they come out of yours if you pay taxes. So not only will you be paying more for your own health care, but you will be paying for millions of people who will show their appreciation for your generosity by continuing to elect Democrats who will continue to bribe them with your money. What a deal!

The sorry truth of the matter is that most of the neediest people in America are actually the greediest. Just the other day, I was standing in line with my wife at a fast food joint. The two guys in front of us, both of whom wore their pants below their butts, kept comparing wads of twenty dollar bills. I could only assume they made the money mowing lawns. However, when they bought their burgers, they used one of their food stamp credit cards.

The next day, I was at the drug store buying batteries. Again, I had a young fool ahead of me using one of those cards to pay for his purchases. The sad fact, though, is that he had a bigger fool standing behind him than I had standing in front of me. After all, I had helped pay his tab, he hadn’t paid mine.

Obama is now trying to pressure the Supreme Court to put a limit on what people can contribute to political candidates. He spoke of the democratic ideal being tainted by wealthy radical elements. Funny how that didn’t seem to bother him when he still had elections to win. Can we all say George Soros? You can’t get much wealthier or more radical than that old Hungarian commie who learned all about the redistribution of wealth when he helped the Nazis confiscate Jewish property in Budapest.

I have to fess up to a mistake I’ve made more than once. For the past year, I’ve been ruing the fact that Mitt Romney received fewer votes in 2012 than John McCain did in 2008. I must have seen numbers prior to the final tabulation. In any case, I don’t like to spread a falsehood if I can help it. While it’s true that Obama’s own numbers dropped about 3.5 million between 2008 and 2012, Romney did garner roughly a million more votes than McCain.

That reminds me, people, especially Republicans, keep wringing their hands and telling us that we might as well disband as a party because young people, single women, blacks, Jews, Hispanics, Asians and the mass media, all despise the GOP. And although I am not well-suited to play Pollyanna, the fact remains that Obama did lose those 3.5 million votes in his second election, something no two-termer had ever done in the past. In addition, whereas in 2009, the Democrats had super majorities in the House and the Senate, four years later they have five fewer Senate seats, have lost control of the House, and, what’s more, the lion’s share of governors are now Republicans. If anyone should be hitting the panic button, it’s the Democrats. And whether or not, they ever get the glitches out of those damn computers, ObamaCare is shaping up to be the disaster the Republicans all said it would be when Obama jammed it through Congress without a single Republican vote.

In case you hadn’t heard, Carrick High School in Pittsburgh decided to have a Trayvon Martin theme day as part of school spirit week. Some parents were upset when they got the news that their kids were being encouraged to wear hoodies on Trayvon Martin Wednesday. I’m assuming they will be even angrier when they hear the kids will be encouraged to sell drugs and steal from each other’s lockers on Trayvon Martin Thursday and Friday.

In other news, future Hall of Famer Chipper Jones, who played his entire 20-year career for the Atlanta Braves, was invited to toss out the first ball of the National League Division Series. But because he had committed the mortal sin of predicting that the L.A. Dodgers would take the best of five game series in four games, none of the Atlanta players, including his former teammates, would volunteer to catch the pitch. As a result, Jones was forced to pitch to the team’s mascot, a cartoonish character with a humongous head shaped like a baseball. The kicker is that the Dodgers won the series in four games. Perhaps Atlanta should have had the mascot suit up in place of one of their overpaid punks.

Finally, wrapping up the news of the day, a prosecutor in Houston filed aggravated rape charges against a 10-year-old girl who had been spotted by a neighbor touching a four-year-old boy in what they’re referring to as “his private area.” In other words, it’s now a felony to play doctor.

I’m no lawyer, but it seems to me that the charge should have been practicing medicine without a license.

A Disaster of Biblical Proportions

Over the past couple of years, I made a couple of prophecies. The first was that in spite of Obama’s threats, Bashar al-Assad would remain in power longer than Obama would. The second was that although America could probably survive another four years of Obama, I doubted if the nation could survive an electorate that would re-elect him. Nothing I’ve seen in the intervening months since last November has caused me to change my mind.

Apparently, according to polls, even if the Republican House agrees to fund everything but ObamaCare and Obama then shuts down the government in a fit of pique, the majority of voters will hold the Republicans responsible if their Social Security checks are a week late. I mean, just how dumb are we as a nation?

Everyone, including the Catholic Church, labor unions and business owners and their employees, hate ObamaCare, but the voters are ready to punish the GOP in the 2014 elections if they try to kill the damn thing.

I used to just suspect that people got the leaders they deserve. Now I know it for a fact.

Even the United Nations, which helped Al Gore create the hoax known as global warming, has finally come around to admitting that the earth is not heating up. But that’s not going to change anything at this late date. For liberal politicians, there’s simply too much money and power up for grabs by maintaining the farce. For corrupt scientists, there are simply too many grants and department chairmanships up for grabs by pretending that anything other than the sun determines temperatures on earth.

Hell, if the various hucksters could see a way to bamboozle the rest of us, they would dig up the Piltdown Man and once again display him as the Missing Link. He, too, it should be remembered was “settled science” for about 40 years.

One thing you have to say about Pope Francis is that he knows how to grab headlines. In his latest attempt to steal attention away from Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus, he announced that the Church should stop “obsessing about gay marriages, abortions and contraception.” Instead, he wants to focus on social issues. Funny but I thought those were social issues. But apparently His Holiness has a lot in common with Obama, otherwise known as His Schmoliness, and seems to think his divine mission is to oversee the redistribution of wealth.

The more I hear from Pope Francis, the more certain I am that I’ve stumbled across Hillary’s running mate in 2016.

Aaron Alexis, who murdered a dozen innocent people at the Navy Yard, claimed in the weeks before the massacre that he was hearing voices giving him orders. He was pretty sure the voices were coming out of his microwave. It made me wonder if that could help explain Obama’s bizarre behavior. But in his case, I suspect the voice he hears is that of George Soros, who merely looks like a microwave.

I find that I am already sorry that the mayor’s race in New York City didn’t go the way I was hoping. For 12 years, Michael Bloomberg provided the rest of the country with one laugh after another. I am convinced the laughs would never have stopped if only New Yorkers had seen their way clear to electing Anthony (“I’ll show you mine if you let me show you mine”) Weiner.

Instead, we have to rely on Obama to keep us chuckling. But the way the media protects this cluck, we’re not only being deprived of our laughs, but of a few straight answers. For instance, why is it that nobody has asked him why, if Assad’s use of poison gas on a thousand Syrians was a sin of biblical proportions, how it was that when George Bush attacked Saddam Hussein, who had used the same stuff to kill tens of thousands of Iranians and Iraqi Kurds, he deserved to be impeached and tried as a war criminal?

Question: What do Mel Gibson, Laurence Olivier, Richard Burton, Kenneth Branagh, Richard Chamberlain, Ian McKellen, Kevin Kline, John Gielgud, John Barrymore, Edwin Booth and Barack Obama, have in common? Answer: They have all portrayed Hamlet. But none have equaled Obama’s mastery of the role. The others, after all, merely had to memorize the lines and repeat them for a few hours. But as we’ve all seen, with his talk about red lines and his threats about the inevitable consequences, followed by his calls for congressional support, followed by his plea for the United Nations to do something, anything or nothing, he has made the role his own. This schmuck doesn’t need to parrot Shakespeare’s lines; he is Hamlet.

For those who’d say he’s not a convincing Danish prince, not a manly and commanding presence like Gibson, Burton and Barrymore, I’d hasten to remind them that at times the role has been performed by the likes of Sarah Bernhardt and Judith Anderson.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.