High Noon in Hollywood …

KimFor the past few days I’ve been thinking a lot about who bothers me more – the little psycho with the $2 haircut who runs North Korea or the liberal weasels in the entertainment industry who don’t have the guts to say, “Hey Kim, bite me! We’re running the movie about you … and if you do not like it too @#$%^ bad! ”

You want to know what a whack job Kim Jong-un is? He committed this great big cyber attack on Sony over a dopey movie starring Seth Rogen and some other guy whose name I already forgot. If Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep were the stars of “The Interview” I might understand what got the Pillsbury Dough Boy in Pyongyang so mad. Memo to dictator with a few screws loose: Lighten up. It’s a comedy!

You know who Kim reminds me of: all those liberal twits on American college campuses who have instituted speech codes and punish offenders for telling jokes that are deemed, by the little sissies, as “inappropriate.”

Which brings us to the crowd who will never be confused with profiles in courage.

Let’s start with those feckless, sniveling crapweasels hiding under your desks at Sony, as Jonah (no relation) Goldberg refers to them.   They decided not to premiere their film as planned on Christmas Day, fearing the North Koreans would release even more embarrassing emails if they didn’t deep six the movie.

Then Sony people said they wouldn’t release the movie at all because theater owners refused to show it, after threats were made that there’d be another 9/11 if the movie ever saw the light of day.  Just before Christmas Sony announced that several hundred theaters said they’d show the movie.  But they were mostly the “art” type movie houses.  The big theater chains were by and large playing it safe.

Their lawyers couldn’t possibly believe that North Korea had that kind of juice. But lawyers being lawyers said, “To hell with freedom of speech and all that crap. We’ll get sued if anything bad happens.”

Let’s be generous and say they have a point. This being the United States of Litigation, you just know there’d be a lawsuit if some moviegoer so much as got a kernel of popcorn stuck between his teeth while watching the film. An actual attack in retaliation for running the movie would cost the theaters gazillions. But as I say, North Korea doesn’t have the juice to set off bombs in movie houses in the United States.

And what about the bigger Hollywood community — you know, the pious Hollywood community that never tires of telling us that by making “courageous” films they’re the ones who keep the torch of freedom burning in America (but would rather drink Drano than work with a conservative) – and who think “edgy” means making fun of right-of-center values.

Well, superstar George Clooney sent a petition around to the Hollywood glitterati asking them to stand strong in the face of extortion and intimidation from North Korea. Here’s part of the petition:

“This is not just an attack on Sony. It involves every studio, every network, every business and every individual in this country. That is why we fully support Sony’s decision not to submit to these hackers’ demands. We know that to give in to these criminals now will open the door for any group that would threaten freedom of expression, privacy and personal liberty. We hope these hackers are brought to justice but until they are, we will not stand in fear. We will stand together.”

How many signed? Try none. Zero. Clooney was Marshal Kane in High Noon, who couldn’t find even one courageous friend to help him fight the bad guys. Clooney, like Kane, found out that everyone in town was scared – scared not of killer gunslingers, but of a bunch of North Korean nerds who might hack their emails, which would cause more angst when we found what some producer said about some actor. Gasp!

And these are people who genuinely believe they’re brave.

I don’t agree with President Obama often, but I agree with what he said at his news conference about Sony. “I am sympathetic to the concerns they faced, having said all that, yes I think they made a mistake. … We cannot have a society in which some dictator someplace can start imposing censorship here in the United States. Because if somebody is able to intimidate folks out of releasing a satirical movie, imagine what they start doing when they see a documentary they don’t like or news reports that they don’t like or even worse, imagine if producers and distributors and others start engaging in self censorship because they don’t want to offend the sensibilities of somebody whose sensibilities probably need to be offended. That’s not who we are. That’s not what America is about.”

Good for President Obama. We needed to hear that from him. Better late than never, I guess. But if he had spoken up earlier, if he had encouraged Sony and the big theater chains not to back down, that probably would have changed the script and Sony and Hollywood wouldn’t look as bad as they do. But that’s the view from the rear view mirror.  The question now is, how does the president respond?

He could take the advice of the Wall Street Journal, which said “the U.S. government [should] pay Sony Pictures for the rights to ‘The Interview’ and release the movie for free into the public domain. The comedy about an assassination attempt on Kim Jong-un could then be seen by the world and translated into Korean, loaded on USB sticks, and floated into North Korea by balloons.”

Balloons are okay, but if I were the Secretary of Getting Even in the Obama Administration, here’s what I would do: I’d get the best computer minds in Silicon Valley to figure out a way to run “The Interview” – with all the dialogue dubbed in Korean – on every TV set … in North Korea! And I’d make sure we put enough gizmos in there so Kim and his gang couldn’t stop it.

I know, brilliant. Thank you.

Then I’d put the part where Kim gets vaporized and his head explodes on a loop that goes on for a couple of days. I’d also run a warning in big Korean type over that scene: “Laughing at your psychopathic leader can be dangerous to your health.”

That would be one way America could tell the little creep in Pyongyang to stuff it.

As for the little creeps in Hollywood: Do us a favor. Stay under your desks. Your sanctimony bores us. And your cowardice embarrasses us – at least those of us who live east of the Pacific Coast Highway.

Liberal Hypocrisy

We all know that when it comes to hypocrisy, the Left holds the copyright. For instance, take Hollywood. If there are two things that those in the entertainment industry are always ready to promote, it’s public education and the sanctity of unions. In truth, however, none of them have their kids in public school. If they even thought about it, their friends and colleagues in the industry would accuse them of child abuse.

Speaking of education, I found it fascinating that in a recent poll, 93% of Chicago’s public school teachers rated themselves superior or excellent. This is in spite of 45% of students dropping out of high school. I bet Chicago’s kids wish the teachers graded them as generously as they grade themselves

As for unions, why do you think so many movies and TV shows are shot thousands of miles away from Hollywood and Vine? The obvious answer is that they pack their bags in order to keep the costs down by shooting in Canada and in right-to-work states. But, then, even Michael Moore, who passes himself off as a proud member of the proletariat, avoids hiring union members to work on his movies, thus saving more for Moore.

Pinheads like Juan Williams, aka Barack Obama’s bitch, took umbrage when Newt Gingrich suggested that food stamps provide Democrats with a convenient way to buy black votes. Liberals inevitably point out that more white people than black ones dine on the taxpayers’ dime. However, the 800-pound gorilla they choose to ignore is that while 78% of the population is white and only 12% is black, the number of whites receiving the stamps is only twice as many. In other words, if the percentage of whites was equal to the percentage of blacks, instead of 46 million people dining on the taxpayers’ dime, there would be close to 80 million freeloaders at the trough.

Last year, when the Democrats were trying, as usual, to raise taxes, they kept trying to embarrass Republicans by asking if they would agree to a deal if for every dollar in additional taxes, they, the Democrats, agreed to cut spending by $10. It was all a scam. For one thing, no self-respecting left-winger would ever actually agree to cut taxes. For another, a question I never heard asked is why if you cut spending, there’s any reason on earth to increase taxes.

Five weeks before the presidential election, a Pennsylvania judge ruled that the state’s law requiring a photo I.D. was constitutional, but that it couldn’t take effect until after November 7th. Judge Robert Simpson, just possibly Homer’s idiot brother, said it wouldn’t allow people enough time to get the photo. I wonder how long he thinks that takes. He also didn’t explain why if Pennsylvanians really cared about voting, they hadn’t taken care of business long before now, knowing, as they did, that the law had been passed and might very well take effect before the election.

This boneheaded decision merely confirms my prejudice against people who get to wear their bathrobes during working hours.

Yet another recent example took place in Massachusetts, where a judge ruled that a convicted murderer was entitled to become one with his inner woman by having the state pay roughly $40,000 for a sex change operation. On Fox, perennial ditz Lis Wiehl, yet another schlemiel with a law degree, weighed in to say she agreed with the decision because to deny him the operation would be a violation of the 8th Amendment, constituting cruel and unusual punishment. Coincidentally, that pretty much describes how I feel every time I see her pontificating on The Factor.

Mitt Romney came in for a firestorm of criticism for suggesting that 47% of Americans paid no taxes and, moreover, regarded themselves as victims. By inadvertently including those who depend exclusively on Social Security, a program into which all of us have to contribute, he slightly over-estimated that number. But that doesn’t contradict the fact that 58 million people receive more in benefits than they have ever paid in, and, moreover, I’ll wager the ingrates regard themselves as victims of the system.

It struck me recently that this administration continues to act the role of a befuddled middleman, borrowing billions of dollars from the likes of China in order to pass it along to our sworn enemies in Egypt, Pakistan and Afghanistan. If they’re going to be that casual with our money, I suggest we follow their lead and write the IRS an IOU next April 15th.

Speaking of money, two black guys in Illinois were arrested a while back for stealing $50,000 from Team Obama’s slush fund.

Although I don’t make it a rule to defend thieves, I think it’s a gross miscarriage of justice to prosecute them. The way I see it, Willard Elam and Jessie Adams were merely taking a page out of the Obama playbook and redistributing the wealth.
©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Hollywood & Politics

Burt hopes you’ll also enjoy his take on the first Presidential Debate .

There was a time, as my wife, who is a TCM addict, keeps reminding me when there was no more patriotic place on earth than Hollywood. It wasn’t just that such super stars as Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable and Tyrone Power, enlisted in the military; that others volunteered to entertain the troops through USO shows and appearances at the Hollywood Canteen; while major film directors, such as John Houston, Frank Capra, George Stevens and John Ford, turned their talents to turning out military training and propaganda films. It was also true that Hollywood’s moguls, including Louis B. Mayer, Jack Warner and Daryl Zanuck, churned out pro-American, anti-Nazi, movies by the gross. It provided potent punch at the box office, but it also served to keep American morale high even in those early years when we seemed to be losing the war.

Today, as you may have noticed, when Hollywood deigns to make a war movie, America’s soldiers, more often than not, are depicted as the bad guys.

This turnaround makes sense when you realize that nearly everyone engaged in writing, directing or appearing in movies today, is a left-winger. Although they’d insist they are as patriotic as those who made movies in the past, they simply can’t get past their anti-American mindset. For them, Obama is the perfect president. He opposes gun ownership, deplores capitalism and denies American exceptionalism, while simultaneously voicing his approval of same-sex marriages, Islam and the U.N.

There are a few exceptions in Hollywood. They are mainly those working below the line, as drivers, carpenters and stunt men. Among the few recognizable names are Jon Voight, Kelsey Grammer, Morgan Brittany, Gary Sinise, Patricia Heaton and, of course, Clint Eastwood. That’s why it hurts me to say that I wish Eastwood hadn’t shown up in Tampa. It merely served to remind me that even icons get old. I wasn’t too surprised that what was supposed to be a five-minute interlude morphed into a 12-minute snoozearama. But, then, Eastwood never was one to turn out a 90-minute movie when he could spread it out over two and a half hours.

I do commend him, however, for coming up with the whimsical notion of smacking down an empty suit sitting in an empty chair.

In the aftermath of the GOP convention, I heard some people worry that if Romney failed to deliver on his promise of 12 million new jobs, it could come back and bite him in 2016, the way that George H.W. Bush’s vow of “no new taxes” killed him in 1992. I don’t think so. It’s one thing to promise not to raise taxes and then raise them, as opposed to promising to deliver 12 million jobs and falling short by a million or two. Frankly, I could deliver 12 million new jobs by simply lowering taxes, taking the federal boot off the neck of the oil and coal industries, repealing ObamaCare and cutting the EPA down to size.

In spite of the mass media being in the tank for Obama, I frankly think they’re hurting themselves more than they’re helping the Democrats. For one thing, even left-wingers have finally begun admitting that the media is openly biased. For another, when newspapers and the major networks keep promoting the lie that the economy is getting better in spite of what is obvious even to small children, they have lost all credibility with moderates and independents.

As Mark Twain once pointed out, people who ignore the media run the risk of being uninformed, whereas those who depend on it for their news are nearly certain to be misinformed.

It’s impossible for me to get inside the heads of those who even at this late date are wishing that by some miracle, Ron Paul would wind up being the GOP nominee. That’s because inside those heads it is very dark, very small and very badly ventilated. I mean, here’s a 77-year-old guy who desperately wanted to be the president for the next four or eight years, but can’t be bothered to serve one more term in the House, where he could work to move along Romney’s agenda.

Frankly, it amazes me that there is anyone outside an asylum who would think that Obama deserves a second term in the Oval Office. To my mind, it comes down to: “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I must have stinkweed for brains.”

Calling Obama’s fans sheep is probably unfair to sheep, a remarkable animal that provides mankind with everything from wool to lamb chops. They should probably be called the Stepford electorate, a bunch of lobotomized zombies who have been programmed to smile vacuously while voting for any dunce with a (D) after his name.

Finally, getting back to Hollywood, it’s not merely a community or even an industry, it’s a state of mind or, rather, mindlessness, where people are judged not by what they actually do, but merely by the left-wing talking points they repeat ad nauseam.

These people will call you a racist if you oppose Obama, but will dismiss the remarkable likes of Thomas Sowell, Allen West and Condoleezza Rice, as Oreos. They will hold fund-raisers promoting something as silly and faddish as same-sex marriages, but say nary a word about the 70% illegitimacy rate that plagues black communities.

But, perhaps worst of all, they fail to see a disconnect between trying to get people like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh kicked off the air and celebrating a bottom-feeding pornographer as a courageous defender of the 1st Amendment in “The People vs. Larry Flynt.”

Liberals will always go to the ramparts in defense of free speech, just so long as the subject under attack is female genitalia or Islamic terrorism and not conservative values or religious principles.

©2012 Burt Prelutsky. Write to BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Burt hopes you’ll also enjoy his take on the first Presidential Debate .