“Illegal Aliens Are What They Are” and “Moral Equivalency & Other Fallacies”

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans when it comes to illegal immigration is that the Democrats stand to benefit from increasing the Hispanic vote. But both are equally guilty when it comes to not stemming the invasion. Otherwise, we would hear the Republican politicians demanding that a huge wall be erected along our southern border, instead of parroting Obama’s call for comprehensive immigration reform (aka amnesty).

The problem is that folks on both sides of the aisle want to privatize the profits to be accrued from cheap labor while socializing the costs. If we were serious about solving the problem, we would, one, stop subsidizing illegals with free health care, free education and free food; and, two, we would fine and jail anyone responsible for hiring them. And I’m not just referring to smalltime outfits that hire a few guys to help out on construction jobs, but the folks who own the hotels and restaurants where these people are making beds and busing tables.

Obama wants Congress to help him bring what he refers to as “the best and the brightest” to the United States. If he’s referring to those illiterates sneaking across the border, perhaps he’s auditioning for a career as a stand-up comedian. Until now, I had assumed he kept his sense of humor concealed in the same vault where he’s concealed his birth certificate, his early travel visa and his college application.

The EEOC, like every other federal bureaucracy under Obama, has over-stepped its authority by constantly filing lawsuits against companies that insist their employees speak English.

But, then, there is no government agency that I wouldn’t like to see either diminished or eliminated altogether. What’s more, I would see to it that no government bureaucrat, be it at the city, state or federal level, ever received another bonus. What do they ever do that deserves one? It certainly can’t be for working overtime. As we all know, anytime you show up at one of those offices after closing time, whether it’s at 4:01, 4:31 or 5:01, you’ve found the doors locked and the lights off.

Speaking of federal agencies, I bet no conservative in America was surprised to hear that our State Department was far more incensed over the killing of one Arab youngster than it was by the killing of three Jewish teenagers in Israel. What’s more, Israel arrested six suspects in the murder of Abu Khdeir after a couple of days, whereas the Palestinians not only haven’t made any arrests in the murders of Eyal Yifrah, Gilad Shaar and Naftali Fraenkel, after a few weeks, but aren’t likely to in the next fifty years. But it’s only Israel that is ever condemned by the weasels at the U.N. and the anti-Semites who infest academia and the media.

It seems that Hillary Clinton, who is pinning most of her political hopes on carrying a large majority of the single woman vote, once, as a 27-year-old lawyer, defended a creep who beat and raped a 12-year-old girl. Recently, a four decades-old tape popped up on which she is heard laughing while saying that she had lost all faith in polygraph tests because her client had fooled the machine. She then went on to brag that she got him off with a 10-month sentence on a minor charge. And this is a person who insists it’s Republicans who are waging war on women.

While on the topic of double standards, it’s worth noting that Obama wants same-sex married couples to be granted sick leave to care for an ailing “spouse” even in states that don’t recognize such marriages. However, people who have the legal right to carry a concealed weapon in one state will be arrested if discovered to be packing heat in another state, although the Second Amendment guarantees the right to bear arms, while the Constitution says nothing about two guys exchanging wedding vows. And the reason for that is because, quite frankly, such a preposterous notion would never have occurred to Adams, Jefferson or Madison.

Finally, I’m no scientist, but is it just possible that trailer homes work like magnets where storms are concerned? I’m just wondering because every time I see the aftermath of a hurricane, I see dozens of them lying around the landscape looking like a child’s abandoned toys. Seems to me that by this time you don’t have to be particularly religious to suspect God is trying to send us a clear message, encouraging us in no uncertain terms to next time get a house with a damn foundation.


MORAL EQUIVALENCY & OTHER FALLACIES

Liberals are so stupid they actually believe that when they claim to see a moral equivalence between Israel and the Palestinians or between a murderer and the state that executes him for his crime, they are being sophisticated because, unlike lesser beings, they don’t view the world in black and white, but in nuanced shades of gray. All they really prove, of course, is that they lack a moral compass.

I first became aware of this spiritual blindness when Hollywood pinhead Steven Spielberg made a dud of a movie called “Munich.” Apparently Spielberg assumed, being Jewish and the self-proclaimed conscience of Hollywood, that he was entitled to decide there was no difference between the barbarians who massacred Israel’s athletes at the 1972 Olympics and the members of Mossad who tracked down the killers and dispensed justice.

What’s more, the Israeli agents used guns. That, alone, would be more than enough to prove that they were no better than the killers they pursued. So far as Hollywood big wigs are concerned, the only people who are entitled to bear arms are members of the Beverly Hills Police Department, their own personal bodyguards and of course the actors in their blood-drenched action movies.

There are times when I question whether liberals are people at all or are merely a weird breed of parrot. I mean, by this time, surely even Dianne Feinstein must have noticed that virtually every gun-related massacre, including Columbine, Fort Hood, Aurora and Newtown, has taken place in a school, a movie theater or a military base, and that the one thing they had in common were that they were all gun-free zones. What’s more, the cities with the highest murder rates in America, namely Chicago and Washington, D.C., have the strictest gun control laws on the books. But those facts never dissuade liberals from campaigning for more gun-free zones and gun control legislation.

Speaking of gun violence, recently, Ronald Lee Haskell went hunting for his ex-wife. When her sister, Katie, and Katie’s husband, Stephen, refused to divulge her whereabouts, Haskell murdered them and four of their five children, ranging in age from four to 14. The lone survivor, a 15-year-old daughter, suffered a fractured skull when the bullet merely grazed her head.

The court will now determine Haskell’s mental condition and decide if he is legally responsible for his actions. And I’d like to know why that’s necessary. There’s no question of his guilt, so why does it matter if a psychiatrist decides he didn’t know that he was doing something wrong when he pulled the trigger seven times in that Houston home? If he didn’t understand that what he did was evil, he’s no less a monster, simply one lacking a brain as well as a soul. In either case, he has the blood of six innocent victims on his hands and has left a teenage girl, who had two parents and four siblings just a short while ago, with no family at all.

Liberals have a difficult time maintaining a consistent point of view when it comes to the Supreme Court. For instance, Obama held it in high regard when, against all logic, it ruled that the Affordable Care Act was constitutional because it was a tax, in spite of the fact that in its argument to the Court, the administration insisted it wasn’t any such thing. But two short years later, when the Court decided to get serious and began chiding Obama over his blatant disregard of the Constitution’s separation of powers, he’s decided they’re nothing more than a collection of drunks and reprobates.

Nancy Pelosi has been even harsher in her condemnation of the male justices who ruled in favor of Hobby Lobby. In fact, she condemned them solely on the basis of their gender, declaring that men had no business voicing an opinion when it came to contraception. She didn’t even bother excluding Justice Stephen Breyer, who sided with Kagan, Ginsburg and Sotomayor. Something else Pelosi neglected to consider while venting her misandry was the fact that in 1973, when the Supreme Court legalized abortion in America, all nine justices were male, and only two of them, Rehnquist and White, dissented from the misguided majority.

There are a great many people who believe or at least strongly suspect that Barack Obama, who spent his impressionable early years in Islamic Indonesia and proclaimed the Arab call to prayer (the muzzein) “one of the prettiest sounds on earth,” is a Muslim. Maybe yes, maybe no, but it would certainly help explain why a recent Gallup Poll showed that, whereas Obama’s approval numbers among the rest of us hovers around 40%, a staggering 72% of American Muslims think he’s doing a bang-up job.

Another group that would no doubt write him a letter of recommendation are illegal aliens. After all, he has rolled out the red, white and blue carpet for thousands of Central Americans, who are bringing few marketable skills with them, but any number of communicable diseases, including tuberculosis. And if that’s not bad enough, according to the National Border Control Council, Obama is allowing them to fly on commercial airliners without valid identification.

I bet the next time you’re standing in an endless serpentine line at an airport, and removing your shoes, belt and prosthetic devices, you’ll wish you, too, had had the foresight to sneak into the United States.

Finally, why do people keep referring to the caliphate being established in Iraq and Syria as the first terrorist state in the world? What about Iran? Surely you haven’t forgotten good old Iran — the pigsty that’s developing a nuclear bomb, has sworn to wipe Israel off the face of the earth, and has kept busy recruiting suicide-bombers and exporting Islamic terrorism ever since the late 70s!

Is it any wonder that Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, recently displayed his justifiable petulance when he was heard to whine: “What are we, chopped liver?”

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




“Beyond the Pale” and “Terrorists & Heroes”

It’s a wonder to me that there are still people who can listen to liberals and believe a word they say. Whether it’s Obama’s promising that we could keep our doctors and our health plans, Harry Reid’s calling cancer victims liars for daring to disclose the hardships wrought by the Affordable Care Act or Elizabeth Warren claiming to be a Cherokee in order to get herself hired at diversity-crazy Harvard, there are millions of chuckleheads who will happily swallow the swill and insist it tastes just like chicken.

Now we have Hillary Clinton pulling out the crying towel, insisting to Diane Sawyer that she and Bill were not only dead broke when they left the White House, but deeply in debt because of legal fees. I have no idea why she wanted to mention the legal fees inasmuch as they’re a reminder that he needed to hire lawyers because he had perjured himself before a grand jury, which also happened to be the reason he was ultimately disbarred.

I still recall the way that George W. Bush was mocked by Democrats when it was falsely reported that he was unfamiliar with the bar codes at a supermarket. But when Hillary, while explaining her alleged financial woes, says, “You know how it is when you have to piece together mortgages for houses,” the same folks not only manage to keep their mockery in check, but offer her their sympathy.

I mean, perhaps Diane Sawyer and hubby Mike Nichols know what it’s like to buy multiple homes, but it’s not a common dilemma for most of us peons. But, then, neither are $10 million book deals or $250,000-a-crack speaking fees.

Speaking of people suffering from the agony associated with having a tin ear, Obama dismisses critics of the Bergdahl swap by patting himself on the back for liberating five terrorist leaders in exchange for one Army deserter. He does that in spite of the fact that 75% of those polled opposed the trade after the fact, and even such political allies as Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D, CA) and Obama’s former Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, opposed the deal prior to the trade!

You keep hearing that Obama is playing to his base whether it’s in reference to postponing construction of the Keystone pipeline, expanding the reach of the EPA or wiping his butt with the Constitution. My question is whether or not the actual base includes anyone besides the less than magnificent seven: Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Dick Durbin, Vladimir Putin, the Ayatollah Khomeini and George Soros.

Regarding the treacherous swap, some people, specifically John Kerry, are choosing to play down the fact that Bowe Bergdahl deserted by pointing out that the Taliban tortured him and that he tried to escape. I believe the simple and obvious explanation is that when he abandoned his platoon because, as he put it in an email to his Allah-blessing father — otherwise known as Abu ben Bergdahl to some of us — he hated America and especially the U.S. military, and that therefore young Bergdahl assumed the Taliban would welcome him as the Prodigal Son. When, instead, they treated him the way they generally treat infidels, though short of hacking off his head, it came as a rude wake-up call to the traitorous punk.

Some people used to refer to Barack Obama as the Manchurian Candidate. They were referencing Raymond Shaw, a character created by novelist Richard Condon. In a nefarious plot, Shaw was passed off as a war hero, but was in reality a dupe who had been psychologically programmed to kill in order that foreign and domestic villains might achieve a political end. I think that Bowe Bergdahl, after spending much of his five years in captivity cavorting with the enemy, playing soccer and engaging in target practice, might better fit that description, unless the Army wisely decides to provide him with a one-way ticket to Leavenworth. Short of that, I think we can expect that one day Mr. Bergdahl will be running for the Senate in Idaho.

Not only does Obama trade away five Muslim terrorists in exchange for one deserter, but at the same time he lets a Marine stew in a Mexican jail and rolls out the red carpet for thousands of Honduran and Guatemalan children, who first had to pass through Mexico to reach and then cross our border. I’m just asking, but isn’t it high time we declared Mexico a rogue state and cut off tourism and diplomatic relations, as we did with Cuba?

Finally, Miss Nevada, Nia Sanchez, got into trouble with feminists when she took the occasion of the Miss Universe pageant to say that women need to learn how to defend themselves from sexual assault. It seems the women of NOW were upset because they wanted her to set men straight by telling them that rape is wrong.

On behalf of the male gender, I’d like the ladies to understand we already know it’s wrong. We also know without being told by the likes of Gloria Steinem that killing, stealing and cheating at cards, is also wrong.

Nevertheless, a woman like Ms. Sanchez, who is a fourth degree black belt, has the right idea. When confronted by a rapist, a karate jab to the Adam’s apple or a kick to the groin is a far greater deterrent than a sermon.

Might I suggest to the feminists that their time would be better spent if they stopped picking on people like the admirable Nia Sanchez, who is not only smarter than they are, but looks a heck of a lot better in a bathing suit.

Instead, they should be advising Muslim women to start packing revolvers under those stupid burkas so that they could defend themselves from perverted fathers and brothers whose Koran assures them that Allah smiles on those who prove themselves honorable by stoning to death any wife or daughter who raises the slightest objection to residing in eighth century pig sties.

TERRORISTS AND HEROES

Somebody will one day have to explain to me why we or the Israelis ever imprison terrorists. If we’re not going to execute them, why capture them at all? Why bother feeding and clothing them until the day comes that the bad guys capture one of ours in order to trade him in for five, 500 or a thousand of theirs? In the case of Israel, they’ve even been known to swap hundreds of jihadists in exchange for a single corpse.

I understand that by simply executing the bad guys, some would argue that we would be fueling their recruitment programs. But we hear that about everything from keeping Gitmo open to airing “Dancing with the Stars.” If we merely order a BLT, we’re told that ten thousand more pinheads have signed up to murder us for disrespecting their dietary laws. For a change, let’s just see if we can kill them faster than they can recruit replacements. I mean, we all know that the human race will never be able to exterminate every last rodent and cockroach, but that’s no reason to stop trying.

While addressing a group of homosexuals, Eric Holder recently attacked the Boy Scouts because they refuse to have openly gay Scout leaders. My question is why is the Attorney General pandering to homosexuals? With all the scandals brewing in Washington, why is he even giving speeches? If he has so much time on his hands, wouldn’t it be better spent trying to hunt up those two years of email messages between Lois Lerner and the White House that the IRS insists have gone missing?

Besides, last year the Scouts were sued and lost a $16 million lawsuit because a Scout master molested one of his charges on a camping trip. I know that gays hate to be lumped with pedophiles, but the sad truth is that while all gays don’t go around molesting young boys, those perverts who do just happen to be homosexual. So unless America’s homosexuals or its attorney general stand ready to indemnify the Boy Scouts against such lawsuits, it’s time they just shut up. If they want to start the Gay Scouts of America, nobody’s stopping them.

Americans often tend to be very naïve. It’s not the worst thing to be, but it can denote a severe degree of stupidity. For instance, whenever some nut pops his cork and shoots up a movie theater or a classroom, his friends, neighbors and relatives, can nearly always be counted on to remark, “Gee, he seemed so quiet and polite,” as if a sure sign of insanity is being noisy and obnoxious.

Naiveté can also be fatal at a time of war. And unless you’ve been living in a cave since before 1978 when the Islamic creeps in Iran took Americans hostage; before our embassies and Marine barracks were attacked; before an airliner was blown up over Scotland; before the Twin Towers were brought down; before Major Hasan killed or maimed over 40 people at Fort Hood; and before the Tsarnaev brothers massacred Boston marathoners; a war has definitely been underway. And saying that you know some perfectly nice Islamic shopkeepers and taxi drivers changes nothing. I’m sure there were some perfectly nice Germans who didn’t care for Hitler, but they still went along for the ride.

When you realize how few Muslims even here in America are willing to speak out against the scum who holler “Allah Akbar” while burning churches, stoning women to death for being Christians or hacking off the heads of so-called infidels, you’ll pardon me if I don’t regard all those soft-spoken shopkeepers and taxi drivers as salt of the earth. For my part, I don’t trust them any further than I can toss the 9/11 Memorial.

Fortunately, there are still heroes among us. A few of them were the former members of Bowe Bergdahl’s Army platoon. In spite of being called liars and even psychopaths by those Obama acolytes who are trying to put lipstick on the swap of five jihadists for one deserter and calling it a sweetheart of a deal, the ex-GIs have stuck to their guns in demanding that Bergdahl be court martialed.

A less likely hero is Donald Sterling. Instead of rolling over and taking whatever the politically correct hypocrites felt like dishing out, rumor has it that he’s hired private investigators to dig up dirt on ex-NBA Commissioner David Stern, current Commissioner Adam Silver and the 29 other team owners.

I, for one, am delighted that Sterling wasn’t wasting his time at all those basketball games, and finally came to realize that the best defense is a good offense.

And if I know anything about professional sports, those investigators are likely to dig up enough dirt on those 31shmucks to fill in the Grand Canyon.

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




John Kerry, Meet Donald Sterling

Secretary of State Kerry, who seems to be working overtime to make his predecessor look good, announced that if Israel didn’t cave to the Muslims, who pray to Allah several times a day for the extinction of all Jews, they ran the risk of being denounced as an apartheid nation. The next day, after an initial firestorm, he decided, as they say, to walk his statement back. Not too surprisingly, Donald Sterling wasn’t allowed the same opportunity, even though he is just another sports team owner, and Kerry is allegedly America’s number one diplomat.

Understand, I am not standing up for Mr. Sterling (born Donald Tokowitz 80 years ago). There’s nothing I like about him, including his past career as an ambulance-chasing lawyer, his name change or his choice of girlfriends. Heck, I don’t even like basketball.

But I happen to hate hypocrisy. So the NBA, which pretty much turns a blind eye to infractions by players, which includes beating up their wives, using illegal drugs, engaging in bar fights, driving under the influence and siring a couple of dozen babies with a couple of dozen different women, lowers the boom on the stupid white guy.

When it comes to the disciplining of players, it usually takes the form of wrist slaps involving short suspensions and fines the players can pay off with the loose change they find under their sofa cushions. But when it comes to this seemingly senile old coot, whose crime consists of shooting off his mouth to his slutty ex-mistress, it suddenly calls for a lifelong banishment from the league and a forced sale of the team.

The dirty little secret in America is that it’s only the likes of silly old white guys like Cliven Bundy and Donald Sterling who get pilloried for their ignorant comments. It’s never old black guys like Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Charley Rangel and Hank Aaron or middle-aged black guys like Eric Holder or vapid Hispanics like Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor.

That brings us to John Kerry. He made the vulgar comparison of Israel to the formerly apartheid South Africa, even though two million Arabs and Muslims call Israel home, and enjoy the same rights as Jews and even get to serve in the Knesset, the Israeli parliament.

One might even find it ironic that with as many Muslims in Israel as there are in the United States ( about two million), and even though Israel has a mere two percent of our population, there are more Muslims in the Knesset, about a dozen, than we have in Congress, which happens to be two – Democrats Keith Ellison and Andre Carson. I’m not complaining, you understand, as I personally think they’re over-represented. I just wanted to clear up a few things for Kerry.

In his defense, some liberals have argued that Kerry made his statement in private at a gathering of the Trilateral Commission, but you may have noticed that they had quite a different take when it came to Mitt Romney’s reference to 47% of the population at a closed meeting or Donald Sterling’s private phone conversation. Apparently people should be more worried about scorned women than they are of the NSA.

Naturally, Juan Williams gave Kerry the benefit of the doubt after Kerry, as is typical with this administration, belatedly tried to explain he didn’t really mean what he said. But, unlike Sterling, Kerry’s remarks weren’t unfortunate ad libs; they were written out in a prepared speech and had, like all such addresses, been vetted by the State Department.

There were even some of my fellow Jews willing to defend the Secretary of State’s vile statement. Those, of course, would be JINOS, Jews in Name Only. Those are Jews whose god shouldn’t ever be confused with Jehovah, but, rather, who happens to be any Democrat residing in the White House at the time. They can always be counted upon to be in lockstep with an anti-Semite like Kerry.

Or considering that Kerry looks like he should be pulling a plow, perhaps “lockstep” is the wrong term, and a more appropriate expression would be in “double harness.”

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




A Second Day of Infamy

It’s been twelve years since the Islamic faithful inadvertently brought down the twin towers. I say inadvertently because nobody was more surprised than Osama bin Laden when jet planes crashed into the tops of New York skyscrapers and brought the buildings tumbling down. Because he had no idea how thousands of gallons of burning jet fuel would work on steel girders, he had only imagined he would send a message by murdering a few hundred office workers and airplane passengers.

For that sick puke, murdering 3,000 civilians was like buying a single ticket and winning the Powerball lottery.

As horrific as 9/11 was, we’ve had a succession of truly vile days since. To begin with, we had to listen to American Muslims whining about being racially profiled. It was particularly obnoxious when we discovered that the FBI had to step in and stop them from continuing to fund Hamas, Hezbollah and the rest of the Middle Eastern scumbags, under the pretense that they were making charitable contributions to schools and hospitals.

At the time, I wrote that if Muslims in America wanted to prove that their loyalty was to this country and not to the jihadists, all they had to do was pass the hat at their neighborhood mosques and come up with a sizable reward for Osama bin Laden, dead or alive. It never happened, and as a result every time I heard George Bush or Condoleezza Rice telling us that Islam was a religion of peace, my gag reflex was activated.

The true extent that political correctness dictated policy was on display at every airport in America when 25-year-old Muslim males were treated no differently than 75-year-old Lutheran grannies. If anything, Homeland Security agents were more likely to frisk the old lady because nobody was likely to lose his job if she complained.

Along with everything else, things only got worse once Obama was elected. He not only went on a barnstorming tour of the Middle East, pretty much adding his voice to the chorus of mullahs condemning us as the Big Satan. He went to Cairo and delivered a speech that appeased our enemies and confounded our allies. He even went so far as to state that Muslims had played a major role in the creation of our nation, only stopping short of mentioning the unforgettable contributions of Mohammed Washington, Abdullah Jefferson and Osama bin Hamilton.

It only took him another four years before he deigned to visit Israel, and even that only came after he voiced strong objections to Israel erecting apartment houses in their own country and parroting Islamic demands that they draw back to pre-1967 borders.

In the meantime, we have seen Obama’s choice for head of Homeland Security, Janet Napolitano, insisting that our security system worked like a charm just because incompetence prevented major terrorist acts taking place in Times Square and over the skies of Detroit.

An Army Major at Fort Hood who owed his allegiance to Allah murdered a slew of his fellow soldiers, and the White House dismissed it as workplace violence. A couple of Chechen brothers whose family should never have been granted political asylum in the first place murdered and maimed a large number of Boston marathoners, and there’s not even a move to belatedly deport the family.

We didn’t have a problem telling the truth about the Germans, the Japanese or the Russians, when they were our acknowledged enemies. Apparently, their glaring mistake was in not pretending that our differences were religiously motivated.

I guess in a country in which cultural diversity is seen as the ideal, when no nation, society or race, must ever be regarded as superior to others, but where it’s perfectly fine to label America and white Christians as inferior, it figures that nobody would be encouraged to speak the truth about Islam or to point out that most of the misery in the world today can be traced to those who believe that “Allah Akbar” is anything but an obscenity.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




Obama Won’t See Netanyahu, But He Doesn’t Hate Israel

Word is circulating that President Obama has refused to meet with Benjamin Netanyahu when the Israeli prime minister visits the United Nations next week. The relationship between the two leaders has been strained in recent years, and Netanyahu has expressed disappointment with Obama’s tepid response to the threat of an Iranian nuclear-weapons program.

The White House insists that it is not snubbing Netanyahu, that the President simply is too busy to schedule a meeting with one of America’s closest allies during a time of intense crisis in the Middle East. White House aides say that the President instead will be on the campaign trail.

Some Obama-watchers speculate, however, that Obama nixed a meeting only after he took a look at the long-range weather forecast, and found that perfect golfing weather is expected in the D.C. area next week.

Whatever the reason, there will be no meeting. However, the White House, in what is widely seen as a  gesture of contrition, has prepared a list of other things that Mr. Netanyahu might want to do while he is in the United States.

We have obtained a copy of the list from a source that prefers not to be identified.

The White House has offered Mr. Netanyahu tickets to a festive cornerstone-laying ceremony on Thursday of next week at the mosque being built near Ground Zero in Lower Manhattan. The event will be hosted by the Muslim Brotherhood. This is considered a must-attend by the more liberal members of the Democratic party in New York.

The next day, Friday, Netanyahu will proceed to Washington, where he will attend a home game at the Washington Nationals baseball park, beginning just after sundown.

In addition to tickets, Netanyahu and his party will receive vouchers for free pork hot dogs, skewered shrimp, catfish-and-chips and milk.

On Saturday the party will proceed to the National Mall, to witness the closing ceremonies at the Holocaust Museum. The museum is closing because Mr. Obama is withdrawing federal support as one of his many budget-cutting measures, and because his Chicago friend Louis Farrakhan has advised him that the Holocaust didn’t really happen.

From there it is back to New York on Sunday, where he will attend a meeting of the entire membership of that city’s Jews for Obama organization. The meeting will be held in a broom closet on the Upper West Side.