Scofflaws, Ne’er-Do-Wells & Liberals

I don’t think it’s coincidental that the Palestinians and Obama both use children as props. Because they both know that most normal human beings have a soft spot for kids, they don’t hesitate to use them as propaganda tools. In the case of Arabs and Muslims, they place them in harm’s way so that they can then carry their mangled little bodies through the streets in a perverted attempt to make their side appear to command the moral high ground.

Because Israelis know that the world’s left-wing, anti-Semitic, press opposes their nation’s very existence, they try to avoid collateral damage when striking back at those who are constantly firing missiles at them. They even call ahead to warn civilians to avoid certain places being targeted. It is at that point, that, more often than not, the Palestinians round up children and place them on those rooftops. I suppose that’s why it finally dawned on me why Islamics don’t eat pork: professional courtesy.

As usual, Obama, Biden and their trained monkeys in the Senate, called for restraint on the part of Israel, something they never request of Israel’s enemies in the Middle East. Frankly, inasmuch as Israel has a nuclear arsenal, I would say that every day that passes without their nuking Gaza is an example of unparalleled restraint.

Recently, we have seen how Obama has gone about using Central American children as a way to coerce the passage of legislation that he hasn’t been able to create with his pen and his phone. He entices thousands of children to come north, and when they arrive Obama labels it a humanitarian crisis and insists that Congress fork over four billion dollars to deal with the self-inflicted problem.

But it’s not for our government to roll out the red carpet for everyone who thinks they’d like to live here. On the other hand, Malia and Sasha are getting to be big girls, and we all know how parents sometimes suffer from the empty nest syndrome. So if Barack and Michelle decide they’d like to adopt 65,000 kids, it’s fine with me. But I don’t think those kids have any more right to show up, expecting to be clothed, fed and sheltered, than I would have the right to, say, sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom if I dropped by the White House uninvited.

Something that bugs me no end about the pro-illegal alien side of the debate is that they choose to ignore the fact that nobody else in America is entitled to benefit from the commission of a crime. So how is it that if the parents snuck into the country and therefore are not really “subject to the jurisdiction thereof,” their offspring are magically bestowed with the benefits of citizenship? Just because the kids didn’t personally sneak in doesn’t change a darn thing. After all, if the parents had knocked over a bank, their kids wouldn’t somehow be entitled to the loot.

Speaking of invasions, twice in the distant past, Europe has had to fight off Muslim armies. It happened in 732, at the Battle of Tours, and again in 1683, at the Battle of Vienna. Clearly, in the intervening 431 years, the followers of Islam have wised up, which is why just about every nation on the continent is infested with millions of them, with not a shot having been fired. God knows that Islam hasn’t changed for the better over the centuries. It’s Europe that’s changed for the worse.

But, for that matter, so have we. Walter Williams quoted James Madison in a recent piece, reminding us that the father of the Constitution once pointed out that “Charity is no part of the legislative duty of the government.” And that holds true whether the charity we’re referring to is welfare for the individual or group, farm subsidies, corporate bailouts or foreign aid. And anyone who tells you anything different is simultaneously trying to pick your pocket and trash the Constitution.

If I didn’t hate him so much, I might even feel sorry for Obama. Imagine being the president during an election year, and not one of your party’s candidates wants to be seen sharing a hamburger, let alone a stage, with you. Even the nuclear fallout at Chernobyl in 1997 wasn’t as toxic as this guy. But, then, when you think about all the rats running around in this administration, the big surprise is that Washington, D.C., hasn’t yet experienced an outbreak of bubonic plague.

I know that Costco had a change of heart about pulling Dinesh D’Souza’s book, “America: Imagine the World without Her,” off its shelves. But the turnaround only happened because so many people raised a hue and cry about it. However, the fact remains that its co-founder, and still an influential voice in the company, James Sinegal, is a major contributor to Obama and the Democrats and got to address the Democratic convention in 2012. Therefore, is it asking too much of conservatives that they avoid shopping there, and that at least in this one small way display their annoyance with liberals who take their hard-earned money and hand it over to those who despise them and oppose every single thing conservatives hold dear?

In other news from the wacky world of liberalism, the madcap ladies of NOW have placed the Little Sisters of the Poor on their list of the Dirty 100 because of the Sisters’ resistance to the abortion-causing contraceptives offered by ObamaCare. Well, it just so happens that I keep a nasty little list of my own, and NOW is very near the top of it.

Finally, a reader of mine, Roy Bahr, wrote to suggest that we bring Edward Snowden back to the U.S. and have him recover Lois Lerner’s lost emails.

Maybe I’m turning into a softy in my old age, but in exchange for that, I just might offer the arrogant schmuck immunity.

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©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

“The World Is A Bad Soap Opera” and “It’s Not Hearsay, It’s Heresy”

Note: Burt’s Webcast Starts Wednesday, March 12, 1PM Pacific Time!
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The health and fashion magazines keep telling their readers that 60 is the new 50, and 50 is the new 40, and so on. We now have further proof that college is the new high school. It seems that the SAT, an exam that is supposed to establish which 18-year-olds are college material and which ones should consider getting into politics as soon as possible, is not only making the essay portion optional, but removing difficult words from the vocabulary part of the exam.

Apparently, anyone who can spell c-a-t and is willing to hock his or her future for a college loan is now deemed to be college material.

Speaking of places that have the effrontery to claim they’re institutions of higher learning, Rutgers’ Faculty Council passed a resolution calling for the university to rescind its invitation to Condoleezza Rice to be this year’s commencement speaker. The tenured pinheads based their objection on her having played a role in the Iraq War and in “Bush’s policy of enhanced interrogation techniques.” You know, those watery techniques used on a trio of Muslim terrorists that led to our finding and killing Osama bin Laden.

I have to ask: Is there any group of individuals that is simultaneously as stupid, arrogant and self-righteous, as those to be found on our nation’s college campuses? Of course I mean, aside from the members of the current administration.

Rutgers, I should add, is the same place that paid Snooki (real name: Nicole Polizzi) of the so-called reality show “Jersey Shore” $32,000 to share her wisdom at a couple of hour-long Q&A sessions. And you no doubt had been wondering what colleges did with all that tuition money they scarf up like industrial-sized vacuum cleaners.

While we’re on the subject of education, Barack Obama took a break from a visit to a pre-school – which is a heck of a thing for a place that claims to be a school to call itself –to give a press conference. He took the occasion to say, “Putin may have a different set of lawyers making a different set of interpretations, but I don’t think that’s fooling anyone.”

Wow! Kennedy said, “Ich bin eine Berliner;” Reagan said, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall;” and Obama stands around comparing lawyers. Rumor has it that on his way out the door, a four-year-old bullied Obama out of his lunch money.

In other news of the day, I have to admit that when I heard that some young New Jersey woman, possibly a friend of Snooki, was suing for child support, I naturally assumed she was suing a husband or a boyfriend who had dumped her and their kid. But it seems that the child was herself and that Rachel Canning, 18, was suing her parents because they insisted that so long as she lived in their home, she’d abide by their rules. So she moved out and tried to get the court to force them to support her.

In a voice mail to her mother, Rachel had said: “I really just wanna s— all over your face right now because it looks like that anyway. Anyway, I f—— hate you and I’ve written you off. I’m blocking you from just about everything.” Isn’t that just like kids? They’ll say the nastiest things imaginable, but they’ll leave the door open a wee crack so you can still pay their bills.

In his decision, Judge Peter Bogaard ruled in favor of the parents, saying that to do otherwise “could open the gates to a 12-year-old suing for an X-Box or a 13-year-old suing for an iPhone.”

If I were the president, I’d have Judge Bogaard, clearly one of the very few sensible jurists in America, on my short list for the next opening on the Supreme Court in spite of that annoying extra “a” in his name.

At the very least, Ms. Canning should not have been allowed to sue for child support, but, rather, for brat support.

Moving on, I’d like to see the day when any American citizen who has the time and money to bring a lawsuit against the federal government is considered to have standing before the Supreme Court. For instance, the Affordable Care Act, which was strong-armed into existence four years ago by Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, doesn’t directly affect me. But as an American, why should I have to stand idly by while the bill wrecks the economy, destroys healthcare for millions of my fellow citizens and allows the president to shred the Constitution a little more every time he arbitrarily, and for purely partisan reasons, bypasses Congress and changes it by executive fiat?

And, finally, what the heck does Lois Lerner have on those guys on the Congressional Oversight Committee? Twice, she has refused to answer questions about the IRS scandal, once illegally hiding behind the Fifth Amendment after she had already spoken for the record, and twice she has been allowed to traipse out the door into that nutty parallel universe where she is still being allowed to collect her IRS pension.

In my world, contempt of Congress is regarded as an appropriate attitude. But, legally speaking, it also happens to be a crime that carries with it jail time. So why isn’t she being led out of the room in shackles with both incarceration and an IRS audit in her future?

This is a question I would love to be able to put to Committee Chairman Darrel Issa, but I suspect he, too, would take the Fifth.

It’s Not Hearsay, It’s Heresy

Several hundred years ago, an Italian astronomer named Galileo Galilei, which sounds like something a Swiss shepherd might yodel, was found guilty of heresy and placed under house arrest for insisting that the earth revolved around the sun. Unfortunately for Signor Galilei, this contradicted Church doctrine that had long contended the earth was the center of the universe.

Today, polling shows that one in four Americans actually believes that the sun spins around the earth. But it’s not because the Church tells them falsehoods. Rather, it’s because they’re stupid and because they, like the knuckleheads who parrot the nonsense about man-made global warming, are convinced they are dealing with “settled science,” a term concocted by liberal nincompoops for the purpose of silencing logical skeptics.

What those who stand to profit from the billion dollars Obama wants to set aside for those engaged in the climate hoax never tell you is what would be so terrible about a little more warm air. Oh, I know that Al Gore fed us a bunch of bull about melting ice raising the ocean level 20 feet and drowning polar bears and loons in San Francisco, but nobody has seriously paid any attention to the buffoon since he announced he invented the Internet.

If the earth warmed up so that people on the Atlantic coast would stop freezing every winter and the English could once again grow grapes, I think those would be good things. But, then, I also thought it would be swell if the Pacific Ocean wiped out all the polar bears and also took out the coastal regions of California, Oregon and Washington, wiping out 90% of west coast progressives.

Speaking of Oregon, it seems that Trader Joe’s won’t be opening a store in Portland because, according to a group of louts calling themselves the Portland African American Leadership Forum, “the store would increase the desirability for non-oppressed minorities” to shop there.

Portland, in an attempt to bring some prosperity to the neighborhood, offered a two-acre parcel of empty land appraised at $2.3 million for $500,000 to encourage development. The project was to include two large anchor buildings and 10 retail shops. What’s more, the construction was to be done by a company owned by blacks.

But that was before the PAALF weighed in with their objections. And you can understand their position. After all, who wants to have those damn white shoppers contaminating the hood? You’ve got to keep things pristine for the local pimps, hos and drug dealers.

Before you get too depressed, I’m delighted to report that the United Auto Workers lost in its attempt to unionize the VW plant in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Part of the reason could be that a starting worker was already earning $19.50-an-hour, whereas their counterparts in Michigan start out at $15.50.

In fact, as historian Ron Radosh pointed out in a recent article, membership in the UAW has fallen from a high of 1.5 million to the current 400,000. In addition, Michigan, which back in the days of union boss Walter Reuther, was the most unionized state in the union, is now strictly right-to-work. The writing is clearly on the wall; at the rate at which people are finally waking up, industrial unions will soon join those damn polar bears on the endangered species list.

Founding Father James Madison once wrote: “In framing a government to be administered by men over men, the great difficulty lies in this: You must first enable the government to control the governed, and next oblige it to control itself.”

But there’s the rub, as we’ve watched Barack Obama assume the very powers that Madison, Jefferson and Adams, tried so hard to keep out of the hands of some future power-mad tyrant whose role model, alas, wasn’t George Washington, but, rather, King George III.

Finally, when I heard the news that a few flakes were closing down the nation’s capital, I jumped to the happy conclusion that the media was finally catching on to the truth about the current regime and its traitorous enablers at the Justice Department, the EPA, Health & Human Resources and the IRS.

But, to my chagrin, it seems they were only referring to the latest snow storm.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Warning: Head Explosions Just Ahead

Eric Holder, whose greatest ambition was clearly to be the worst Attorney General in history, helped solidify his claim on the title by insisting that the Justice Department will not allow profiling on the basis of religion or national origin. I had assumed that was already the policy of an A.G. who is so corrupt, he refuses to prosecute racial hate crimes unless the target of the investigation is a white individual or a Tea Party group.

We’ve been engaged for the past 35 years in an undeclared war with Islam – undeclared by us, that is – but Mr. Holder regards it as rude if we concentrate on the religion or nationality of those sworn to murder us.

Anyone who isn’t worried sick over what Barack Obama and Eric (Mini Me) Holder, are doing to our justice system just hasn’t been paying close attention.

In fact, when you look at the Washington in-crowd that also includes Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Kathleen Sebelius, John Kerry and Zeke Emanuel, you could easily get the idea that when it comes to existential threats to America, Iran ranks no higher than tenth or eleventh.

I was never a partisan of Chris Christie, so it hardly concerns me that his poll numbers are dropping. But even if he hadn’t spent so much of October, 2012, cuddling with Barack Obama, I would have questioned his sanity once I learned, as I recently did, that he has attended 127 Bruce Springsteen concerts. I would expect that sort of thing from a teenager with a very rich, very indulgent, father, not from a grown-up with his eye on the White House. Frankly, I’m surprised that the tabloids haven’t glommed on to this and gone to town with headlines asserting that The Boss Has a Thing for “The Boss.”

Until I read about it in Townhall magazine, I’d been unaware that in 2012, the biographies of nearly all the past presidents were changed on to include something about Obama. So, for instance, Reagan’s bio was expanded to include the claim that Obama has the same tax policy as the fellow who cut the number of tax brackets from 15 down to two.

Knowing what we do of Obama’s boundless audacity, you can’t help wondering about other possible changes. Did Obama help James Madison write the Constitution, insisting to the bitter end that he include something about income inequality? Did he warn Lincoln not to attend Ford’s Theater, explaining that “Our American Cousin” had a deadly third act? Did he counsel FDR not to go to war with Germany and Japan, and, instead, to give peace a chance?

It’s no wonder that Obama will go down in history as last in war, last in peace and last in the hearts of his countrymen.

From 1927 through 1930, the Motion Picture Academy nominated five movies as the best of the year. In 1931, they nominated eight contenders. The next year, they nominated 10. It stayed that way until 1944, when they limited the number to five. Then, a couple of years ago, they changed it back up to 10. It certainly wasn’t because Hollywood had begun turning out great movies. There were two main reasons for the change. One, it helps sell tickets when you can mention an Oscar nomination in the ads. Two, it’s not easy satisfying all the humongous egos in Hollywood, and doubling the number of producers, directors and stars, who can brag they had something to do with an Oscar-nominated film is a pretty easy way to make it happen.

This year, for some reason, they only saw fit to nominate nine. Of the nine, I saw six. Of the six, only two were worthy of any sort of award, unless it were something bestowed by the pharmaceutical industry to honor the best sleep inducer not sold in a bottle. What is most notable about the number of nominees is that clearly they could have named a tenth, but chose not to. And the film that wasn’t on the list in spite of decent reviews, great box office and sensational word of mouth – and my own personal favorite of the year, even though I don’t happen to like war movies — was “Lone Survivor.”

Was the fact it depicted American soldiers as authentic heroes, and not as thugs, rapists and mercenaries, the reason that such soporifics as “Her,” “American Hustle” and “Dallas Buyers Club” survived the cut and “Lone Survivor” didn’t?

When Wendy Davis, the woman who is trying to ride her 11-hour filibuster against a bill that would have banned abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy into the Texas governor’s mansion, was caught lying about her personal history, she said that in the future she would have to tighten up her language.

Did I hear “Tighten up her language?!” Translated into English, would that be “Stop lying?”

What is it with these creeps that prevent them from speaking like actual human beings? With politicians, they never fess up to fibbing. Instead, they misspeak, talk back their earlier statement or are guilty of not tightening up their language.

In Davis’s case, one of the things she wasn’t tight enough about was the fact that she did not work her way through college and law school; instead, her second husband paid her way. What’s more, in a breathtaking display of chutzpah, she walked out of the marriage the day after the poor schnook paid off the last of her school loans.

I am reminded of L.A.’s publicity-mad lawyer, the uberliberal Gloria Allred. Although she also claimed to have done it all on her own, in fact it was, again, a second husband who paid her way through law school. Still, in spite of being a devout feminist, she demanded and received alimony. A few years later, her ex went to prison on a fraud charge; she showed her gratitude by refusing to accept even a penny less in alimony once he served his sentence, although by then, she was making a nice living and, as an ex-con, he couldn’t find a job.

It should also be mentioned that Mr. Allred adopted Gloria’s daughter by her first husband and even paid her way through Yale Law School.

Second husbands, beware: If your wife decides to become a lawyer, you’d be the biggest sucker in town if you even considered financing the enterprise. When all is said and done, she won’t even have to pay a third party to take you to the cleaners.

I am still recuperating from my hand and wrist surgery, but I’d like to thank all who wrote with their good wishes. Some mentioned the possibility that even though the surgery wasn’t life-threatening, there was a very real possibility that I would experience serious mood changes. I was told that for a while, I might have to endure either suicidal or homicidal urges.

The problem, I quickly realized, is that even prior to the operation, every time I thought about what Obama and his circus of trained fleas were doing to America, I was experiencing both urges simultaneously and constantly.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write