Biden, Baloney & Beheadings

On the chance that for one reason or another Hillary Clinton decides not to run in 2016, Joe Biden wants us all to know that, after spending most of his adult life at the public trough, he is willing to sacrifice his golden years to being president. It’s worth noting that he would be 72 years old when he’d move into the White House, meaning he would be 80 when he moved out. One look at Obama’s white hair should remind everyone that even a president who’s always taking off for Martha’s Vineyard or Hawaii, seems to age at supernatural speed.

Inasmuch as I’m 74, I wouldn’t want to hold his age against him, especially when there are so many other, even more compelling, reasons Biden shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near the Oval Office, even as a member of a tour group.

For one thing, although he was sold to us in 2008 as a man with a great deal of experience when it came to foreign affairs, as a senator he was inevitably wrong. And for the past six years, his chief function was cheerleading for the worst president in U.S. history. Will any of us ever forget the moment when the biggest potty-mouth in Washington leaned in close to Obama’s left ear and told him that the Affordable Care Act was “a big f—–g deal!”

In “The First Family Detail,” Ron Kessler’s latest book about the Secret Service, Kessler reminds us that in 2011, Obama put Biden in charge of cutting government waste. As executive decisions go, that ranks right up there with putting a fox in charge of the White House chicken coop. At least a fox wouldn’t cost taxpayers a quarter of a million dollars a year flying between the coop in Washington, D.C., and his den in Wilmington, Delaware. Furthermore, I very much doubt that — unlike Biden — any self-respecting fox would charge the Secret Service $2,200-a-month for the cottage that the agents assigned to protect him are forced to rent.

This is the same vice-president who spent Labor Day telling UAW members in Detroit: “It’s time to take back America.” His rallying cry drew predictable cheers from the assembled louts. But how is it possible that not even one person in the crowd raised his hand and asked, “Do you mean take it back from you and Obama?”

A Missouri state senator, Jamilah Nasheed, has been all over TV, insisting that Robert McCulloch can’t be trusted to prosecute the Michael Brown case for the novel reason that he didn’t win a majority of the black vote. I found that fascinating because Barack Obama didn’t win the majority of the white vote in 2008 or 2012. In fact, no Democratic presidential candidate has done so since LBJ back in 1964, which explains the Democrats’ endless pandering to black voters during the half century since then.

One of my readers, Penny Alfonso, has suggested that one of the most over-used expressions in America is the one that goes “We need to have a national conversation about (race) (guns) (police violence),” pointing out that, in spite of what Eric Holder claims to the contrary, we already have these conversations. They take place all the time at dinner tables, in the workplace, in taverns, ballparks and churches.

The fact is I hear from more people than most congressmen. What’s more, they hear back from me. In my experience, writing to one’s representative is a waste of a postage stamp. You either get a canned one-size-fits-all-occasions note or nothing at all.

Generally, when people call for a national conversation, they, like Attorney General Holder mean, shut up, listen to my litany of grievances, apologize for being (a racist), (a misogynist), (a homophobe), (a patriotic gun owner) or (a Christian) and admit the error of your ways.

Equally annoying is the statement to which so many members of this sleazy administration are addicted: “I can’t possibly comment in the midst of an ongoing investigation.”

Frankly, I don’t know why people decide to run off and be war correspondents, but I would suggest that anyone who decides that his destiny demands that he venture into Middle East conflicts pack a poison pill along with his toilet paper and bottled water. It would sure beat getting beheaded by some Muslim creep. And it certainly makes for a better obituary than one that happens to mention that your last words were propaganda statements attacking America.

Speaking of the Middle East, the king of Saudi Arabia recently said that people shouldn’t support terrorists. I’m not sure if you file that one under Irony or Hypocrisy. After all, the Saudi royal family has been paying off Muslim extortionists for decades in the hope that the Islamic alligators will eat them last.

Between Russia, China, North Korea, Iran and Syria, the world has become a very wicked place. But the truth is that since 1988, we’ve elected two Bushes, one Clinton and an Obama. So not only haven’t we been part of the solution, we’ve been a major part of the problem. I would suggest that you’d do better than that quartet by randomly picking four names out of the phonebook.

And as much joy as I get from kicking Obama in the shins every chance I get, and ridiculing his constant need to be playing golf and attending fundraisers, the only people I know who think they’re entitled to take five week summer vacations are the French and the members of Congress.

But at least the French know how to speak French, whereas most members of Congress can barely ask for directions to the bathroom in English.

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




“The Late Barack Obama” and “Proud To Be A Flat Earther”

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at 1 PM Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

I apologize if some of you read the title of this piece and leapt to the conclusion that Joe Biden had ascended to the Oval Office, not that that would be cause for dancing in the street. Biden, after all, is a great champion of the Affordable Care Act and has been wrong when it comes to foreign affairs for nearly as long as Obama has been alive.

No, I was referring to Obama’s lack of punctuality. He is not only late when it comes to delivering his annual budgets, laughable as they are, but he’s even late when it comes to delivering his speeches, and we all know how much he loves the sound of his own voice. I can’t count the times that someone at Fox News – usually Bret Baier – would announce that Obama was about to deliver a speech, and 10 minutes later, he still hadn’t shown up. The camera would show the microphone, but there’d be nobody there. Finally, he’d stroll in –no explanation, no apology – and there would still be nobody, just an empty suit at the microphone.

What it tells you when someone is habitually late is that he regards himself as not only more important than anyone else, but more important than everyone else.

Next, I’m afraid I have to be more careful about my jokes. For instance, a while ago I pointed out that the administration was boasting about the decrease in the rate of unemployment, while ignoring the fact that the decline was entirely attributable to the millions of Americans who had simply stopped seeking jobs. I predicted that if things continued that way, eventually both the employment and unemployment rates would be zero.

Almost before I got the words typed, we heard that ObamaCare would cost us 2.3 million jobs, while an increased minimum wage would cost between 500,000 and a million jobs. What’s worse, the Democrats are actually trying to stick a smiley face on it. Cripes, isn’t there anyone in this regime who can take a joke?

Nancy Pelosi insisted that the loss of all those jobs would be wonderful because people would be free to pursue their dreams, unless, of course, their dreams involved actually working fulltime and earning a decent living.

If you sit down and read the Constitution, you will find that our forefathers, employing remarkable prescience, protected us from just about every imaginable contingency. The one thing they couldn’t protect us from was ourselves – and the electoral power of the lazy, the ignorant, the greedy and the envious.

Kathleen Willey, one of the many women Bill Clinton sexually assaulted, has recently pointed out that his wife aided and abetted him every inch of the way, starting way back when he was still the governor of Arkansas. Whereas the Democrats never stop accusing Republicans of waging war on women, Ms. Willey is right on the money when she says that Hillary Clinton is the war on women.

She’s exactly right. Not content with trashing the women that her husband attacked, Hillary Clinton dismissed all the women who accused ex-Sen. Bob Packwood of similar actions as “whiners.” How he treated his female staffers was of absolutely no concern either to Mrs. Clinton or to her vile cohorts in NOW. What mattered was that Mrs. Clinton felt she needed his vote in the Senate in order to help pass HillaryCare. And let us not forget that it was HillaryCare, not RomneyCare, which was really the precursor to the nightmare we know as ObamaCare.

Honesty compels me to admit that I can’t stand anything about Mrs. Clinton, including her voice, her eyes and that awful grimace that passes for a smile. In fact, I have always felt that when it came to the Clintons, as with the Obamas, it was the wives who possessed the Y chromosome.

Speaking of males and females, a textbook used at South Carolina University insists that Ronald Reagan, who not only appointed a woman to be Ambassador to the U.N., but, unfortunately, saw to it that Sandra Day O’Connor would be the first female justice on the Supreme Court, was a misogynist. The partisan textbook aside, I doubt that any woman would stay married to a misogynist for 52 years, putting up with a ton of embarrassing crap, unless, of course, she felt she had to in order to run for president herself.

I do not understand why the House Republicans are so reluctant to use the one power they possess, that of the purse, to rein in Obama. After all, if your kid acts like a spoiled brat, you cut off his allowance, and there’s never been a bigger brat than the one acting up in the Oval Office.

Finally, I am not one to sniff at free market capitalism, but I nearly keeled over when I heard that an Oregon company is selling action figures of Edward Snowden, Julian Assange and Eric Holder. I don’t know about the others, but if you want your very own Snowden, it will cost you $99 or just $60, if you merely want the little head, perhaps to stick on a little pike.

After wondering why anyone would want any of these figures, assuming they’re not into voodoo, the next question that comes to mind is what actions would be the most appropriate. The best I could come up with is that you might wind up the Snowden doll and watch it run off to Russia; wind up Assange and watch it sneak into your private papers; or wind up Holder and watch it sell weapons to Mexican gangster dolls.

Proud To Be A Flat Earther

As you have probably heard, John Kerry, who is nearly as screwy as Al Gore, has announced that climate change “is the most dangerous, most fearsome, weapon of mass destruction.”

Inasmuch as Obama and his underlings have once again dragged out this bugaboo in hopes of currying favor with their base and redirecting attention away from the stench of the Affordable Care Act, it would be better described as a weapon of mass distraction.

Even if global warming, or whatever they’re calling it this week, wasn’t political chicanery posing as science, Obama, Kerry and the jack-booted thugs at the EPA, would be whistling in the wind. That’s because China, India and Indonesia, have no plans to shut down their coal-burning plants and withdraw quietly to the pre-industrial 19th century just so the brie-noshing, cabernet-swilling, swells can feel good about themselves. China, alone, for crying out loud, opens a new coal-burning plant every single week of the year.

Scuttling the coal industry in America will not only drive an economic stake through the heart of such states as Kentucky, Pennsylvania, Ohio and West Virginia, but send the energy costs of every American soaring through the stratosphere, just as Obama swore to do in 2008.

The fact is that even if not a single lump of coal were burned in the United States, it would have no more effect on the atmosphere than I would have on the world’s water supply if I only showered every other day.

Possibly the biggest victim of the weather hoax is science itself. When those seeking grants and tenure forsake any pretense of being truth seekers, and go along with the notion of science being based on consensus and actually use the toxic United Nations to seal the deal, you know you’re dealing with liars and fakers.

Furthermore, these are some of the same folks that couldn’t create a workable website in spite of blowing several hundred million dollars and wasting three years in the attempt. They are obviously in no position to label those who question their technological expertise as paid-up members of the Flat Earth Society, as Obama and Kerry do with annoying regularity.

It just strikes me that if you can’t even produce a viable website, you’re on very shaky ground when it comes to trying to screw around with the world’s weather.

In 2008, when Obama boasted that his energy policy would send energy costs skyrocketing — and still got elected – I assumed most people thought he was joshing. And when, as president, he unleashed the dogs of the EPA on the coal industry, I assumed most people sloughed it off as strictly between him and the folks in those coal mining states. But when he was re-elected last year, even carrying some of those very states, it merely convinced me that a lot of people can’t chew gum and vote at the same time.

Coal is responsible for 40% of our energy. If a foreign power had somehow deprived us of our coal supply, we would have gone to war with them. Well, not Obama, of course, but all our other commanders-in-chief would have. Hell, Obama wouldn’t have gone to war over Pearl Harbor

In case you’re not able to keep up with all the shenanigans Obama pulls off on behalf of those whose votes the Democrats require if they’re not going to follow the Whigs and Bull Moosers into the dustbin of history, he is opening gas stations offering free gas in 70 inner-city locations around the country.

Apparently, a little known provision of ObamaCare authorizes “improved transportation routes to hospitals.” As the regime’s argument goes, what good is this splendiferous new health care system if poor people can’t get themselves to the few remaining doctors? The first such station just opened, naturally, in Detroit. And, no, the customers, if you can even call them that, will not have to prove they’ll be using the gas to get to Henry Ford Hospital or Sinai-Grace.

The price tag attached to this giveaway is two billion dollars, and only a very backward child would believe it has any other purpose aside from persuading grateful recipients to use some of that gas to drive themselves to the voting booth on Election Day.

Finally, in case you missed the news, “Cover Oregon,” that state’s ObamaCare exchange, has spent $160 million and has yet to sign up a single person. In some quarters of the state, that has been the cause of high dudgeon, but I say, back off! After all, Obama blew nearly a trillion dollars on his stimulus bill and it led to no jobs, shovel ready or otherwise, and he’s still running victory laps over it.

The shmuck also wasted several hundred million of our tax dollars on Solyndra and other con games involving green energy, all for the benefit of his major campaign contributors.

It just seems to me that Oregonians who have twice voted overwhelmingly for Obama have no business getting all hissy over a paltry $160 million. One could say it’s merely a case of Oregon’s chickens answering that age old question by crossing the road in order to come home to roost.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




The %#@&$@# State of the Union

Because simply recovering from surgery that involved my hand, wrist and thumb, didn’t strike me as being all that challenging, I decided to add a case of the flu. And because even that didn’t seem to be daunting enough, I decided to throw caution to the wind, and watch Obama’s State of the Union Address. Predictably, that just about did me in.

My first impression was that I was watching something that could best be described as “Groundhog Year.” I mean, there were times during his 2014 Call to Action, I was certain that, thanks to my meds, I was hallucinating and reliving his earlier addresses to Congress. The words were the same, all about economic recovery, comprehensive immigration reform, income inequality and even, bless my soul, shutting down Guantanamo.

Even the backdrop was the same: John Boehner, looking twice as dark as Obama, and Joe Biden, pointing at folks in the audience, grinning like a ninny and listening for cues so he’d know when to hop up and be a cheerleader.

Frankly, when I listen to something as long and boring as a State of the Union Address, I begin to understand the attraction of being President. In what other endeavor could you hope to be that tedious and still have people interrupt a 68 minute speech 85 times to give you a standing ovation?

Heck, Obama has those chimps so well trained that even when he told them he was going to nullify Congress and the Constitution by legislating through executive fiat, he had them cheering. It would have been like French royals on their way to the guillotine shouting, “Long live Robespierre!”

It was as if Obama were refuting those who claim we’re on our way to being a banana republic by pointing out that we don’t have any bananas.

Obama said, “The American people want the government to focus on their lives.” Right, that’s why ObamaCare, the IRS and the NSA, are so darn popular. Maybe Sasha and Malia still need a Big Mama and a Big Daddy in their lives, but the rest of us can do very nicely without a Big Brother.

Finally, my suggestion to the GOP is that they end the tradition of following the Address with a rebuttal. Unlike many, I didn’t think that Rep. Kathy McMorris Rogers did an awful job. She seemed like a nice person and she set a nice tone, and she was certainly an improvement over Bobby Jindal, who came across like a teenage prankster who had snuck his way onto the set. The problem is that you can’t replicate the pomp and ceremony of speaking before the 535 members of Congress, the Joint Chiefs of Staff and those pathetic members of the Supreme Court who don’t mind being employed as political props.

So unless the GOP is going to go in an entirely different direction, perhaps involving jugglers, showgirls and a stand-up comic – something that actually gives people a reason to stay tuned, I suggest you leave it to people such as myself to rebut Obama.

Now that the Republicans in Congress have come up with their own proposals involving health care, trade, energy, Iran and immigration, I suggest it’s high time that Obama and Reid step aside and stop being obstructionists.

Because reading was giving me a headache, I have had to resort to watching a lot more TV than usual. As a result, I know something that may have somehow escaped your attention: they had two inches of snow in Atlanta. The way TV covered the event, you’d have thought a hurricane had leveled Chicago. Not that that would be a bad thing. Somehow, I couldn’t help wondering if Chris Christie would be found responsible for those traffic jams.

The one thought that kept occurring to me, but apparently not to the TV reporters, was that several thousand Atlanta cars and trucks were going to have to be steam-cleaned after being used as toilets for two days.

It also occurred to me that the common definition of insanity, constantly repeating the same action in the hope of a different result, could be fairly applied to those Republicans like myself who live in places like California, New York, Hawaii and Massachusetts, who continue voting in elections.

Never have I received so much email on any subject as I did on the day Henry Waxman announced his retirement. It was the way that people must have felt in 1945 when we got word that Japan had surrendered.

My own glee was restrained because I knew that the real problem wasn’t Waxman, as awful as he’s been; it was the voters who kept electing him for 40 years. Those schmoes will simply elect a younger version of Waxman.

Frankly, I’m amazed that Henry is quitting at the relatively young age of 75. After all, Charley Rangel is still hanging in there at 83 and John Dingell, 87, has socks older than Henry.

My theory is that after the heady days of Obama’s first administration when the Democrats ran everything and Henry, as an early supporter and a guy with tons of seniority, chaired several committees and was on TV nearly as often as Nancy Pelosi, being a member of the House minority has been an ongoing torment.

I’ll give the last word to my friend, Dr. Harry Maller. When he got the news of Waxman’s imminent departure, Doc theorized he was resigning in order to spend more time with his nose.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




Channeling Will Rogers

Because it’s been about 80 years since Will Rogers died in a plane crash, there are a lot of people who never heard of him even though he had been a major attraction in vaudeville, a movie star and a homespun columnist given to such observations as “The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”

But, to be fair, as wise as he was, Mr. Rogers never heard of ObamaCare. It’s also worth noting that when he uttered his most famous line, “I never met a man I didn’t like,” he had never met Barack Obama.

When he was a senator and the Republicans were in the majority, Obama, along with his liberal colleagues, Biden, Reid and Feinstein, insisted that if the GOP employed the nuclear option, meaning they would be able to make judicial appointments with just a simple majority of 51votes rather than a super majority of 60, it would be the act of tyrants and would knock the earth off its axis.

It seems that while the rest of us were worried about Iran obtaining and using a nuclear bomb, we made the mistake of taking our eyes off Harry Reid. I used to refer to the majority leader of the Senate as “the Mortician” because of the phony funereal tones he invariably adopts in his public pronouncements. Now it has become an even more appropriate nickname because of the way he’s gone about burying the rights of the minority members in the U.S. Senate.

Back in 2005, Sen. Obama said, putting words in George Bush’s mouth, “I’m going to interpret it this way or that way, however I like.” He went on: “This is part of the theory of George Bush, that he can make laws as he goes along. I disagree with that. I taught the Constitution for 10 years. I believe in the Constitution. I will obey the Constitution.”

The only thing I ever heard Obama say about the Constitution was that, like the Civil Rights movement, it fell short because it didn’t deal with the redistribution of wealth. But, then, Obama has changed his mind about a lot of things since moving into the White House. He decided, for instance, that the Patriot Act isn’t nearly as fascistic as he insisted it was when Bush was sitting in the Oval Office; that ObamaCare was so flexible that, on his mere say-so, businesses and unions were exempt from paying the same taxes as the rest of us; and that it’s not even slightly unpatriotic to raise the national debt from nine trillion dollars to 17 trillion dollars in five years, although he sure thought it was traitorous when the Republicans raised it from six trillion to nine trillion in eight years.

Recently, Obama hosted a sit-down with several of his fans in the media, so they could best decide how to put lipstick on the pig known as the Affordable Care Act. Just a few of the boobs he invited were Ed Schultz, Al Sharpton and Juan Williams. That’s some brain trust. Those guys don’t have a single working brain between them. I can only assume that Larry, Moe and Curly couldn’t make it to the meeting because they were busy elsewhere, poking each other in the eye.

But that’s what happens when you’re a narcissistic egotist who insists on being the smartest guy in the room. At some point, the other guys have to be so dumb they drool when they speak, and the room has to shrink all the way down to a closet.

Until everyone finally caught on to the fact that he lied and lied in order to shove ObamaCare down our throats, it was enough for his flunkies in the media to carry his water. But now that even the New York Times is beginning to catch on, it’s become a matter of bailing water to keep this administration afloat. But Obama is as water-logged as the Titanic, and not even Juan Williams has a bucket that large.

It’s worth noting that for over three years, while the Democrats danced around the Maypole, singing the praises of socialized medicine, it was known as “ObamaCare.” But, during the past few months, as we began discovering just how toxic it was, even Obama began calling his signature piece of legislation — the thing that Joe (“Potty Mouth”) Biden once bragged was “a f—ing big deal” — the “Affordable Care Act.”

But at the rate this thing is going south, don’t be too surprised if you wake up one day and find the New York Times and the sock puppets at MSNBC referring to it as BushCare.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




“Hip Hip Horray for Kryptonite!” and “A Mulligan Stew”

For nearly five years, I waited and wondered if anything would ever puncture the Teflon shell surrounding Obama. Nothing seemed capable of even denting the fortress erected by the media, the DNC and all his henchmen in Congress. The irony is that it was a weapon of his own making, the Affordable Care Act, that finally exploded the man and the manufactured myth.

I mean, when you consider all the things that had been successfully deflected, starting with the Stimulus and all those shovel-ready jobs; Cash for Clunkers; Operation Fast & Furious; the frequent multi-million dollar family vacations, deriding millions of Americans as “those who cling to their guns and their religion;” the tapping of phones here and abroad; the targeting of conservatives by the IRS; the Benghazi massacre and the ensuing cover-up; the coddling of enemies and the betrayal of allies; the redistribution of wealth; and the war on coal and oil; you could easily get the idea that Obama was as impenetrable as Superman.

But the fact is that just about every despot seems unbeatable, be it a Hitler, a Mussolini or a Saddam Hussein, until he finally gets his comeuppance.

In response to one of Barbara Walters’ patented softball questions, Obama said that Michelle would make a much better president than he. That gave the missus the opportunity to modestly deny it by insisting that she lacks his patience.

Actually, it’s the American people who have displayed enormous patience, putting up with this lazy amateur who has a Marxist agenda and a voice box where other people would be expected to have brains and character.

Still, if Obama was alerting Ms. Walters and the rest of us that Michelle plans to run in 2016, I couldn’t be happier. It would shape up as a great cat fight for the Democratic nomination. Michelle has height and reach, but Hillary has a lower center of gravity, sharp claws, and, what’s more, she will have had eight years in which to stoke her fury against those who rained on her coronation.

In other news, those who have built careers out of promoting the horrors of “global warming” and then” climate change” have seen their fantasies run smack into reality. It seems that for the first time in over 30 years, not a single Atlantic hurricane hit the U.S. mainland during the hurricane season, which officially ended at the end of November. Perhaps they’ll have to change the terminology once again to something along the lines of “climate change change.”

The one thing you can count on is that they won’t ever admit that their fears were groundless and their draconian solutions were not only prohibitively expensive, but intended to destroy business and industry. You might as well ask the fellow with a money tree to chop it down for firewood or the guy with a golden goose to roast it for Christmas dinner as to expect the weather lobby to confess its lies.

Perhaps the main victim of the weather hoax has been science, itself, because its practitioners have, by and large, shown their willingness to lie in order to feather their own nests with federal grants and professorships.

I liken the treaty Obama and Kerry are trying to make with Iran to the foolishness of the parole system. It’s only because the sanctions against Iran are finally taking effect that these schmucks have agreed to negotiate. But instead of unconditional surrender, we are showing a willingness to not only accept a slight slowdown in their race to a nuclear bomb, but to give them seven billion dollars.

If a bank robber or pervert doesn’t rob a bank or rape a child in prison, we knock years off his sentence and say it’s for good behavior. Good behavior should not be confused with lack of opportunity. The way it should work is that each prisoner serves his full sentence, and if he misbehaves, time is added on.

So it should be with Iran, which has never displayed good behavior in the 34 years the Islamics have controlled the government. From the day they overthrew the Shah, the mullahs have sponsored terrorism around the globe. I say, if the sanctions are working, the proper response is to ratchet them up until the Iranians destroy their centrifuges and turn over their uranium, not to negotiate in what makes a farce of good faith.

The fact that Obama and Kerry, along with their European stooges, are willing to overlook Iran’s stated intention to exterminate the Jews in Israel, thus completing the job begun by their favorite western leader, Adolf Hitler – should have stopped negotiations even before they began. Instead, considering how widespread anti-Semitism is in Europe and within this administration, I’m betting it provided them an added incentive to cut a deal.

Finally, as happens at the end of every year, the studios are sending DVDs to the members of the various guilds, hoping to garner our votes for the various awards that will soon be handed out. In my case, as a member of the WGA, I have thus far received 10 DVDs. In my estimation, not one of them is deserving of a writing award. Probably the best of them is “Blue Jasmine,” in which Woody Allen essentially takes “A Streetcar Named Desire” and sets it down in San Francisco, proving he is only slightly better at channeling Tennessee Williams than he was at channeling Ingmar Bergman.

The worst of them is “The Butler,” in which we are shown a racist version of American history from the mid-1950s through Obama’s election, as seen through the eyes of a black butler serving in the White House. There are so many things wrong with the movie, I won’t go into them now, except to say that, as with “The Color Purple,” this is a movie in which you are hard-pressed to find a single decent white character. So it is no surprise that Oprah Winfrey has a featured role, especially considering that she recently said that the only way for racism to disappear from America is for the older white generation to die away.

I can’t help wondering how all those older white women who spent years kissing her butt and making her a billionaire feel about Oprah now that she no longer needs them for ratings.

A MULLIGAN STEW

Thanks to Obama and his army of liberal pinheads, I’m never allowed a moment’s peace. Even with my bad wing, I’m constantly scribbling little notes to myself, reminding myself of their mischief. In no time at all, so many notes pile up that I have to clear the decks, lest I be buried in an avalanche of paper.

So, for openers, I would now very much like to see Obama impeached for committing financial fraud, which I believe falls under the heading of high crimes and misdemeanors. We have proof from as far back as his filmed exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor back in 2010 that he knew the Affordable Care Act would deprive people of their health insurance and their personal physicians, although he continued to lie about it on at least 40 occasions in his attempt to bring socialized medicine to America, while simultaneously gobbling up a sixth of the economy.

Also, why haven’t any Republicans filed a suit with the Supreme Court questioning Obama’s constitutional authority to arbitrarily excuse business owners and unions from paying a federal tax that’s being levied on the rest of us?

Speaking of those who feel free to abide by their own rules, a group calling itself HALT (Help Abolish Legal Tyranny) has turned a spotlight on the legal profession, and come to the conclusion that the Mafia does a far better job of policing itself than do the state Bar Associations. Probably no group, with the possible exception of Congress, is likelier to turn a blind eye to the misdeeds committed by its members. (Speaking of which, I recall a few years ago that the House found Rep. Charles Rangel guilty of 10 or 11 charges, including income tax evasion. His punishment, if I recall correctly, is that they postponed a testimonial dinner in his honor.)

On its state-by-state report card, HALT bestowed no grade higher than a B. Those went to Arizona, Colorado and Vermont. The majority of states, including California and New York, earned Ds. Utah, where I can only imagine lawyers are allowed to cheat at cards and literally get away with murder, received an F.

In Sioux Falls, South Dakota, the board of education decided there wasn’t time during a school day for high school students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. They have time to hold pep rallies for their sports teams, but not the time to hold one for the nation for which their fathers and grandfathers fought and often died. I suppose the members of the board decided it wouldn’t be fair to ask the kids to postpone texting “Luv ur nu nose ring” for even 10 seconds a day.

Liberals were always pressing George Bush to come clean on his mistakes, as if they were a combination of an old-fashioned school marm and Cotton Mather, but they, themselves, never acknowledge their own shortcomings because they always believe they are not only right, but smarter than everyone else and invariably on the side of the angels. Thus, when their inept tinkering with the economy, health care, immigration, green energy or gun laws, don’t turn out the way they envisioned, it never even occurs to them that a different approach might be called for; instead, they assume that all that’s required to change the outcome are, one, a better set of lies and, two, a larger expenditure of our tax dollars.

To give you a fair idea of how deviant most liberals are, you merely have to notice how disturbed they are by traditional displays involving Christmas and Chanukah, while remaining calm, cool and collected, when it comes to pornography, obscenity and the worst excesses of a fascistic administration.

They are equally copacetic when it comes to the black mobs terrorizing just about every major American city, where the robbery, murder and rape, stats among black teenagers are soaring. What’s worse, the crimes were inevitable. After decades of Democrats turning a blind eye to absentee fathers, contempt for education, a 70% illegitimacy birth rate and a culture that promotes misogyny, obscenity and drugs; while all the while race pimps like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson constantly reminded them they were the innocent victims of crackers and honkeys, it’s no wonder we’ve wound up with “Lord of the Flies” in black face.

Because he was assassinated 50 years ago, John Kennedy has recently come in for a great deal of renewed attention. The thing that has set off alarm bells for me is the contention by left-wing radicals that he was one of them. Even though he was religious, promoted a strong military and favored lower taxes, left-wingers would have you believe he wasn’t a conservative. There was in fact little in his record that would have differentiated him from Ronald Reagan, aside from the fact Kennedy took an active role, not acting roles, during World War II.

When he pushed for Civil Rights legislation, Kennedy actually had more in common with Republicans than he did with his fellow Democrats. But of course when JFK was speaking about those rights, he meant equality under the law when it came to employment, education and voting. It was only after he was killed that Lyndon Johnson was able to hijack the issue as political currency for himself and future generations of political hacks.

When it comes to labeling JFK a liberal, lunkheads such as Jeff Greenfield and Oliver Stone have to channel their inner Nostradamus and predict what he would have done in the future, while ignoring what he had done during the first three years of his administration. They’re convinced, for instance, that he would have pulled out of Vietnam even though he increased our military presence when he was alive. They also believe he would have unilaterally ended the Cold War even though his greatest achievement had consisted of risking a war with the Soviet Union, the nation he referred to as “the Evil Empire” 20 years before Reagan did the same, by facing down Nikita Khrushchev and forcing him to pull his nuclear missiles out of Cuba.

Greenfield and Stone should also keep in mind that just four months prior to his assassination, JFK flew to West Germany, not East Germany, to announce, on behalf of freedom-lovers everywhere, “Ich bin ein Berliner,” four little words that totally frosted the Russkies.

Finally, every time I see Joe Biden turn his loving gaze on Barack Obama, I’m reminded of the way that wives of politicians are trained to look adoringly at their hubbies – especially after one of the pigs has been caught up in some sleazy sex scandal.

Of course in Biden’s case, he may have perfected his routine by simply watching how Obama reacts whenever he happens to pass a mirror.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.