“Hip Hip Horray for Kryptonite!” and “A Mulligan Stew”

For nearly five years, I waited and wondered if anything would ever puncture the Teflon shell surrounding Obama. Nothing seemed capable of even denting the fortress erected by the media, the DNC and all his henchmen in Congress. The irony is that it was a weapon of his own making, the Affordable Care Act, that finally exploded the man and the manufactured myth.

I mean, when you consider all the things that had been successfully deflected, starting with the Stimulus and all those shovel-ready jobs; Cash for Clunkers; Operation Fast & Furious; the frequent multi-million dollar family vacations, deriding millions of Americans as “those who cling to their guns and their religion;” the tapping of phones here and abroad; the targeting of conservatives by the IRS; the Benghazi massacre and the ensuing cover-up; the coddling of enemies and the betrayal of allies; the redistribution of wealth; and the war on coal and oil; you could easily get the idea that Obama was as impenetrable as Superman.

But the fact is that just about every despot seems unbeatable, be it a Hitler, a Mussolini or a Saddam Hussein, until he finally gets his comeuppance.

In response to one of Barbara Walters’ patented softball questions, Obama said that Michelle would make a much better president than he. That gave the missus the opportunity to modestly deny it by insisting that she lacks his patience.

Actually, it’s the American people who have displayed enormous patience, putting up with this lazy amateur who has a Marxist agenda and a voice box where other people would be expected to have brains and character.

Still, if Obama was alerting Ms. Walters and the rest of us that Michelle plans to run in 2016, I couldn’t be happier. It would shape up as a great cat fight for the Democratic nomination. Michelle has height and reach, but Hillary has a lower center of gravity, sharp claws, and, what’s more, she will have had eight years in which to stoke her fury against those who rained on her coronation.

In other news, those who have built careers out of promoting the horrors of “global warming” and then” climate change” have seen their fantasies run smack into reality. It seems that for the first time in over 30 years, not a single Atlantic hurricane hit the U.S. mainland during the hurricane season, which officially ended at the end of November. Perhaps they’ll have to change the terminology once again to something along the lines of “climate change change.”

The one thing you can count on is that they won’t ever admit that their fears were groundless and their draconian solutions were not only prohibitively expensive, but intended to destroy business and industry. You might as well ask the fellow with a money tree to chop it down for firewood or the guy with a golden goose to roast it for Christmas dinner as to expect the weather lobby to confess its lies.

Perhaps the main victim of the weather hoax has been science, itself, because its practitioners have, by and large, shown their willingness to lie in order to feather their own nests with federal grants and professorships.

I liken the treaty Obama and Kerry are trying to make with Iran to the foolishness of the parole system. It’s only because the sanctions against Iran are finally taking effect that these schmucks have agreed to negotiate. But instead of unconditional surrender, we are showing a willingness to not only accept a slight slowdown in their race to a nuclear bomb, but to give them seven billion dollars.

If a bank robber or pervert doesn’t rob a bank or rape a child in prison, we knock years off his sentence and say it’s for good behavior. Good behavior should not be confused with lack of opportunity. The way it should work is that each prisoner serves his full sentence, and if he misbehaves, time is added on.

So it should be with Iran, which has never displayed good behavior in the 34 years the Islamics have controlled the government. From the day they overthrew the Shah, the mullahs have sponsored terrorism around the globe. I say, if the sanctions are working, the proper response is to ratchet them up until the Iranians destroy their centrifuges and turn over their uranium, not to negotiate in what makes a farce of good faith.

The fact that Obama and Kerry, along with their European stooges, are willing to overlook Iran’s stated intention to exterminate the Jews in Israel, thus completing the job begun by their favorite western leader, Adolf Hitler – should have stopped negotiations even before they began. Instead, considering how widespread anti-Semitism is in Europe and within this administration, I’m betting it provided them an added incentive to cut a deal.

Finally, as happens at the end of every year, the studios are sending DVDs to the members of the various guilds, hoping to garner our votes for the various awards that will soon be handed out. In my case, as a member of the WGA, I have thus far received 10 DVDs. In my estimation, not one of them is deserving of a writing award. Probably the best of them is “Blue Jasmine,” in which Woody Allen essentially takes “A Streetcar Named Desire” and sets it down in San Francisco, proving he is only slightly better at channeling Tennessee Williams than he was at channeling Ingmar Bergman.

The worst of them is “The Butler,” in which we are shown a racist version of American history from the mid-1950s through Obama’s election, as seen through the eyes of a black butler serving in the White House. There are so many things wrong with the movie, I won’t go into them now, except to say that, as with “The Color Purple,” this is a movie in which you are hard-pressed to find a single decent white character. So it is no surprise that Oprah Winfrey has a featured role, especially considering that she recently said that the only way for racism to disappear from America is for the older white generation to die away.

I can’t help wondering how all those older white women who spent years kissing her butt and making her a billionaire feel about Oprah now that she no longer needs them for ratings.

A MULLIGAN STEW

Thanks to Obama and his army of liberal pinheads, I’m never allowed a moment’s peace. Even with my bad wing, I’m constantly scribbling little notes to myself, reminding myself of their mischief. In no time at all, so many notes pile up that I have to clear the decks, lest I be buried in an avalanche of paper.

So, for openers, I would now very much like to see Obama impeached for committing financial fraud, which I believe falls under the heading of high crimes and misdemeanors. We have proof from as far back as his filmed exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor back in 2010 that he knew the Affordable Care Act would deprive people of their health insurance and their personal physicians, although he continued to lie about it on at least 40 occasions in his attempt to bring socialized medicine to America, while simultaneously gobbling up a sixth of the economy.

Also, why haven’t any Republicans filed a suit with the Supreme Court questioning Obama’s constitutional authority to arbitrarily excuse business owners and unions from paying a federal tax that’s being levied on the rest of us?

Speaking of those who feel free to abide by their own rules, a group calling itself HALT (Help Abolish Legal Tyranny) has turned a spotlight on the legal profession, and come to the conclusion that the Mafia does a far better job of policing itself than do the state Bar Associations. Probably no group, with the possible exception of Congress, is likelier to turn a blind eye to the misdeeds committed by its members. (Speaking of which, I recall a few years ago that the House found Rep. Charles Rangel guilty of 10 or 11 charges, including income tax evasion. His punishment, if I recall correctly, is that they postponed a testimonial dinner in his honor.)

On its state-by-state report card, HALT bestowed no grade higher than a B. Those went to Arizona, Colorado and Vermont. The majority of states, including California and New York, earned Ds. Utah, where I can only imagine lawyers are allowed to cheat at cards and literally get away with murder, received an F.

In Sioux Falls, South Dakota, the board of education decided there wasn’t time during a school day for high school students to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. They have time to hold pep rallies for their sports teams, but not the time to hold one for the nation for which their fathers and grandfathers fought and often died. I suppose the members of the board decided it wouldn’t be fair to ask the kids to postpone texting “Luv ur nu nose ring” for even 10 seconds a day.

Liberals were always pressing George Bush to come clean on his mistakes, as if they were a combination of an old-fashioned school marm and Cotton Mather, but they, themselves, never acknowledge their own shortcomings because they always believe they are not only right, but smarter than everyone else and invariably on the side of the angels. Thus, when their inept tinkering with the economy, health care, immigration, green energy or gun laws, don’t turn out the way they envisioned, it never even occurs to them that a different approach might be called for; instead, they assume that all that’s required to change the outcome are, one, a better set of lies and, two, a larger expenditure of our tax dollars.

To give you a fair idea of how deviant most liberals are, you merely have to notice how disturbed they are by traditional displays involving Christmas and Chanukah, while remaining calm, cool and collected, when it comes to pornography, obscenity and the worst excesses of a fascistic administration.

They are equally copacetic when it comes to the black mobs terrorizing just about every major American city, where the robbery, murder and rape, stats among black teenagers are soaring. What’s worse, the crimes were inevitable. After decades of Democrats turning a blind eye to absentee fathers, contempt for education, a 70% illegitimacy birth rate and a culture that promotes misogyny, obscenity and drugs; while all the while race pimps like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson constantly reminded them they were the innocent victims of crackers and honkeys, it’s no wonder we’ve wound up with “Lord of the Flies” in black face.

Because he was assassinated 50 years ago, John Kennedy has recently come in for a great deal of renewed attention. The thing that has set off alarm bells for me is the contention by left-wing radicals that he was one of them. Even though he was religious, promoted a strong military and favored lower taxes, left-wingers would have you believe he wasn’t a conservative. There was in fact little in his record that would have differentiated him from Ronald Reagan, aside from the fact Kennedy took an active role, not acting roles, during World War II.

When he pushed for Civil Rights legislation, Kennedy actually had more in common with Republicans than he did with his fellow Democrats. But of course when JFK was speaking about those rights, he meant equality under the law when it came to employment, education and voting. It was only after he was killed that Lyndon Johnson was able to hijack the issue as political currency for himself and future generations of political hacks.

When it comes to labeling JFK a liberal, lunkheads such as Jeff Greenfield and Oliver Stone have to channel their inner Nostradamus and predict what he would have done in the future, while ignoring what he had done during the first three years of his administration. They’re convinced, for instance, that he would have pulled out of Vietnam even though he increased our military presence when he was alive. They also believe he would have unilaterally ended the Cold War even though his greatest achievement had consisted of risking a war with the Soviet Union, the nation he referred to as “the Evil Empire” 20 years before Reagan did the same, by facing down Nikita Khrushchev and forcing him to pull his nuclear missiles out of Cuba.

Greenfield and Stone should also keep in mind that just four months prior to his assassination, JFK flew to West Germany, not East Germany, to announce, on behalf of freedom-lovers everywhere, “Ich bin ein Berliner,” four little words that totally frosted the Russkies.

Finally, every time I see Joe Biden turn his loving gaze on Barack Obama, I’m reminded of the way that wives of politicians are trained to look adoringly at their hubbies – especially after one of the pigs has been caught up in some sleazy sex scandal.

Of course in Biden’s case, he may have perfected his routine by simply watching how Obama reacts whenever he happens to pass a mirror.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




There’s Something Worse Than Lawyers

I confess that’s a somewhat misleading title because there are lots of things worse than lawyers. But, in addition to cold sores, computer breakdowns and a flare-up of my rheumatoid arthritis, they tend to be actual criminals.

The folks I have in mind are the academics, those escapees from college campuses who tend to congregate around Barack Obama. It’s almost as if Obama has made a pledge, vowing never to allow a person who has been actively engaged in, say, commerce into his inner circle.

It’s not that academic types are terrible people, it’s that they have little or no life experience that enables them to base their opinions on anything other than theory. And the trouble with theories is that they are unproven.

The result of Obama’s latest campus trolling is Samantha Power, who taught at Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, and is now the person he has selected to replace serial liar Susan Rice as our ambassador to the U.N.

While her champions like to point out that Ms. Power served on Obama’s high-sounding Atrocity Prevention Board as its first director, it’s an inconvenient truth that the Board remained strangely silent while thousands of civilians were slaughtered in Syria and the Sudanese government massacred countless Nuba tribal members in South Sudan.

What Ms. Power’s fans are reluctant to mention is that she recommended that the U.S. should invade Israel militarily in order to bring about a settlement to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and protect a new state of Palestine.

To be fair, in 2008, Powers did call Hillary Clinton a monster. So she’s not all bad.

Still, as a matter of policy, I would prevent anyone who has ever been a member of a college faculty from holding a position in government. I would also exclude anyone who has ever attended an Ivy League school. Nothing good, after all, can ever come of feeding the egos of the terminally egotistical. It’s not ivory towers we need to worry about so much as ivy-covered towers.

When I attended UCLA, I had a classmate who went on to get his graduate degree at Brown and then wound up at the University of Michigan, where he spent the next several decades teaching and writing the sort of fatuous poetry filled with references to old Greek deities. Starting at the age of six, he was rarely far removed from one school or another, except for vacations, until it came time to retire. As a result, he thought and spoke exactly as he had as a pretentious, but empty-headed, teenager. Perhaps if you’re teaching poetry to undergrads, none of that really matters. It does, however, when it comes to having a say in determining national policy.

Speaking of which, until Federal Judge Michael Baylson over-ruled her, Secretary of Health and Human Resources Kathleen Sebelius was going to deprive 10-year-old Sarah Murnaghan of her shot at ever making it to 11. The only good thing to be said for Sebelius is that she gave us a pretty clear picture of what life under ObamaCare will be like.

When mushy-headed people insist that crime and violence have everything to do with poverty, nothing to do with race, you have to wonder how they explain that blacks committed 80% of the shootings in New York City last year, with 18% committed by Hispanics. Are there no poor white people in New York? Isn’t it just possible that violence has more to do with illegitimacy rates; an absence of discipline in homes without a father’s presence; and a lack of not only education, but religious values, than with money?

I have a lot more questions awaiting answers. For instance, inasmuch as the IRS started targeting conservative groups in 2011, I have to suspect those groups complained to their Republican senators and congressmen. So why is it that until recently the rest of us never heard about those dirty tricks? Why weren’t Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, John McCain, and all those other folks who have bully pulpits and love to hear the sound of their own voices, screaming their heads off about it?

Next, does Bill O’Reilly have to pay the going rate for commercial time on Fox to endlessly peddle his books, caps and coffee mugs? If not, why not?

Finally, why is it that liberals are never called fascists in public? After all, Harry Belafonte told Al Sharpton over at MSNBC that Obama should throw all of his political opponents in jail. He went on to describe Republicans as “an infestation,” a mighty big word for the “Banana Boat” man.

Bette Midler, upon learning that the Internal Revenue Service had targeted conservative groups, announced “I love the IRS,” four words that had never before been uttered in the course of human history.

Writer-director Nicholas Meyer, who prides himself on being a free speech advocate, declared that he was absolutely delighted that conservatives were now being blacklisted in Hollywood. I guess that would be Constitutional Amendment 1A, the one guaranteeing free speech for Nick Meyer.

Speaking of blacklists, when it was discovered that the director of the California Musical Theater, Scott Eckern, opposed same-sex marriage, Marc Shaiman, composer of “Hairspray,” and Jeffrey Seller, producer of “Avenue Q,” demanded he be fired. He was.

One can’t help reflecting that it was so much easier in the old days when you could recognize the bad guys by their black boots and Nazi armbands.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.