Crime Watch

Barack Obama insisted he would not negotiate with House Republicans so long as they allow the government shutdown to continue because they were holding a gun to the heads of the American people. Have you noticed how everything with this schmuck comes back to guns?

As I sit here, I have no idea how the shutdown will play out. But speaking of guns, I hope the Republicans stick to theirs. For one thing, I don’t see any harm in an occasional shutdown. For another thing, it’s always a relief when politicians aren’t on the job, creating mischief. For a third thing, I get a kick out of it when they separate bureaucrats into essential and non-essential, and I’m always left wondering what possible excuse there is for allowing the non-essential ones to return from their paid vacations.

The truth, of course, is that when Obama claims that the reason he can’t negotiate with Republicans is because they insist on getting 100% of what they want, he really means that they refuse to give him 100% of what he wants. It was bad enough when Reagan got conned by the Democrats in 1986 into signing the amnesty bill, trusting they’d keep their promise to lock down the southern border. But any politician with an (R) after his name who believes that Obama will ever negotiate in good faith should change his party affiliation because he’s simply too dumb to be a Republican.

Speaking of dumb, all the really stupid crooks aren’t to be found in Washington, D.C. For instance, Ilyass Nabeh and Thoau Sengsoulya were arrested after shooting up heroin while parked in front of the Lawrence, MA, police station. It makes you wonder what their attorney could possibly say on their behalf. Roll out the old double dare defense?

Then there’s James Crittendon, who set a gas station toilet on fire for what he claimed were religious reasons, and because the Constitution says he could. Rumor has it that Obama has him on his short list for when Ruth Bader Ginsburg finally retires.

That brings us to William H. Masters III, the son of the controversial sex researcher who achieved fame as half of Masters and Johnson. It seems the fruitcake doesn’t fall far from the Christmas tree, as William III was charged with exposing himself to a couple of women in Michigan. In his case, I assume his counsel will insist his client was merely doing field research. The problem is that Masters had been arrested on a similar charge four months earlier in New York’s Central Park.

Although I am a fan of movies made in the 30s and 40s, a recurring problem I had with them is that the hero was often paired up with a really stupid sidekick, who was supposed to provide comic relief. Unfortunately, whether the character was portrayed by Mantan Moreland, Keye Luke, Allen Jenkins, Cliff Edwards or even Nigel Bruce, one could only sit there and wonder how any sane person could bear to spend even 10 minutes in their presence, let alone keep them around like a family pet. I feel the same way whenever I see the oafish gang with whom Obama chooses to surround himself. I mean, even if you get past the likes of Joe Biden, Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, you’re still left with that collection of Cabinet loons who troop in every other day to smooch the presidential heinie.

I’m willing to wager that when most Americans heard the acceptance speech Ashton Kutcher delivered when he received his Nickelodeon Teen Choice Award in August, they assumed, without knowing his party affiliation, that the man who said to his teenage fans, “I believe that opportunity looks a lot like hard work. I never had a job in my life that I was better than. I was always just lucky to have a job. And every job I had was a steppingstone to my next job, and I never quit my job until I had that next job.” was very likely a conservative. And when he added, “The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart, and being thoughtful and being generous,” they were convinced of it.

We’ve all heard that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. But so is. I realized recently, the road to heaven. So it’s my contention that it all really comes down to the person on the road and the final destination he has in mind.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write