“Highly Implausible Deniability” and “The Ever-Expanding Gender Gap”

Barack Obama, mainly through his sock puppet Jay Carney, claims he knew nothing about Operation Fast & Furious; the tapping of the AP phones; Ambassador Steven’s request for additional security in Benghazi; the NSA spying on our allies; the suspension of military death benefits; the targeting of conservatives by the IRS; or the problems with the ObamaCare rollout.

But Democrats continue to insist he is the smartest guy in the world. Hell, he isn’t even the brightest individual in the room if the First Dog, Bo, wanders into the Oval Office searching for his chew toy.

The biggest question about Obama is whether he’s simply dumb or just plain lazy. We keep hearing that he isn’t into details. If you’re a fan, that means he concentrates on the big picture, while delegating implementation of his agenda to his legion of go-fers, including Pelosi, Reid, Kerry and Holder. If you’re not a fan, you’re more likely to assume that, being the stereotypical recipient of affirmative action, he has gotten away with skating for the past 35 years, counting on his race and his arrogant grin to get him where he enjoys being; namely, devoting almost every waking hour to the campaign trail, soaking up the adoration of left-wing nincompoops.

It’s hard to avoid the irony of Richard Nixon having been impeached for bugging the phones in a single office when Obama gets away with bugging every phone in the world.

Speaking of bugs, Sean Penn accused Tea Party Republicans and conservatives in general of being uneducated. For the record, Penn’s own academic resume consists of dropping out of a community college after, by his own admission, taking a few classes in auto repair.

As you may have noticed, the FBI and the State Department refused to allow survivors of the Benghazi massacre to testify before Congress because, they claimed, it might jeopardize trials involving the terrorists. They did this in spite of the fact that even more than a year after the killing of four Americans, not one of the Muslim creeps has even been captured.

As bad as that is, even when a congressional committee manages to get someone to testify, they conduct the hearing like the egotistical little jerks they are, devoting most of the time to jousting with one another for face time on TV. Whether the witness is Hillary Clinton, Lois Lerner, Eric Holder or Kathleen Sebelius, they should appoint one of their members, preferably a former prosecuting attorney, to grill these weasels the same way he or she would in a criminal court.

I wonder how many more federal agencies we will have to hear about, wasting millions of tax dollars on goofy conferences, before the revolution begins. It seems as if every other week, some department feels the need to fly off to a resort for a morale-boosting get-together. I say if receiving fat salaries, huge pensions and an exemption from ObamaCare, isn’t enough of a morale-booster for these clowns, what they really need to do is find another job, not sit through a puerile spoof of “Patton” or “Star Trek.”

In fact, if they had half a brain, they would run for office. That’s where the real gravy is. For instance, although poll taxes have been done away with, there is something you might call a toll tax in D.C. Not too long ago, House Speaker John Boehner sat on a popular piece of legislation that prevented a tax on cell phone calls. That is, he sat on it until lobbyists for AT&T came through with $60,000 for his war chest. The very next day, the other 434 members of Congress were finally allowed to vote on the bill.

Or take Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who didn’t require a mortgage when he purchased his luxurious suite at the Ritz-Carlton. That’s because he paid the $750,000 in cash!

Finally, on my weekly webcast, a left-wing booby called in and attempted to deliver a filibuster on behalf of global warming. Fortunately, I was able to pull the plug when he refused to let me sneak a word in edgewise. In hastening his departure, I pointed out that, like Ronald Reagan, I had paid for the microphone. What shocked me, though, was that someone was still bloviating about global warming. I thought all the environmental zealots had changed their mantra to climate change, once even Al Gore had to acknowledge that the earth’s temperature had begun cooling down over the past 15 years.

What I tried to tell this oaf was that science is not a matter of consensus, as he was insisting. Everything in science is merely a theory until empirical evidence either confirms or refutes it. And as soon as anyone starts tossing around words like “consensus” or “the majority of experts agree,” you better open your umbrella because it isn’t raining rain, you know, it’s raining manure.

But I also would have suggested that he ask himself this question: In the current political climate, who is more likely to be telling the unvarnished truth – those who deny that man is responsible for altering the earth’s temperatures, thus ensuring they will be the last hired and the first derided; or those who toe the party line, thereby ensuring themselves federal grants, professorships and the camaraderie of left-wing academics and bureaucratic buffoons?

The Ever-Expanding Gender Gap

Although I readily acknowledge that there are many things that women do as well or better than men, voting is not one of them. Moreover, things only seem to be getting worse.

In 2008, women gave Obama 56% of their votes, a mere 43% to McCain, while men at least made it close, 49%-48%. But whereas men came to their senses last November, voting for Romney 52%-45%, the women remained faithful to the cool dude by a 55%-44% margin.

As you may have noticed, it was also the ladies of Virginia who provided the margin of victory for Terry McAuliffe, whose only claim to fame was having served as a bagman for the Clintons.

I’m not suggesting we repeal the 19th Amendment. After all, it’s mainly young, single women who are causing all the havoc. They are like the members of some weird secular convent, but instead of being betrothed to Jesus, their hearts all belong to Obama.

Still, when it comes to young women, I blame the parents. Clearly conservatives are doing a lousy job of raising their daughters. So, a word of advice: Instead of wasting all your time complaining about their clothes, their music and their hair, it’s time you folks got busy counteracting the vile bilge they’re being force-fed in their schools. With any luck at all, they will soon outgrow their silly fads and fashions, but you can’t bank on that miraculous change occurring when it comes to politics and patriotism.

Lest you get the idea that I’m only willing to disenfranchise others for the sake of our nation’s future, let me hasten to say I’d be willing to surrender my own voting privileges if they would also be canceled for my fellow Jews, 70-80% of whom will vote for any radical leftist — such as New York’s new mayor, Bill De Blasio — with a (D) after his or her name.

As for black voters, don’t get me started.

As for the reason why the overwhelming majority of my fellow Jews vote for Democrats, it’s because Vermont’s Sen. Bernie Sanders is the only goofball candid enough to actually identify himself as a Socialist.

It still confounds me that this administration decided to cut off military aid to Egypt. The stated reason is that its Army deposed a duly-elected leader. One would think that an exception would be made in the case of Mohamed Morsi, who had proven to be a puppet of the Muslim Brotherhood and who had shown during his first year in office that he intended to turn Egypt into an Iranian-like theocracy. Would we have turned our back on Venezuela if the military had gotten rid of Hugo Chavez and made conciliatory noises in our direction?

I know that national leaders who may disagree about everything else speak as one when it comes to the sanctity of life (of national leaders), but how dare we punish the Egyptians for no other reason than that they rid themselves of a dictator who was allied with America’s sworn enemies in the only way possible!

Wouldn’t you think that at least one Democrat would have the integrity to say that the Republicans were right to demand the postponement of ObamaCare, and that the shutdown of the government could have been avoided if only Obama, Sebelius and Reid, had had the intestinal fortitude to admit that the Affordable Care Act wasn’t anywhere near ready for primetime?

But, no, instead the whole sleazy bunch of them try to pretend that when Obama lied about people being able to keep their health plans and their doctors, what he really meant was that they wouldn’t be able to keep either! I’m aware that those Democrats up for re-election next year are getting nervous, but not one of them has had the gumption to call Obama a liar or to admit that Ted Cruz was actually doing them a favor by asking for a one-year postponement.

I am equally disgusted with Republicans who have such an overinflated and infantile respect for the office of the presidency they feel they must refrain from using words such as “liar,” “thug,” “bully” and “hypocrite” – none of which is even slightly obscene – to describe Obama. A free people should not confuse their beloved nation with some bumbling leftist just because he happens to have won a popularity contest.

As Ronald Reagan so deftly pointed out, the government is not the solution, it’s the problem. What’s more, it’s far truer today than when he said it.

Finally, while I don’t happen to know if, along with mammograms for men, prenatal care for elderly women, contraception for nuns and rehab for Mormons, ObamaCare offers psychotherapy to those eight or nine people who have somehow managed to enroll. But I do know that if anyone is in need of a mental health provider, it’s ObamaCare itself. It’s been a traumatic month or two, and all the indicators suggest things are only going to get worse.

Considering how gung-ho the Democrats are when it comes to abortions, they would have been wise to have killed Obama’s signature piece of legislation before this spawn of Satan’s had a chance to cost them seats in the House and their majority in the Senate.

On the other hand, although it took a heck of a long time, at long last, Obama was finally right about something. The Affordable Care Act really is great for America. Just not the way he meant it.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Obama’s De-Nile

I would like to spend a little time wandering through those weird cavernous echo chambers that pass for brains in the skulls of Obama, Kerry, John McCain and Lindsey Graham. But only if I knew I could get out and not be trapped inside with all those stalagmites.

While the Republican pinheads speak of reconciliation of all parties in Egypt, the Democrats wring their hands over the “rolling back of human rights” and the refusal of the military to allow for “peaceful demonstrations.” On what bizarre planet do these ignoramuses live? And is there sufficient oxygen to support human life?

For McCain and his mini-me, Lindsey Graham, to spout off insisting that all sides agree to form a united Egypt borders on the psychotic. Just exactly how are the opposing parties in Egypt – those who yearn for a secular democracy and those who crave a nation governed by Sharia law – supposed to come together? What sort of compromise would McCain suggest? A government run sanely three-and-a-half days a week, with Islamic lunacy controlling things the other 84 hours?

But never let it be said that the Democrats will ever allow the Republicans to hog all the foolishness. It is, in fact, the one area in which bi-partisanship carries the day in our nation’s capital. Let the Republicans insist on mortal enemies coming together and setting aside their mortal differences, and you can count on the Democrats referring to “peaceful protest,” while turning a blind eye to the rampant vandalism by the Muslim Brotherhood and their burning nearly two dozen Coptic Christian churches in Egypt.

As for those precious human rights that Obama is convinced the military is denying to 85 million Egyptians, it didn’t seem to faze him when those rights were being denied by Mohamed Morsi during the year after he was narrowly elected. Did Obama think that millions of Egyptians had taken to the streets because they didn’t like Morsi’s beard? Did it never even enter his puny little mind that it might have had something to do with the fact that Morsi was shredding the Egyptian constitution, imprisoning journalists and imposing a theocratic dictatorship?

To be fair, those might seem to be trivial matters to a president who used the IRS to punish his political foes and the Justice Department to snoop on reporters and lie about it to Congress; while he, himself, has shown only contempt for the laws of our nation, whether they involve shipping arms to Mexico, ignoring drug-related felonies or abandoning even the pretense of guarding our border.

Still, why is it that so many of our politicians, on both sides of the aisle, insist on pretending that the Muslim Brotherhood is just another political party? It is clearly a terrorist organization, no more benign than Al Qaeda or Hezbollah. And any politician who feels himself compelled to pay it lip service should be viewed with the same contempt that would have accrued to an American politician who spoke out on behalf of the Nazis during the 30s and 40s.

When I hear our politicians boohooing over the deaths of 50 or 60 rioting members of the Muslim Brotherhood, I would remind them that 72 Egyptians were killed in Port Said recently when a riot broke out over nothing more than a soccer match!

Just because the bad guys in the Middle East don’t wear uniforms or swastikas doesn’t entitle anyone to defend them as innocent civilians. The Egyptian military is the only thing keeping Egypt from morphing into another Iran, whereas the Muslim Brotherhood is strictly in the business of spreading Islamic fanaticism, and has about as much to do with promoting brotherhood as the Aryan Nation or the NAACP.

Inasmuch as most Americans seem to believe our Civil War, which resulted in 700,000 dead, was worthwhile, I’m at a loss to understand why so many folks get upset when far fewer are dying in Syria or, if it comes to pass, would die in an Egyptian civil war. At least in Egypt, we’d finally have a side worth rooting for.

So, naturally, that’s the side Obama and McCain are bad-mouthing.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.

Whose Coup? & BONUS: Liberal Bigotry

A lot of folks are up in arms over the U.S. supporting the Egyptian military, claiming it is illegal for us to send foreign aid to a nation whose democratically-elected government has been overturned by a coup. I’m not one of those people.

Even if I entertained the slightest doubt about what we should do, the fact that the loudest voice demanding that we cease sending money to Egypt is John McCain’s would be the clincher. He may have been right about something or other during the past few decades, but nothing comes to mind.

Voting is overrated. The Egyptians elected Mohamed Morsi because they were convinced he was a moderate. Heck, that’s the same reason that many people voted for Obama in 2008. Unfortunately, by the time a lot of Americans woke up, he had managed to get millions of them hooked on food stamps and what they’d been told would be cheap health insurance. And, alas, we didn’t have a military prepared to do the right thing by protecting us from ourselves.

Those of us who live in free societies tend to forget that voting isn’t a miraculous antidote for those who are too lazy, greedy and ignorant, to understand that the best government of all is one that leaves most decisions in the hands of the individual.

In this country, we have millions of people who watched those little Obama commercials featuring a fictional Julia who depended entirely on the federal government for her very survival, and nodded along with the narration. They thought they were watching a Disney movie in which Obama was the fairy godmother, while the rest of us were convinced we were watching a horror film in which Obama was wearing a hockey mask and carting around a chainsaw.

It’s bad enough that Obama tells one whopper after another when the topic is the massacre in Benghazi, a Department of Justice that spies on journalists or an IRS that sees its primary mission to get Obama re-elected, but, just recently, he told a bunch of kids that broccoli is his favorite food. It’s one thing for Michelle to say something that goofy, but we all know that Barack’s taste runs to cheeseburgers, pizza and ice cream. I’m not suggesting he should be compelled to come clean about his diet, but why lie to the kids? Why not just keep his trap shut? Does the schmuck lie just to stay in practice?

It took some years for people to finally acknowledge that Woodrow Wilson was the most racist president in U.S. history. I hope it won’t take that long for people to wake up to the fact that Wilson, who openly regarded blacks as an inferior race, couldn’t hold a candle to Obama, who, along with Eric Holder, goes out of his way to display his contempt for Caucasians.

You only have to keep in mind that he attended Jeremiah Wright’s church for 20 years, where Sunday after Sunday he got to hear his religious mentor voice his hatred of America and its white population. Then, if you recall, his first order of business upon moving into the Oval Office was to have the bust of Winston Churchill removed.

Then he appointed Eric Holder to be his attorney general, and the first thing we heard out of Holder’s mouth was an announcement that whites were cowards who refused to have an honest dialogue about race. Translated, that’s code for whites being unwilling to kowtow to blacks intent on browbeating them.

The next thing we knew, Holder was refusing to indict black thugs for intimidating white voters, and Obama was excoriating the Cambridge Police Department for having the audacity to arrest a black friend of his for disturbing the peace.

Because neither Obama nor Holder are the sort to rest on their racist laurels, Obama stuck his shnoz into the Martin-Zimmerman case by saying that Trayvon Martin looked like the son he never had, and Holder authorized a unit of the Justice Department known as Community Relations Service to organize racially-charged demonstrations against George Zimmerman. Fortunately, it’s not every day that the federal government subsidizes a lynch mob.

Finally, it has often occurred to me that conservatives like dogs, while liberals tend to favor cats. I happen to know several exceptions to this rule; both people and cats. I suspect that those cats are the ones who share the finer attributes of dogs. I also acknowledge that many people simply want a pet, but can’t keep a dog because they work such long hours or travel a great deal.

As I see it, dogs are friendly, loyal and courageous. Those are all qualities that resound with conservatives. Cats, on the other hand, tend to be aloof and snobbish. They pretend to be independent, but the pretense only lasts until dinnertime rolls around.

Dogs have been known to pull family members out of burning buildings and even leap into raging rivers to rescue perfect strangers.

I’m convinced a cat would only go into a burning building to save its favorite catnip-laced toy mouse and would only consider diving into a body of water if they saw a can-opener going under for the third time.

It just occurred to me that I am more than a little finicky, would never jump into a raging river and, on occasion, have been known to be rather snooty. Good heavens, I’m a cat!


It would be a lie to say that bigotry doesn’t exist in this country. The lie is in the media’s insistence on attributing it to white conservatives. If you believed these people who lie for a living, everyone who isn’t black, Muslim, homosexual, a Democrat, an illegal alien, a single woman or a member of the left-wing media, can safely be assumed to be a bigot.

If you only believed what you read in your local newspaper or hear from anchors and reporters for the major TV networks, you would think that white conservatives spend 24/7 pondering how best to oppress everyone who isn’t one of them. As a white conservative, I also stand accused of waging endless war on women.

The fact of the matter is that white conservatives are probably the only group of Americans that others can safely insult and ridicule without being blasted as a bigot, racist, misogynist and/or homophobe.

As proof of this, let me remind you that although everyone at Fort Hood was aware of the fact that Major Nidal Hasan had essentially taken to smooching his photo of Osama bin Laden, he continued to hold his job for no other reason than that his superior officers were terrified of being drummed out of the service for offending a Muslim.

Over the years, when blacks misbehave and get into trouble with the law, other blacks, usually at the instigation of creeps such as Jesse Jackson, who turned corporate extortion into a career, and Al Sharpton, who rode to fame and fortune by accusing NY cops of raping a black teenager named Tawana Brawley, can be counted on to riot on cue.

The truth was that young Miss Brawley had concocted the vile tale because she’d been shacked up with her boyfriend and was afraid she’d get into trouble with her mother. But even after the truth was known, Sharpton led demonstrations that led to blacks murdering whites. And today, instead of having to ring a little bell and chant “Unclean, unclean” when he appears in public, he hosts his own TV show on MSNBC, gets to dine with the likes of Bill O’Reilly in fancy New York restaurants and be treated like the second coming of Martin Luther King by the craven media.

In 2006, half a dozen black guys beat up a white guy in Jena, Louisiana, for no other reason than that they felt like it. No sooner were they put on trial than the demonstrations by blacks began on behalf of the Jena 6, as they came to be known.

That same year, a black hooker accused members of the Duke Lacrosse team of raping her at a frat party, where she’d been hired to strip. The students were lynched in the media until the truth came out that she had concocted the story, no doubt in hope of being paid hush money. In the aftermath, there were no apologies from the media or from those moral cretins who will joyfully demonstrate on behalf of hookers, bullies, Rodney King or O.J. Simpson, just so long as they’re black. Reverend King urged people to judge others by their character, not their skin color, but apparently only white folks were paying attention.

Today, in spite of the fact that George Zimmerman is a decent man who mentored black youngsters, blacks would have you believe that Trayvon Martin, a drug-dealing thief, was a model citizen whom nobody but a Klan member would ever suspect of being up to no good on a rainy night in a neighborhood where he didn’t live, but where burglaries had become commonplace.

The media is so corrupt that when bash mobs — black teens who congregate through social networking in order to steal and vandalize in large groups — recently ran wild in Los Angeles and Long Beach, the local newspapers and TV stations referred to them merely as “people” or “teens,” refusing to even mention their race.

Until the media reports black on white crimes or even black on black crimes as eagerly as they do the far less frequent white on black crimes, they should be regarded as accessories to murders, rapes and robberies.

No white person in his right mind ever goes out of his way to excuse or defend meth-dealing motorcycle gangs or the thugs who make up the Aryan Nation, arguing that they turned out to be law-breaking creeps because they were raised in poverty in homes without responsible, loving fathers. No one sanctions their violence, lack of education or their siring babies out of wedlock, or thinks about blaming society at large for their obvious shortcomings.

You don’t see members of the media contorting themselves into moral pretzels insisting that these white schmucks shouldn’t be held responsible for the crimes they commit. It’s only blacks who are infantilized.

What many people fail to grasp is that when the media parrots the race hustlers who claim that high-achievers such as Clarence Thomas, Thomas Sowell, Condoleezza Rice, Walter Williams, Allen West and Dr. Ben Carson, are inauthentic, while holding so-called authentic blacks to a lower moral standard, it’s the vilest form of bigotry because it implies that nothing better can ever be expected of them.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.