A One-Man Wrecking Crew

It usually requires an actual dictator to destroy a country. It takes a power-crazed lunatic such as Hitler, Mussolini, Mao, Castro or the Ayatollah Khomeini, to turn a nation into a cesspool. That’s what makes Barack Obama unique. In his case, it only took one man to, in his own words, radically transform a free republic into a place that would not only be unrecognizable to the likes of Washington, Madison, Franklin and Hamilton, but even to such latecomers as Truman, Kennedy and Reagan.

It was with a combination of shock and disgust that I saw America elect a man in 2008 who vowed to redistribute wealth, send energy costs soaring, do everything in his power to destroy the coal and oil industries and, for an encore, take control of the health care industry, less because there was anything terribly wrong with things as they were, but in an attempt to shift one-sixth of the economy into the hands of the federal government.

Everything he said and did were the words and actions of a fascist, and yet the citizens, at least those who were ready and willing to swap their liberty for free cell phones, unemployment checks and food stamps, re-elected him. They didn’t even care that after the first four years of his reign, there weren’t very many jobs; after all, what difference was it to them so long as there were enough job-holders being taxed to support them?

Even college graduates who were forced to move back home seemed content with their lot. Heck, Obama saw to it that they didn’t have to pay for health insurance until they were 26. He helped legalize marijuana, encouraged homosexuality and, God knows, would never even consider reinstituting the military draft. Besides, living at home provided them with hot meals, clean laundry and rent-free accommodations. Is it any wonder that 70% of these elderly infants voted to re-elect the cool dude?

Those are just some of the reasons that I have found the farcical rollout of the Affordable Care Act so delightful. Compared to this disaster, the notorious rollouts involving New Coke and Ford’s Edsel were resounding success stories.
When, three weeks after the rollout, Barack Obama stood in front of 13 human props while trying to defend the indefensible, he identified them as people who had successfully enrolled in ObamaCare. What he neglected to mention was that they were the only ones in a nation of 310 million who had done so.

His performance that day, as he kept repeating the 800-number and assuring us what a really swell thing ObamaCare was, reminded many people of those TV hucksters who keep trying to sell us hair-in-a spray can. He did everything but tell us that if we were among the first hundred people to call in, he’d toss in a second Affordable Care Act at no additional cost.

It later came out that during his speech, one of those human props, the very pregnant Karmel Allison, nearly fainted. What wasn’t reported was that prior to his typically long-winded harangue, she wasn’t even expecting.

All things considered, the Rose Garden was certainly the proper setting for the event. That’s because when Obama was done flapping his gums, the White House gardeners immediately shredded his speech and were able to use it as fertilizer.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.