It’s said that everyone has opinions, but I sense that most people don’t have as many as I do. Sometimes they become such a burden that I simply have to unload them the way Santa unloads his bag of toys, lest I suffer a hernia of the brain.

So, to begin with, when did people forget how to write their names? Now that I’m spending an inordinate amount of time in doctors’ offices, I notice that mine is the only signature on the sign-in sheets that’s legible. It also makes me wonder how banks can spot forged checks when every signature is a squiggle. I’m sure that nobody makes out a shopping list that’s unreadable, so what is it about signatures that bring out the illiterate or at least the illegible in people? Do they think it makes them appear important, the way people thought it did when cell phones were first coming into fashion and every cluck would walk down the street, chattering into one, with furrowed brow, as if the President was calling for advice about the Middle East?

Even though the good people of Utah voted 2-1 in a referendum to limit marriage to one man and one woman, a federal judge overturned the decision on behalf of homosexuals. However you feel about his decision, one man should not be allowed to exert so much power. The same thing has taken place in California, and not just when the issue was same-sex marriages. Even a state as liberal as California has had referendums that cut off financial assistance to illegal aliens and reinstated capital punishment, but judges over-ruled the decision of millions.

All that these judgment calls do is remind people that the law is not only an ass, but an overbearing one. State rights are meaningless if all it takes to overcome the votes of the people is a single political appointee who is as Solomon-like as my big toe.

We are one nation, but we are 50 states. Utah is not the same as New York, just as California is not similar to Texas. We have very different attitudes and very different customs. One size does not fit all, whether we’re talking about shoes or laws.

What judges should be paying more attention to is the fact that this administration is treating the Constitution like so much toilet paper. We all learned in the sixth grade, or should have learned, that there are three equal branches of government: the executive, the legislative and the judicial. But with Obama and his henchmen in the Department of Justice and the EPA running the show pretty much by executive fiat, we have the makings of a banana republic. But the Supreme Court is spending more time trying to guarantee that homosexuals can make a farce out of marriage than doing anything to prevent Obama from completely shredding the fabric of this nation.

Speaking of Obama, when questioned about the catastrophic rollout of the Affordable Care Act, he said, “Since I’m in charge, we screwed up.” When it was executing Osama bin Laden, it was all “I” and “me,” as if he had personally led the mission. But when it’s a disaster, suddenly it’s “we.” I’m guessing the sign on his desk reads: “The buck doesn’t even slow down here.”

It was big news that Obama had signed up for the Affordable Care Act, except that he didn’t. He had his staff handle it while he soaked up the rays in Hawaii. And of course they didn’t really sign him up because he, like every president and ex-president, receives the best health care in the world, and it’s free. But it was still worth noting that even this clumsy bit of Kabuki Theater was played out in late December, nearly three months after the rollout was initiated. But perhaps it simply took the drones that long to get online.

If the House does nothing else, it should pass legislation, as Charles Krauthammer has suggested, that makes it impossible for Obama to salvage his signature piece of legislation by bailing out the insurance companies with our tax dollars for the huge and unavoidable losses they will face in 2014 if they continue doing Obama’s bidding. “Too big to fail” in this case will refer to the 2,000-page bill that seeks to gobble up one-sixth of America’s economy and 100% of our freedom.

When hackers breached Target’s security, the company was compelled to contact its millions of customers and take the heat. But when the same thing inevitably happens to those who have signed up on the unsecured federal register for ObamaCare, there will be no such alerts. You’ll only find out the bad news when some transvestite in Bulgaria runs up thousands of dollars on your credit card, purchasing his spring wardrobe at the House of Hilda Boutique in Sofia.

Jesse Jackson, Jr., the former congressman who is currently serving a two-and-a-half year sentence for fraud, is nevertheless pulling down $8,700-a-month in disability, as well as a partial federal pension of $45,000. His disability was a sudden “mood disorder” that struck just as the G-men were closing in on him. It’s funny how facing a prison term can alter a person’s mood.

“Not bad,” his father is rumored to have said when he heard about Junior’s disability payments, “but it still doesn’t pay as well as corporate extortion.”

Finally, as many of you know, I underwent an Angiogram because a pre-op EKG in preparation for my wrist surgery indicated arterial blockage. Actually, I had four EKGs, and apparently all four showed false positives; there was no blockage. So I wound up with a hole in my groin and my wrist is still a wreck.

Some people have suggested that before undergoing surgery, one should always get a second opinion. That’s never made sense to me. What if the first guy says you should have an operation and the second guy says you shouldn’t? Do you then go to a third guy to break the tie? Or does it make more sense to just flip a coin?

Actually, under ObamaCare, you’ll be lucky if you can find three doctors. Heck, under Obama, you’ll be lucky if you have three coins.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.