“If I Were Emperor” and “A Bush League Candidate”

For several years, Barack Obama insisted that he didn’t have the constitutional authority to change our immigration laws. No matter how Hispanics put the question to him, his answer was always the same. He kept pointing out he was the president, not the emperor. Then one morning he woke up, discovered an ermine robe hanging in his closet, and decided that he was either the star attraction in a gay musical revue or he was the emperor, and decided that either way he had the authority.

Well, I don’t have anything better than a flannel bathrobe in my closet, but I would certainly like to be able to make or remake the laws to my liking. And to start with, I would pass a law ensuring that no congressional bill would ever run more than two pages or deal with more than a single issue.

It is simply too easy to shove everything including the kitchen sink into one of those 1,500 page monstrosities, knowing that nobody in Congress is about to spend a month reading the damn thing, meaning that, in the immortal words of Nancy Pelosi, people will simply have to pass it to find out what’s in it.

We all know that these gargantuan pieces of legislation are merely Trojan horses used by both parties to conceal pork and to play politics. How many times have we heard that the Democrats will tie, say, military allocations into bills dealing with things they need Republican support to pass? And, let me add, vice versa. I say let each and every bill stand alone. If either party can’t muster the votes to pass its pet legislation, we can probably live without it.

For the longest time, I was aware that certain high-profile people have only a passing acquaintance with the English language. I mean, it’s downright embarrassing listening to most Hollywood celebrities, professional athletes, members of the Black Congressional Caucus and pinheads like Patty Murray, Barbara Boxer and Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, attempt to express a single coherent thought.

Recently, I had occasion to add to the list Bill Cosby, who chose to refer to the two dozen accusations of rape as “innuendo,” and Jonathan Gruber, who dismissed the numerous occasions when he called Americans stupid for believing the lies about ObamaCare as his attempt at “glibness.” As any dictionary would have been only too happy to explain, being glib is to be facile and linguistically fluent. I, Herr Gruber, am glib; you, on the other hand, are a lying piece of egotistical chicken poop.

Speaking of liars, Obama strove to put the best possible face on partisan hack Sen. Feinstein’s CIA-flaying report by declaring, “When we do something wrong, we acknowledge it.” Come again? This putz hasn’t even come clean about his travel visa or his college application from 35 years ago, let alone Benghazi, the IRS targeting of the Tea Party or his unconstitutional reversal on amnesty.

While the widow and the daughter of Eric Garner have gone out of their way to state that in their opinion, the unfortunate death of their husband and father at the hands of white police officers had nothing to do with racism, we had Obama and his lackey Eric Holder leading a crusade against so-called racial profiling. The irony is that if such profiling is a sin, it’s one the president and his attorney general never tire of committing, so long as those being profiled are white men wearing blue uniforms.

Instead of attacking racial profiling, how about suggesting to those allegedly being profiled that Muslims stop waging war against all us Jewish and Christian infidels; that Hispanics stop sneaking across our border and making themselves wards of the American taxpayer; and that urban blacks stop committing violent crimes at a rate far exceeding their percentage of the population?

Something else that I would like to see changed is the kid glove approach that the media adopts with our presidents. I didn’t like it when the press pretended that FDR wasn’t an invalid. I also didn’t approve of the media’s concealing the fact that JFK, who not only suffered from back problems that had him addicted to pain pills, still managed to carry on like an over-sexed fraternity boy. It didn’t help that in addition to winking at his sexual shenanigans, they propagandized on his behalf by showing him posing for Hallmark cards at the Kennedy compound, pretending there was nothing he enjoyed more than playing touch football with his dysfunctional clan.

The media also provided cover for Clinton, who was not only a sexual predator, but had a foul mouth and a hair-trigger temper. But the media conspired to portray him as a good old boy who was all “shucks” and “golly gee whiz,” and could have stepped right out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

The only reason I now know that Barack Obama behind closed doors is even more appalling than the one I’d come to despise over the years is because news reporter Ann Compton is retiring after 40 years of underreporting the news for ABC, and finally let on that Obama hurls obscenities at members of the media who even dare refer to his numerous scandals as scandals.

For reasons that elude me, my wife and I continue to receive requests, seemingly on a daily basis, to donate to Ben Carson’s bid for the presidency. As I’ve written in the past, I have nothing against the man. He has a pleasant voice, we agree about ObamaCare, and he seems like a nice guy. But, heck, the very same things can be said about me, and I know I’m not qualified for the job.

I’m sure Dr. Carson would advise people who haven’t attended medical school not to perform surgery, but he thinks someone who has never even been a mayor is just what we need in the Oval Office. Isn’t it enough that we’ve gone down this amateur road before with Herman Cain and Barack Obama?

Finally, every time I see Arabs and Muslims firing their guns into the air, I’m reminded once again that these schmucks are so backward, they’ve never even heard of gravity.


A Bush League Candidate

I must confess I wasn’t surprised that Jeb Bush announced that he is considering making a run for the GOP nomination in 2016. When properly translated from politician-speak that means that nothing short of a nuclear bomb will derail his ambition. But when all is said and done, I can’t help being fascinated by his apparent strategy.

Inasmuch as he has essentially rubberstamped Obama’s granting clemency to illegal aliens and endorsed Common Core, his plan, I take it, calls for him to receive the nomination after losing every single Republican primary and then going on to win the general election when a lot more idiots are allowed to vote.

I imagine the Democrats are as anxious for Jeb to head up our ticket in 2016 as we are to have Hillary Clinton carrying the banner for the pinheads. If both sides get their wish, it could be the first time in history that “None of the Above” receives more votes in a presidential election than either of the candidates.

Speaking of wretches named Clinton, someone should remind Bill that Eric Garner isn’t dead because he sold untaxed cigarettes, any more than Hillary’s husband was impeached and disbarred for having sex with a White House intern. In Garner’s case, he wound up on a slab because he resisted arrest. In Clinton’s case, it was because he committed perjury while testifying before a grand jury.
But I guess when you’ve spent your entire adult life spinning the truth and sucking up to minority voters, those are tough habits to break.

It seems a court affiliated with the European Union has concluded that Hamas, whose charter calls for the extinction of Israel, is not a terrorist organization, as we’ve all been led to believe…mainly by their terrorist activities. But, then, most of the European nations have had a warm place in their hearts for any group, no matter how odious, that hated Jews as much they did.

In related news, the member states of the EU have determined that Adolph Hitler wasn’t really evil, but merely misunderstood.

A reader, Brian Harmon, sent me a report that measured the business ethics in four nations, Mongolia, Japan, Korea and the United States. The respondents were business leaders who were asked to compare the rise or decline of ethics over a 10 year period. In the case of Mongolia, they were comparing 2010 to 2000; the Japanese were comparing 2004 to 1994; the Koreans, 2005 to 1995; and the Americans, 2000 to 1990.

The Mongolians were split 50-50 between those who felt things had improved or remained the same and those who saw a decline. In Japan, the good outweighed the bad 84% to 16%. In Korea, a mere 0.8% thought ethics were getting worse, while a resounding 99.2% thought things were getting better or at least staying the same. In the U.S., however, a scant 14.3% saw improvement, 50.3% thought things were getting worse.

Keep in mind that the polling of our business leaders took place in 2000. One can only imagine how awful the numbers would be today, with the schools, the media and a great many parents having had an additional 14 years in which to undermine traditional values, compounded by six years of Obama’s cynical, self-serving lies and immoral scandals.

Consider that in New York City, Mayor Bill De Blasio (born Warren Wilhelm, Jr.), who, like Obama, is a former community organizer, has accused the NYPD of being a gang of racists, even though, in the words of the old American Express slogan, he never leaves home without them. But it just goes to prove that once a community organizer, always a putz.

Black thugs and white morons clog up New York’s streets, chanting “What do we want? Dead cops! When do we want it? Now!” And the best that the city’s mayor can muster is a resounding “Yeah, me, too!” It’s no surprise that a great many New York police officers are now signing documents in which they state that if they should die in the line of duty, De Blasio is forbidden from attending their funeral services.

But none of this should come as a surprise to the voters in New York, who knew that this schmuck was a communist lamebrain when they gave him 73% of their votes, and would no doubt do the same today. Some of us assumed that New Yorkers couldn’t do much worse after electing Michael Bloomberg to three terms, but it just goes to show that one should never be too quick to overestimate the intelligence of the New York electorate.

Speaking of morons, even though I try to avoid watching football and basketball games on TV, there has been no way to avoid seeing LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers and a bunch of Cleveland Brown players wearing their “I Can’t Breathe” t-shirts. Clearly they can all breathe. Therefore, a more appropriate sentiment would have been “I Can’t Think.”

The world of technology has now come up with the Luce X2 Touch TV vending machine. Apparently it has the ability to identify customers and remember their snacking patterns. That enables the machine to deny would-be customers certain items it deems unhealthy for them. It sounds as if the folks at Luce have somehow managed to turn nanny Bloomberg into a annoying little vending machine.

It’s reassuring to know that some research scientists have retained their sense of priorities and aren’t wasting all their time seeking a cure for cancer.
Finally, I am happy to report that I have received hundreds of holiday greetings from my readers, some of whom take pains to wish me a Happy Chanukah instead of a Merry Christmas. For the record, I actually prefer Christmas, which has been a national holiday for as long as I’ve lived and will continue to be one, no matter what the ACLU claims to the contrary.

What’s not to love? The music, both sacred and popular, is great. The decorations are beautiful. .The classic Christmas movies are among the best films ever made. Plus, the sense of universal brotherhood is quite moving, even for those of us who actually had older brothers and should know better.

Let’s face it — you Christians know how to throw a holiday!

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@fastmail.com.




“It’s All Black & White” and “I Hate The Sins & The Sinners”

When I saw all those people marching in large cities across America, tying up streets, bridges and even clogging up entrances to department stores, making Christmas gift shopping an even bigger headache than usual, it occurred to me how far racial relations have declined over the past six years. And it’s all because race hustlers like Obama, Holder, Sharpton and New York City’s Mayor Bill De Blasio, have tried to cash in on the unfortunate deaths of a couple of 300-pound thugs named Brown and Garner, who would still be alive if they hadn’t tried to resist arrest for their crimes.

A lot of people are at a loss when trying to figure out why blacks continue to elect those who kept slaves; who formed the KKK; who enacted and enforced Jim Crow laws; who maintained separate schools and lunch counters; who turned cities like Detroit into American versions of Hiroshima; who turned the dogs and fire hoses on them; but who nevertheless continue to vote for the party of George Wallace, Robert Byrd, Orville Faubus and Bull Connor.

The answer is really quite simple. In the bad old days, in exchange for food, clothing and shelter, plantation blacks had to pick cotton in the hot sun. These days, in exchange for food, clothing and shelter, they just have to keep voting for Democrats.

When it comes to illegal immigration, it’s as if we rid America of tuberculosis and then watched it make a lethal comeback simply because our open borders allowed ailing illegal aliens to reintroduce it. Come to think of it, that’s exactly what happened. But you didn’t hear even a murmur about this epidemic from the Department of Health and Human Services.

A reader suggested that once the GOP gains control of the Senate, their first order of business should be to shut down the border. I agreed. I added that their response any time some pandering politician, including presidential wannabes in their own party, begin yammering about comprehensive immigration reform, should be “First build the fence.”

Liberals claim they want to repair America’s infrastructure and want good-paying jobs for the middle class, but they have refused for the past 30 years to erect a two-tier fence with a paved road running between the two portions that could easily be patrolled by federal border agents.

The reader also mentioned that a guy he knew slightly, a world-renowned wine expert, had died, and admitted that his initial reaction to the news was that there was now one less Democrat. I then confessed that when I read about a national disaster striking anywhere in the nation, my first thought is whether liberals or conservatives are more likely to be the victims. Only then do I decide how I honestly feel about it.

Hillary Clinton insists that America should respect our enemies and “empathize with their perspective and point of view.” When it comes to chutzpah, you can’t beat her, much as you might wish to with a two-by-four. This is coming from the same person who insulted every woman who ever complained about Bill Clinton’s sexual boorishness and who dismissed any critique of his policies as the result of a vast right-wing conspiracy. Well, just for the record, I regard Mrs. Clinton as my enemy, and I can neither respect nor empathize with her. Furthermore, I happen to feel the same way about those ignoramuses who are already relishing her return to the White House.

Frankly, how she can even bear to show her face after dismissing the massacring of four Americans with “What difference, at this point, does it make who killed them?” let alone run for the highest office in the land, is beyond me. But, then, as Samuel Butler once put it, “Conscience is thoroughly well-bred and soon leaves off talking to those who do not wish to hear it.”

Speaking of those without consciences, I am hearing rumors that Obama, who refuses to sanction Iran, is considering leveling them against Israel. It is a classic case of déjà vu. If your memory is still functioning, you’ll recall that the last time Israel had the gall to actually erect buildings within its own borders, Obama threw a major hissy fit.

Back then, I wrote that the next time Obama visited Bethesda for his annual checkup, the doctors should perform a brain scan because there was surely something terribly wrong with an American president who was more concerned with Jews building apartment houses in Israel than with Muslims building nuclear bombs in Iran.


I Hate The Sins & The Sinners

I have never understood why people ever feel compelled to say they hate the sin, but not the sinner. I believe it was Jesus who first said those words, so I suppose Christians want to present themselves in the best possible light in hopes of getting a place with a pool in Heaven. Even though I’m not a Christian, I’m certainly willing to grant that Jesus was a much nicer guy than I am. Still, it seems fairly obvious that without sinners, those pesky sins would quickly disappear.

To my way of thinking, Barack Obama is the single biggest sinner in America. I don’t believe that anything he says or does is in the best interests of our nation. Instead, everything comes down to partisan politics with this schmuck, whether it’s attacking the police, refusing to green-light the Keystone pipeline or trashing the Constitution. On top of everything else, he sets a bad example for young people by being a hypocrite and a serial liar.

When George Bush doubled the national debt to roughly $10 trillion, Sen. Obama said it was unpatriotic, and, frankly, I agreed with him. However, over the past six years, Obama has encouraged it to soar an additional $8 trillion. On the traitor meter, that makes him a combination of Benedict Arnold, Tokyo Rose and Alger Hiss.

At the same time, his idea of a legacy when it comes to foreign affairs is to make nice with Iran. Even Obama isn’t so dumb that he actually believes that after a year of Iran’s stalling tactics, allowing them an additional seven months in which to keep their centrifuges spinning will end well for the United States, Israel or any of our allies in the Middle East. What is particularly galling is that Obama, taking a page out of Jonathan Gruber’s playbook, thinks we’re all so stupid that we actually believe that by his lessening the sanctions on Iran, he is increasing the pressure on the mullahs.

As you must have heard, another black 300-pounder has gotten himself killed in New York. At least unlike what happened in Ferguson, there does seem to be a legitimate question as to whether the cops handled Eric Garner appropriately. But is it really too much to expect black parents to tell their offspring that if you commit a crime, you should expect to be arrested. And when the cops come to place you in handcuffs, it is wise to be cooperative and not try to shove a cop around simply because you out-weigh him by 200 pounds.

Also, where is Michelle Obama in all this? I would have thought that by now, she would have gotten the word out in the black community that unless you’re seven feet tall, you have no business weighing 350 pounds.

So far as I know, Dorian Johnson, who lit the fuse in Ferguson, first by being an accessory to the robbery at the convenience store and then by lying about Michael Brown’s having his arms in the air and being shot in the back by Darren Wilson, has not been arrested. Where are all those protesters demanding equal justice under the law?

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that blacks never seem to demonstrate on behalf of anyone else’s causes or injustices? I see plenty of white fatheads all over America marching around with their hands raised, chanting “Hands up, don’t shoot,” but I never see blacks taking part when illegal aliens hold demonstrations or when white people are chanting about global warming or the International Monetary Fund. And I sure as heck never see them marching in a circle, condemning the hundreds of thousands of abortions of black babies that take place year after year.

I don’t even see them demonstrating on behalf of the honest, hard-working black citizens who are murdered every year by black thugs in places like Chicago, New York and Philadelphia. It’s only when white cops are on the hot seat, the very people who risk their own lives to protect them from their thuggish young drug-dealing neighbors, that they take to the streets in protest.

Well, there is the occasional exception. For instance, in the wake of the Grand Jury decision in Ferguson, some demonstrators carried a banner that read “Occupation is a Crime in Ferguson and Palestine. Resist U.S. Racism. Boycott Israel.” Anyone who believes anti-Semitism is limited to Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Jesse Jackson and Louis Farrakhan, hasn’t spent a lot of time in black churches.

In spite of the forensic evidence examined by the Grand Jury in Ferguson and the fact, as County Prosecutor pointed out, that all the early witnesses who had parroted Dorian Johnson’s lies finally admitted they hadn’t even seen the confrontation, and that six black witnesses described it going down just the way Darren Wilson had, only 9% of blacks polled believed the verdict.

Speaking of sinners, Bill Cosby, in response to all the damning accusations hurled in his direction, said, “I won’t comment on innuendo.” Inasmuch as Mr. Cosby was a college graduate, as he used to constantly remind us, I would think he knows that “innuendo” is an indirect or subtle reference to a subject. When 20 women swear you’ve drugged and raped them, it’s not an innuendo, it’s a damnation.

For the most part, Cosby’s fellow celebrities have maintained a polite silence, which is so unlike them. Although on balance, you’d have to say it’s preferable to the overwhelming support they gave Roman Polanski when they petitioned the U.S. authorities to grant the fugitive from justice a travel visa in spite of his having drugged and debauched a 13-year-old girl.

The best thing that has come out of the Ferguson mess is that America has finally had the opportunity to meet Milwaukee County Sheriff David Clarke, a black man who has had the guts to take on Eric Holder and label him a race hustling troublemaker. I predict that in the near future, the voters in Wisconsin will see to it that law enforcement’s loss will be Congress’s gain.

Finally, I’ll share two signs that have recently gone viral. The first was “I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy.” The other appeared on a placard held by some nitwit in Ferguson that read: “No mother’s son should have to fear for her son’s life every time he leaves home.” At least that’s how it read until some rascal with computer skills changed the last two words to read “robs a store.”

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at Noon Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




Republicans Against Democrats

Burt’s Webcast is every Wednesday at 1 PM Pacific Time.
Tune in at K4HD.com His Call-in Number is: (818) 570-5443

In the ongoing battle between those on the right and those on the left, the big difference is that the former approach it with one hand tied behind their back and the other hand clutching the Marquis of Queensbury rulebook, while those on the left will knee, gouge and use blackjacks whenever necessary.

All things considered, when liberals merely settle for lying, they’re being on their best behavior. That’s why when it was discovered that Obama had been lying for three years when he repeatedly told us that we would all be able to keep our medical insurance and our doctors, he wasn’t compelled to say, “That being the case, let’s toss out the Affordable Care Act and start over. After all, its passage was based entirely on fraud, and that’s just not the way we do things in America.”

And when, in February, 2014, Kathleen Sebelius, aka Cruella DeVil, said that she had no idea where anyone had come up with the goofy notion that ObamaCare required at least seven million sign-ups by the end of March to be considered a success, I only wish I had been nearby to remind her that in September, 2013, a scant six months earlier, she had said, “Success would be at least seven million signed up by the end of March.”

Of course there’s always the chance she wasn’t fibbing. It could mean the early onslaught of Alzheimer’s. She really should go in for a check-up, and since she isn’t covered by ObamaCare, I’m sure she’d actually be able to find a doctor.

According to a recent poll, it seems that 80% of Democrats have their fingers crossed, hoping that Hillary Clinton will deign to run in 2016. No doubt many of them simply can’t wait to see her husband back in the White House. It might be something of a sticky wicket as to what his title would be. After all, he can’t be the First Lady, and we all know that calling him the First Gentleman would be laughable. I suppose First Hound Dog or First Creep would be appropriate, but, assuming the GOP doesn’t blow a very winnable election, it should remain a moot question.

Some think tank recently accessed government records that showed that the Obamas have taken about two dozen vacations over the past five years, costing the tax payers roughly $20 million. Frankly, I suspect that once you figure in all the additional costs of carting around the Secret Service, it’s much more than that. But in any case, I don’t think that Barack, Michelle or the kids, work so hard that they require four vacations a year. Furthermore, Camp David has already been set aside as a getaway for the First Family. It has all the accoutrements of a first class resort and, best of all, it’s just a short hop by helicopter from the White House. But I say if whoever is president finds Camp David inadequate, he or she should pay for their own damn vacations. They’re all millionaires, after all, so they can all afford to pick up the tab.

Speaking of the Pipsqueak-in-Chief, Obama, through his sock puppet Chuck Hagel, is calling for budgetary cuts to the Pentagon so that we’ll have a leaner, more flexible and efficient, military. So why is it that he simultaneously insists on a fatter, more sedentary and wasteful federal government? What rationale is there for cutting the Army down to 440,000 while constantly increasing the number of federal bureaucrats, a number that currently stands at just under three million? I mean, who are these civil service palookas prepared to fight? Besides the Tea Party and other conservative groups, that is.

When Obama and the Democrats display such favoritism towards federal bureaucrats, it all comes down to their acknowledging on which side their ballots are buttered.

In comparing the two parties, I find that the best one can often say for Republican politicians is that they’re better than those on the other side of the aisle. Once in power, Republicans never push back or really undo what the Democrats have done. They must think that would constitute unsportsmanlike conduct. Instead, they’re satisfied with the status quo, which means that once the liberals regain control, they merely pick up where they left off.

For instance, Ronald Reagan said all the right things, but he did nothing to diminish the size and scope of government, and, what’s more, the national debt rose under his stewardship. For his part, Bush foolishly engaged in nation-building at a cost to our treasury and to the lives of our soldiers, who were simultaneously trying to win a couple of wars. On the other hand, he did nothing to iron out the few wrinkles in our health care system, which would have probably prevented ObamaCare from wreaking such havoc on the people and the economy.

The best that can honestly be said for their presidencies is that they kept Jimmy Carter from having eight years in the Oval Office and prevented the likes of Walter Mondale, Al Gore and John Kerry, from having even four.

Finally, the expression “slightly pregnant” used to refer to a contradiction in terms, a cousin to an oxymoron. But for liberals, it’s become a legal technicality. For some of them, the “slightly” refers to an embryo not yet 27 weeks old, while to other left-wing nincompoops it refers to a nine month old baby getting ready to shake hands with the obstetrician.

©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.




The Problem With Being a Republican, Bonus: Connecting the Dolts

There are times when I can’t help wishing I were a Democrat. It certainly would have helped my writing career. I mean, look at the folks who make a handsome living for no other reason than that they’re liberals. I’m not even referring to politicians. Obviously, the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Maxine Waters, Sheila Jackson Lee, Henry Waxman and Barbara Boxer, would be begging at freeway off-ramps and sleeping under bridges in a logical world. But I’m talking about all those others.

For instance, look at the folks who become liberal icons. There are the folks, like Bill Maher and Kathy Griffin, who get to pass themselves off as comedians by merely making crass remarks about people such as George Bush and Sarah Palin.

Then there are those, such as Sandra Fluke, Texas State Senator Wendy Davis and Lena Dunham, who have achieved heroine status by arguing that colleges should provide their students with free contraception, that abortions should be legal long after the five month deadline has come and gone, and produced a 2012 political ad that suggested that voting for Obama was the same as having sex for the first time. And Ms. Dunham was not suggesting that it might be both painful and embarrassing.

On the other hand, here am I, even after six books and nearly 1300 articles making the case for conservatism, but Rush Limbaugh has never heard of me, Drudge doesn’t include my blog with the 500 others he finds space to promote at his Report and even after spending months trying every which way I could to offer my writing services to the Romney campaign, I never even received a rejection.

What’s more, I have never been invited on Fox. Heck, if I were a liberal, I would probably have my own show on MSNBC and get to hang out with Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow and Al Sharpton. Okay, I grant there are worse things in life than flying below the radar.

Speaking of those who lie for a living, I keep hearing that Iran’s new president, Hassan Rhumani, is waging a charm offensive. Amazing what some people regard as charm. This is the same guy who bragged that Iran was able to con the West while continuing to enrich uranium while racing to manufacture a nuclear bomb. Now we have Assad and Putin playing us for a sucker two years after the pretender in the White House swore that Assad’s days were numbered. What he didn’t disclose, now that I think of it, was the number he had in mind.

You have to give these schmucks a certain amount of credit. After all, it can’t be as easy as it looks for Rhumani to say that Iran is an anchor of stability in the Middle East with a straight face. I’m guessing he’s been perfecting his act by watching tapes of Jay Carney.

In one of those examples of divine justice, a Sikh doctor who lives and works in Harlem, was attacked by a gang of black teenagers who broke his jaw and knocked out several of his teeth, all the while calling him “Osama.” He is known, but apparently not to everyone, as a man who has spoken and written extensively about white racism.

A reader of mine, Bill Rosenfeld, has observed that “Instead of capitalism, what we have under Obama is capitolism.”

Finally, this administration is so awful, they even have to lie when it comes to merely naming their legislation. For instance, take the Affordable Care Act. Please. As more and more people are discovering, their health insurance costs are doubling and even tripling. As for Obama’s promise that people who are happy with their insurance plans could keep them, April 1st came early.

What I’d like to know is why unions that are never shy about demonstrating their resentment — remember their trashing the state capital when Gov. Scott Walker and the legislature voted to cut collective bargaining rights for Wisconsin’s public sector union members? — but when Obama nixes the Keystone pipeline, costing thousands of union jobs, and pushes ObamaCare, which is playing havoc with the traditional 40-hour work week, they don’t even set up picket lines outside the White House.

What a bunch of partisan pansies! Can you imagine their rolling over this way if a Republican was pulling this stuff?

Jimmy Hoffa, Sr., must be spinning in his grave, wherever that happens to be, when he sees what a doofus little Jimmy, Jr., has turned out to be.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————–

Connecting the Dolts

Charles Dickens famously opened “A Tale of Two Cities” with “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.”  If I were writing an updated version, I would announce it is the worst of times.  Wherever you turn, you are confronted by journalists, politicians and just plain folks, who make you ashamed to be a member of the same species.

These days, America is divided between the useful idiots who believe everything they read in the NY Times or hear from Obama and the useless idiots they elect to fill the seats in the House and Senate.

Primary schools used to be places of learning not only one’s ABCs, but what it means to be an American and the debt we all owe to guys named Washington, Jefferson, Adams and Hamilton.  But ever since the liberals took control of the teachers unions, and the unions gained control of the schools, they’ve been turned into laboratories of social engineering where everything from busing children across town to schools miles away from home to so-called sex education classes are conducted on the little guinea pigs.

On top of all that, the government has decided it’s their job to provide the kids with breakfast, lunch and, in some cases, even dinner.  It doesn’t really take a village to raise a child; it only takes Marxists like Bill and Hillary to say it does, although you notice they didn’t allow Chelsea to be raised by some damn village.

Others have pointed out that we are all supposed to experience moral outrage because al-Assad used sarin gas to kill 1,400 Syrians, which for some reason was supposed to trump the 120,000 who had died through such conventional means as bullets and bombs.  Others have pointed out that although 300 of the victims were children, many of the same bunch that want us to involve ourselves in a civil war involving Muslims have no problem with Planned Parenthood performing 300,000 abortions every year.

Speaking of which, I expect that someday a murderer is going to stand up in court and say in his own defense, “Of course I killed him, but that was my choice.”  If he has the right jury – say 12 women from NOW – he just might beat the rap.

We keep hearing George Santayana’s line — the one about people not learning from history being doomed to repeat it — being tossed around.  Possibly because I have studied history, I never thought very much of the quip.  What history really tells us is that most people never learn anything.  As for those of us who do, we tend to be powerless against the greedy and ignorant mob because of their sheer numbers.

I also thought it was the height of hypocrisy for Lincoln to say that God must have loved the common man because he made so many of them.  But I suppose when one is seeking to win an election, it doesn’t hurt to butter up the typical voter.  I just don’t think it’s fair to blame God for all the ignoramuses.

If you want to get a clear picture of the common man, you only have to look at how hard the Democrats have to work to get those folks to vote on Election Day.  They have to do everything but get their lazy butts out of bed and give them piggyback rides down to the polling place.  The Democrats pretend that it’s the lack of photo IDs that keep the riffraff from voting.  But even when the louts are provided with food, housing and free cell phones, in return for their votes, the majority choose to stay home and watch re-runs of “Good Times.”

It used to be my feeling that if you only got to know people as individuals, you would always find a better reason to despise them than their race, religion or odd sexual proclivity.  But these days, so many blacks, Muslims and homosexuals, have adopted a position of moral superiority combined with an insufferable sense of entitlement, I no longer feel that way.

In case you missed it, because a bakery in Gresham, Oregon, refused to bake a cake celebrating a lesbian marriage, its owner, Aaron Klein, has been forced to close its doors.  Not only were the members of the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community, a group that the creatures congregated at the bar in “Star Wars” would find bizarre, demonstrating outside the shop, but they were threatening to kill him and his kids.  They also threatened repercussions to the local florists and wedding planners if they continued to work with Mr. Klein.  Naturally, Oregon’s Bureau of Labor and Industries, having nothing better to do, threatened to launch an investigation.  Not into the criminal actions of the sexual freaks, but into Mr. Klein’s refusal to ignore his religious convictions.

The irony is that the place was called Sweet Cakes by Melissa, which sounds like a place that would appeal to the LGBT crowd.  Come to think of it, perhaps they were attracted by the name in the first place, and then felt betrayed in a way they wouldn’t have been if Mr. Klein had simply called it Klein’s Bakery.

Finally, consider the fallout from ObamaCare.  Although no groups outside Obama’s inner circle fought harder to get it passed, today the Catholic Church, labor unions and Hollywood, are all lined up in opposition.  The Church discovered that tucked away in the 2,500 pages of the Affordable Care Act were words that demanded it provide contraception to its employees.  The unions discovered that the law would make hash of the traditional 40-hour workweek and encourage employers to stop providing insurance.  As for Hollywood, it found that the law would lead to a loss of thousands of jobs in the industry.

All I can say is that there’s a lot to be said for poetic justice even if it doesn’t always rhyme.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write BurtPrelutsky@aol.com.