The Insanity Goes Round and Round

Christians are being persecuted, often murdered, in over a hundred countries at this very moment. Most of the massacres and church burnings are taking place in the Middle East, a gigantic swamp whose only redeeming features are oil and Israel, and the Orient, where China, Vietnam and North Korea, are proving themselves the swinish equals of Egypt, Syria and Iran.

In the meantime, the Obama regime goes along to get along, saving its quota of moral outrage for the Israelis who refuse to jump through hoops for the Palestinian rabble and John Kerry.

But, then, this is the same Obama who insisted that the folks who run Notre Dame and Georgetown University cover up or remove all religious symbols from their walls before he would deign to address the students. That suggested to some that Obama really is a follower of Islam, but proved to me that the hierarchy at Catholic institutions is no more principled than the DNC. After all, when the Church refuses to even consider excommunicating politicians who actively promote homosexuality and abortions on demand, who would expect college administrators, even those at Catholic institutions, to possess backbones?

Speaking of hypocrites, let us consider David Petraeus. Adultery is one thing, but when he joined in the big lie that Benghazi was a spontaneous reaction to a video nobody had seen, even though he was well aware that it was a well-planned terrorist attack, he crossed the line from military hero to political shill. Now, by announcing that “Hillary Clinton would be a terrific president!” he has shown himself to be about as principled as those cowards at Notre Dame and Georgetown.

Is it just my imagination or is it true that our military leaders, starting with Colin Powell, seem to tarnish at the speed of light once they remove their uniforms?

Speaking of Hillary Clinton, her late friend’s journal quotes her description of Monica Lewinsky as “a narcissistic loony tune.” Talk about the pot calling the narcissistic kettle loony! At least Ms. Lewinsky never oversaw the murder of four Americans. Neither did she then lie about it nor claim it made no difference who the responsible parties were; and, most importantly, she never suffered from the delusion she deserved to be president simply because she’d once had sex with Bill.

There are things about Fox I like, including Bret Baier, Brit Hume, Steve Hayes, Megyn Kelly, Bernie Goldberg, Chris Wallace, Greta Van Susteren, Charles Krauthammer, Howard Kurtz and Jeanine Pirro, but the resident liberals, who all seem to be auditioning for their own shows over at MSNBC, are awfully hard to take.

Because he seems to show up everywhere on the network, Juan Williams probably annoys me the most. As you listen to Obama’s talking points gushing out of his pie-hole, you really have to wonder who signs his checks — Roger Ailes or the DNC.

But others, such as Bob Beckel, Alan Colmes, Leslie Marshall, Kristen Powers and Geraldo Rivera, can be equally obnoxious. Rivera, who looks almost as bad with a beard as Jay Carney, recently took Bill O’Reilly to task for denying Obama “the majesty of the office” by asking him embarrassing questions about Benghazi, the IRS and the Affordable Care Act, during his Super Bowl interview. He neglected to mention the fact that Obama denied O’Reilly the majesty of Fox News by showing up without a necktie.

I guess it’s a good thing that liberals have such short memories that they forget that when George Bush was in the Oval Office, it not only, according to them, lacked majesty, but it was quite okay to call for the resident’s impeachment and even his assassination.

In other news, the Majestic One – you know the guy who swore to lower the oceans and heal the planet – arbitrarily changed ObamaCare for the 28th time by presidential fiat, simultaneously kicking sand in the face of Congress and trashing the Constitution, and for no other reason than to protect red state Democrats up for re-election in November.

But, as he was heard to remark during a visit to Monticello, when he broke protocol by going off for a tour of the grounds, “That’s the best thing about being President — I can do whatever I like.”

By “whatever,” he doesn’t just mean re-write his signature piece of legislation on a daily basis, but includes refusing to defend the Defense of Marriage Act; protect U.S. sovereignty by closing the borders; prosecuting blacks for hate crimes; while opposing those states looking to remove fraud from the election process through the use of photo IDs.

But this is the same knucklehead whose energy policy, which he likes to describe as “all of the above,” but only so long as “all” doesn’t include oil and coal; and whose foreign policy, which he also insists includes all options being on the table, but only so long as those options never involve military action in Syria or even additional sanctions against Iran.

Frankly, I’m surprised that Hollywood, being as liberal as it is, hasn’t yet gotten around to relabeling the Oscars the Obamas.

After all, what more appropriate honor could the pinheads bestow than to name their gold-plated eunuch after the one residing in the White House?

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Warning: Head Explosions Just Ahead

Eric Holder, whose greatest ambition was clearly to be the worst Attorney General in history, helped solidify his claim on the title by insisting that the Justice Department will not allow profiling on the basis of religion or national origin. I had assumed that was already the policy of an A.G. who is so corrupt, he refuses to prosecute racial hate crimes unless the target of the investigation is a white individual or a Tea Party group.

We’ve been engaged for the past 35 years in an undeclared war with Islam – undeclared by us, that is – but Mr. Holder regards it as rude if we concentrate on the religion or nationality of those sworn to murder us.

Anyone who isn’t worried sick over what Barack Obama and Eric (Mini Me) Holder, are doing to our justice system just hasn’t been paying close attention.

In fact, when you look at the Washington in-crowd that also includes Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Joe Biden, Kathleen Sebelius, John Kerry and Zeke Emanuel, you could easily get the idea that when it comes to existential threats to America, Iran ranks no higher than tenth or eleventh.

I was never a partisan of Chris Christie, so it hardly concerns me that his poll numbers are dropping. But even if he hadn’t spent so much of October, 2012, cuddling with Barack Obama, I would have questioned his sanity once I learned, as I recently did, that he has attended 127 Bruce Springsteen concerts. I would expect that sort of thing from a teenager with a very rich, very indulgent, father, not from a grown-up with his eye on the White House. Frankly, I’m surprised that the tabloids haven’t glommed on to this and gone to town with headlines asserting that The Boss Has a Thing for “The Boss.”

Until I read about it in Townhall magazine, I’d been unaware that in 2012, the biographies of nearly all the past presidents were changed on to include something about Obama. So, for instance, Reagan’s bio was expanded to include the claim that Obama has the same tax policy as the fellow who cut the number of tax brackets from 15 down to two.

Knowing what we do of Obama’s boundless audacity, you can’t help wondering about other possible changes. Did Obama help James Madison write the Constitution, insisting to the bitter end that he include something about income inequality? Did he warn Lincoln not to attend Ford’s Theater, explaining that “Our American Cousin” had a deadly third act? Did he counsel FDR not to go to war with Germany and Japan, and, instead, to give peace a chance?

It’s no wonder that Obama will go down in history as last in war, last in peace and last in the hearts of his countrymen.

From 1927 through 1930, the Motion Picture Academy nominated five movies as the best of the year. In 1931, they nominated eight contenders. The next year, they nominated 10. It stayed that way until 1944, when they limited the number to five. Then, a couple of years ago, they changed it back up to 10. It certainly wasn’t because Hollywood had begun turning out great movies. There were two main reasons for the change. One, it helps sell tickets when you can mention an Oscar nomination in the ads. Two, it’s not easy satisfying all the humongous egos in Hollywood, and doubling the number of producers, directors and stars, who can brag they had something to do with an Oscar-nominated film is a pretty easy way to make it happen.

This year, for some reason, they only saw fit to nominate nine. Of the nine, I saw six. Of the six, only two were worthy of any sort of award, unless it were something bestowed by the pharmaceutical industry to honor the best sleep inducer not sold in a bottle. What is most notable about the number of nominees is that clearly they could have named a tenth, but chose not to. And the film that wasn’t on the list in spite of decent reviews, great box office and sensational word of mouth – and my own personal favorite of the year, even though I don’t happen to like war movies — was “Lone Survivor.”

Was the fact it depicted American soldiers as authentic heroes, and not as thugs, rapists and mercenaries, the reason that such soporifics as “Her,” “American Hustle” and “Dallas Buyers Club” survived the cut and “Lone Survivor” didn’t?

When Wendy Davis, the woman who is trying to ride her 11-hour filibuster against a bill that would have banned abortions after the 20th week of pregnancy into the Texas governor’s mansion, was caught lying about her personal history, she said that in the future she would have to tighten up her language.

Did I hear “Tighten up her language?!” Translated into English, would that be “Stop lying?”

What is it with these creeps that prevent them from speaking like actual human beings? With politicians, they never fess up to fibbing. Instead, they misspeak, talk back their earlier statement or are guilty of not tightening up their language.

In Davis’s case, one of the things she wasn’t tight enough about was the fact that she did not work her way through college and law school; instead, her second husband paid her way. What’s more, in a breathtaking display of chutzpah, she walked out of the marriage the day after the poor schnook paid off the last of her school loans.

I am reminded of L.A.’s publicity-mad lawyer, the uberliberal Gloria Allred. Although she also claimed to have done it all on her own, in fact it was, again, a second husband who paid her way through law school. Still, in spite of being a devout feminist, she demanded and received alimony. A few years later, her ex went to prison on a fraud charge; she showed her gratitude by refusing to accept even a penny less in alimony once he served his sentence, although by then, she was making a nice living and, as an ex-con, he couldn’t find a job.

It should also be mentioned that Mr. Allred adopted Gloria’s daughter by her first husband and even paid her way through Yale Law School.

Second husbands, beware: If your wife decides to become a lawyer, you’d be the biggest sucker in town if you even considered financing the enterprise. When all is said and done, she won’t even have to pay a third party to take you to the cleaners.

I am still recuperating from my hand and wrist surgery, but I’d like to thank all who wrote with their good wishes. Some mentioned the possibility that even though the surgery wasn’t life-threatening, there was a very real possibility that I would experience serious mood changes. I was told that for a while, I might have to endure either suicidal or homicidal urges.

The problem, I quickly realized, is that even prior to the operation, every time I thought about what Obama and his circus of trained fleas were doing to America, I was experiencing both urges simultaneously and constantly.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

“And The Winners Of This Year’s Razzies Are…”

In case you have never heard of the Razzies, they’re prizes handed out at a black tie event the night before the Oscars are bestowed. And unlike the Oscars, which are often awarded for no better reason than that some aging director has never won one before or because a sex symbol of either gender appeared in a movie without makeup or a toupee, the Razzies always go to the most deserving. That’s because they’re in recognition of the worst movies and the worst performances of the previous year.

Some of the people who have won multiple times include Sylvester Stallone, Kevin Costner, Adam Sandler, Demi Moore, Bo Derek, Sharon Stone and Madonna. Frankly, I think the network would get bigger ratings airing the Razzies than the Academy Awards. After all, how many times do we really need to see Meryl Streep on stage, clutching the little gold eunuch to her bosom, and blowing kisses to her various co-stars in the audience?

If the members of the current administration were in a movie, even Stallone and Madonna would be left out in the cold. Right off the bat, these creeps would cop the award for Worst President Ever, Worst Vice-President, Worst Attorney General and Worst Secretary of Health and Human Services. The only real competition would be for Worst Secretary of State, which would be a dog fight between two real dogs, John Kerry and Hillary Clinton, and could easily wind up in a tie.

Some people seem to think that too much attention has been paid to Chris Christie and the George Washington Bridge scandal. There have been so many defenses made on his behalf, it’s hard to keep track of them. One of them is that nothing should be allowed to deflect attention from ObamaCare. Then there’s the one that suggests it wasn’t that big a deal. If you don’t care for that, there’s the fact that Christie engaged in a two hour mea culpa session with the press. Finally, we have the always reliable “He took full responsibility.”

Taking them in order, for those who have lost or stand to lose their health insurance once the employer mandates kicks in later this year, nothing short of a nuclear attack is going to distract them. The rest of us, at least those who can walk and chew gum at the same time, can maintain our focus on two scandals simultaneously. After all, with Obama in the White House, we have had plenty of practice, sometimes even managing to stay on top of four or five scandals simultaneously.

Two, it was a pretty big deal. Anytime, a high profile politician finds himself tap-dancing as fast as he can in order to stay ahead of the mud oozing towards his shoes, only a Tibetan monk would have the will power not to stare.

Finally, although Obama has set an unbelievably low standard when it comes to taking responsibility for anything, I do not regard answering questions a major achievement or the firing of major aides as taking responsibility. He was, after all, the person whose lack of judgment placed those bums in positions of authority. If he can’t select his senior staff any better than that, what makes anyone think he’d do a better job of it once he was the nation’s chief executive?

Keep in mind this wasn’t some minor prank. Those punks shut down the busiest bridge in the United States for four consecutive days. If they felt they had to punish Fort Lee’s mayor, Mark Sokolich, a Democrat, for not backing a Republican for governor of New Jersey, they could have settled it in civilized fashion, perhaps challenging him to a trivia contest involving “The Sopranos” or Frank Sinatra’s greatest hits.

Finally, the next time I hear a politician say he’s taking responsibility, I want his next words to be “…and that is why I feel I must in good conscience resign as of noon today.”

Speaking of politicians who should resign, there was a vote in the House the other day on a bill that would have compelled the federal government to alert anyone who had signed up on the ObamaCare website that there had been a security breach and that computer hackers had swiped their personal information, including financial and medical. The Republicans voted 224 ayes, no nays; the Democrats voted 67 for, 122 against.

Target informed some 70 million customers that their computers had been hacked, but 122 Democrats didn’t think the federal government should be at least as honest and forthcoming as a major retailer. And, yet, I continue to hear from pinheads insisting that there’s absolutely no difference between the two parties.

Speaking of which, it would be great if next November and again in 2016, every Republican in America would stop whining about how awful Democrats are long enough to get off their butts and vote for any candidate with an (R) after his name. Granted, they won’t all be great. They won’t even all be conservatives, but each and every one of them will be better than the schmuck they’re running against.

I don’t know why it is so difficult for so many on our side to recognize that in certain states, a Ronald Reagan or Ted Cruz is never going to win an election. But if you sit home because you refuse to vote for those you demean as RINOs, thus allowing a liberal to win, you are aiding and abetting Obama, Pelosi and Reid. And that makes you a far bigger villain than John Boehner, Mitch McConnell, John McCain, Scott Brown or any other Republican on your personal hate list.

However you feel about moderates, unlike Democrats, they are on the right side every once in a while. If you disagree, how do you explain that every single Republican in Congress voted against the Affordable Care Act?

As William F. Buckley once said, “Vote for the most conservative candidate on the ballot…who can win.”

So, no matter how noble you think you are, as you sit there, Solomon-like, measuring every Republican like an assayer in those old westerns, testing rocks for gold content, you’re only conning yourself.

The truth is that any politician with an (R) after his or her name is doing far more to keep the barbarians at bay than you with your purity check list, carrying on like some secular Cotton Mather.

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write