Trayvon Martin, Meet Michael Brown

All it took for Al Sharpton and the other race hustlers to rush off to Ferguson, Missouri, was for a 6’4,” 250-pound gangbanger named Michael Brown to be shot while struggling for a cop’s gun. That’s also all it took for Eric Holder to decide to send the F.B.I. in to investigate what he decided within mere hours was a federal crime.

My question is why none of these actions are ever taken when, as is usually the case, it’s some black thug who’s killing other black people in Chicago, Detroit, Atlanta, Philadelphia and L.A. Perhaps it’s because if they did, Mr. Sharpton wouldn’t have the time left to host his MSNBC show and even Eric Holder would have to start skipping meals if he wanted to keep calling white people “racists” on what seems to be a daily basis.

As for Barack Obama, after finding a moral equivalence between Israel and Hamas, it wasn’t too surprising that he did the same when it came to the rabble who were rioting and looting in Ferguson and the members of the Ferguson P.D. who were merely trying to protect the law-abiding citizens and the businesses that employ them and serve their community.

Clearly, the president is a hollow shell without a moral compass. In fact, if anyone ever decided to stage a production of “The Wizard of Oz,” they could do it on the cheap by hiring Obama to play all three of Dorothy’s traveling companions. Unlike Ray Bolger, Jack Haley and Bert Lahr, this fellow was born to portray a man without a brain, a man without a heart and a third who lacked courage.

Although I have seen a number of photos on the Internet showing young Mr. Brown flashing gang signs that suggest he was an active member of the Bloods, the photos I haven’t seen, I’m happy to say, are those showing him as a cherubic-looking 10-year-old, as was the case with the 6’2” Trayvon Martin.

As you may have noticed, Hillary Clinton has been trashing Barack Obama’s foreign policy lately, hoping that we’ll all forget that as his Secretary of State, she implemented most of it for four long years, and that as recently as a few months ago she doubled down on the reset with Russia, insisting, with a straight face, that it was brilliant statecraft.

In the Middle East, we have the clearest divide between good and evil that has existed since World War II. On one side, we have peace-loving Christians, Jews and Yazidis, while on the other we have blood-lusting Islamic butchers. Things are so apparent that even the Vatican, against its long-standing tradition, has called for military action. And, yet, Obama, playing to his left-wing base, keeps assuring our enemies that we will never have boots on the ground. My question is: why do we even have a military, aside from providing a backdrop on those rare occasions when Obama wants to appear patriotic?

I’m just asking, you understand, but when people join the Army these days, is it with Obama’s personal guarantee that they’ll never be expected to engage in warfare?

When I heard that the divorce rate was going down in America, I took that as a good sign until I discovered it was because the marriage rate has plummeted even faster. Like just about every other societal calamity, I assume the source of this decline can be traced to our colleges and universities. One would assume that curriculum devoted to feminist studies, achieving self-induced multiple orgasms, experimenting with homosexuality and the acceptance of transgenderism as an alternate life style, would culminate with a generation that is so self-absorbed that marriage licenses will at some future point only exist at the Smithsonian, along with Jefferson’s writing desk, Franklin’s walking stick and dinosaur bones.

Another contributing factor is the portrayal of marriage on TV and in the movies. It is usually depicted as armed warfare, with husbands depicted as stupid, boring, close-minded louts and wives pictured as potential high-flyers who would be soaring through the clouds were it not for having had their glorious wings clipped through the twin tragedies of marriage and children.

These days, when laughs are at a premium, I found myself chuckling while watching a documentary dealing with Charley Chaplin’s depiction of Adolph Hitler in “The Great Dictator.” One of the talking heads in the documentary was Reinhard Spitzy, apparently a friend of Der Fuhrer. When asked if Hitler, apparently a great fan of American movies, had ever seen Chapin’s satire, Spitzy said he had, and not just once, but twice.

And when asked how Hitler would have reacted to it, Spitzy, insisted “He would have laughed. Hitler wasn’t dull. Hitler wasn’t a killjoy, and within the inner circle, he could definitely laugh at jokes.”

If Mel Brooks ever decides to make a sequel to “The Producers” with its “Springtime for Hitler” musical number, he could do a lot worse than “Hitler Wasn’t a Killjoy.”

Finally, someone let me know about a sign that was allegedly posted on the wall above the latrine at a country club. In my estimation, not since the great English humorist P.G. Wodehouse hung up his niblick, has anyone done a better job of summing up the world of golf: “Welcome to This Facility. It is the only place on the grounds where nobody will try to change your stance or adjust your grip.”

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©2014 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write

Counting Down to Armageddon and America, 2013

Although I can sympathize with those who want Kathleen Sibelius’s head on a pike, just as I can sympathize with those who would like to see Eric Holder replaced as the attorney general, both groups are ignoring the fact that Obama would merely replace them with puppets who were just as bad or, if humanly possible, even worse. This is the same schmuck, let us keep in mind, who replaced Leon Panetta with Chuck Hagel and Hillary Clinton with John Kerry.

For only the second time in our nation’s history have we elected three consecutive presidents to second terms. The first time it happened, we wound up with Jefferson, Madison and Monroe. This time, we got Clinton, Bush and Obama. Does anyone require a clearer picture of America’s decline?

According to the polls and pundits, the next Republican presidential candidate is likely to be someone like Ted Cruz, Rand Paul or Marco Rubio, but being a senator is not the best thing to have on your resume. Although I grant that Clinton and Bush aren’t the greatest examples of ex-governors in the Oval Office, we would do better to seek our candidate from the ranks of the 30 Republican governors than from the 45 members of the Senate. The problem is that senators get to spend a lot of time on TV, so we’re more familiar with them. But being the president is like being the CEO of the world’s biggest corporation, and it’s governors who have the necessary executive experience to do the job. All that senators are called upon to do is vote occasionally and yak incessantly.

One of the things that has made the controversy over the Affordable Care Act so tiresome was having to hear yahoos like Obama, Schumer and Durbin, parroting the line about its being the law of the land, and, therefore, Republicans had no business calling for its demise. Even that trio of dunces has to be aware that slavery was once the law of the land. And it wasn’t just the law in the South. In fact, slavery was the law under the Stars and Stripes for many more years than it was under the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy.

For another thing, gun ownership is not guaranteed by a mere law, but by the Second Amendment to the Constitution, and yet the same crowd of bullies and bozos who shoved the Affordable Care Act down our throats without a single Republican vote , are constantly trying to disarm us.

In case you missed the news, Germany, France, Mexico and Brazil, are just a few of the countries that have voiced their displeasure upon learning that the current administration has been tapping their phones. What’s more, Saudi Arabia has threatened to cut off diplomatic relations with the U.S. because of the way that Obama is kowtowing to their archenemies in Iran, Syria and Russia. The Saudis have announced they no longer trust Obama. That makes two of us.

Clearly, Obama meant it when he said that once he became president, the world would look at us in a whole new way. For once, he kept his word.

I mean, really, how dare Obama and Kerry cozy up to Iran when it’s widely known that their three most recent defense ministers were all directly involved in the 1983 bombing of the Marine barracks in Beirut, a bombing that resulted in the deaths of 241 American servicemen?

Has anyone else noticed that whenever this administration does something stupid or sleazy, Jay Carney claims Obama knew nothing about it until he read it in a newspaper? He knew nothing about Operation Fast & Furious; he knew nothing about Ambassador Stevens asking for additional security in Benghazi and he had no idea the consulate was under attack on 9/11/12; he knew zilch about the IRS targeting conservatives for the past several years; and he had not even a hint that there might be a problem with the rollout of the Affordable Care Act. I know the goofball plays a lot of golf and takes a lot of vacations, but really? Does he really enjoy being known as the Bystander-in-Chief?

The teachers union let it be known that it strongly objects to a bill that would prevent convicted sex offenders from being hired as teachers, counselors, coaches or janitors. Naturally, Rep. Keith Ellison backs the union, declaring that everyone deserves a second chance. Nobody bothered asking him if he meant a second chance to rape a school child.

Naturally, he and the union would be of a different mind if any of those creepy perverts exposed themselves and went “Bang-bang.” After all, schools, according to liberal pinheads, must maintain zero tolerance when it comes to weaponry, even if, 999 times out of a thousand, it means suspending six-year-olds, when the so-called smoking gun happens to be a tiny index finger.

It’s probably beside the point that Ellison is a Muslim. After all, left-wingers are always expected to back up unions. That is, if they expect campaign contributions to keep flowing into their re-election coffers. But what possible excuse can there be for people named Arif Alikhan, Mohammed Elibiary, Salam al-Marayati, Iman Mohamed Magid, Rashad Hussain and Eboo Patel, all being trusted advisors to Barack Hussein Obama? And, really, could Hillary Clinton, in a nation of 315,000,000 people, not find someone besides Huma Abedin (aka Mrs. Anthony Weiner) to be her closest aide and confidant?

Perhaps it’s just me, but I just don’t seem to recall a lot of people named Goering, Himmler and Hess, being in FDR’s inner circle the last time we were involved in an existential war with pure evil.

America, 2013

The United States isn’t going to the dogs, which would be a good thing. Instead, it’s going to the dolts.

You want proof? Okay, ABC asked a group of typical voters three questions. One: Is ObamaCare a socialistic program? (Yes, they replied.) Two: Is the Affordable Care Act a socialistic program? (No, they said.) Three: Is the Affordable Care Act better than ObamaCare? (Definitely, they decided.)

A few minutes after Danne Desbrow received a 53-year sentence for murder, Judge Patricia Cookson not only married him and his fiancée, Destiny, but Judge Cookson had baked them a cake to celebrate the happy occasion. Is there something about wearing a black robe to work that destroys brain cells? Or do you simply have to flunk an IQ test to get the job in the first place?

Barack Obama was cranky because the government shutdown caused him to cancel his trip to Asia. Inasmuch as it costs the taxpayers a tidy fortune every single time he leaves the White House, why is it he never engages in teleconferencing? If it works for people who actually have important business to conduct, it should certainly work for the campaigner-in-chief.

Every time I hear about some tyke who’s suspended from kindergarten for pointing a stick and going “Bang!” I recall that I and every single kid I grew up with played with guns — water and cap – and not one of us wound up killing anyone or having a rap sheet. So maybe, just maybe, it’s time for all you teachers and school principals to grow up and acknowledge gun violence has far more to do with values and parenting than it does with inanimate objects.

I find it odd that there wasn’t a single Democrat in the Senate who was willing to stand up and announce that Harry Reid doesn’t speak for him, that if the Republicans were willing to vote for a spending bill if all that was required was the elimination of the tax on medical instruments, he was all for it. After all, even the Democrats knew that particular tax was not only a sure way to kill thousands of jobs, but to discourage medical research. Can you even begin to imagine how wonderful the perks must be for a U.S. senator that 54 of them would rather be viewed as eunuchs than risk the ire of Obama, Reid and the DNC!

In spite of all the recent news about black-on-white crime; in spite of Eric Holder’s refusal to even indict blacks who intimidate white voters; in spite of all the demonstrations on behalf of black thugs staged by Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton; and in spite of Obama exhibiting far more regard for Muslims than for America’s Christians and Jews; a recent poll indicated that only 37% of white Americans regard black Americans as racists. It makes me wonder if the other 63% also lie to themselves or only to pollsters.

When the majority of House Republicans voted to conduct additional hearings regarding the IRS and Benghazi, the Democrats, taking their lead from their supreme leader, insisted the Republicans were playing politics over phony scandals. But when the Democrats passed ObamaCare without a single Republican vote, we were supposed to believe they were divinely inspired, and ignore the bribes and threats that emanated from Obama’s enforcers, Pelosi and Reid. It’s reminiscent of the Wizard of Oz insisting that Dorothy and her traveling companions pay no attention to the fellow behind the curtain.

In closing, I’ll leave you with three quotes. Henry David Thoreau said, “Beware of enterprises that require new clothes.” Ben Jonson said, “Being on a ship is like being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.”

I say: “Liberal politicians remind me of those testosterone-deprived willowy lads one used to see, and perhaps still sees, holding lighted candles and swaying at Bono concerts. Unfortunately, too many Republican politicians seek to emulate those twerps, hoping to woo female voters.

“My advice to them is to forget about it. They merely make a hash of it and wind up embarrassing themselves. If a woman happens to go for that type — as with shoes and handbags — she wants the genuine article, and not the cheap knock-off.”

©2013 Burt Prelutsky. Comments? Write