Boston Marathon Bombing a Bush-Cheney Conspiracy?

george-bushThe father of the Tsarnaev brothers was interviewed in Russia, and an aunt was interviewed in Canada. Both claimed that the boys were framed, that this whole thing was a setup.

They may not know it, but they have set the table for America’s vast horde of conspiracy theorists. I imagine that these wackos are combing their imaginations  right now, and that in the days just ahead they will favor us with their speculations.

Do you need a little food for thought, guys? Glad to provide some.

First of all, we  have to implicate Dick Cheney in this. We know that with George W. Bush’s approval he masterminded the charade on Sept. 11, 2001, in which 19 kindly, lovable Al-qaeda militants were framed for the destruction of the World Trade Center and the severe damage to the Pentagon. The plot involved all law-enforcement agents of the United States, all Republican members of Congress, the entire Bush administration, and Fox News.  Oh, and did I mention Israel?

Some say that the U.S. establishment may not actually have executed the 9/11 attacks themselves, but that they had full information about the plot, and that they let it happen because they knew they could use it as a pretext to remove Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq. Either way, it is Cheney’s fault, and Bush’s, and the Tea Party’s. And perhaps, though this is not certain, the pro-Life evangelicals and Rick Santorum. And a substantial portion of the people who are against same-sex marriage. And let’s throw in Mitt Romney, just in case.

This incident in Boston is essentially a repeat of that scenario.  We are not blaming President Obama or anybody in the present administration for this. Once again, we are blaming Bush and Cheney. They are both retired, with too much time on their hands, so they began looking around for ways to harm their fellow citizens, a task at which they are masters.

At the suggestion of a white-supremacist militia leader who lives nearby, Cheney decided some months ago to kill and injure a substantial portion of the participants and fans who planned to attend the Boston Marathon. The plot was given extra gravitas because of the Marathon’s proximity to Patriot’s Day. Patriot’s Day, which commemorates the battles at Lexington and Concord in 1775, has been a rallying point for white supremacists, because many of the people who fought for the Colonies in those battles owned slaves.

Cheney, who is believed to surreptitiously keep slaves on his cotton farm in Wyoming, thought it would be especially appropriate to conduct a terrorist attack on the Boston Marathon because Massachusetts is a blue state.

Then how, you may wonder, did the dupes in law enforcement come to the conclusion that the explosions at the Marathon were detonated by two obscure young men wearing baseball caps?

The preliminary explanation is that in fact the bombs were planted with the cooperation of George Bush’s two daughters. They are known to have visited the lingerie counter at Lord & Taylor, adjoining the Marathon route, not long before the race began.  While the sales staff was making a fuss over them, their bodyguards slipped away and planted a phony tape in the store’s surveillance camera. The tape showed the two fall guys, the Tsarnaev brothers, walking along a sidewalk carrying backpacks. There is nothing illegal about walking, or even carrying backpacks!

As to who actually planted the bombs, the principal suspects are Clarence Thomas and John Boehner, although the list of suspects can be expanded to include Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz or Rand Paul if any of them seems likely to win the GOP presidential nomination next time. President Obama, who is aware of the speculation about a conspiracy in Boston, strongly favors a scenario in which Boehner would be implicated. Some of the more level-headed people in his inner circle have opposed this theory, saying that it is dubious, and that without proof it could turn out to be a lie.

To which Obama is said to have replied: “Lie, shmie, as long as it helps elect Democrats.”