Oh, not that kind. I’m speaking of southpaws. I’ve lived my life as a southpaw, and I must say that I don’t mind at all. However, I must call to your attention that the real discrimination in the world isn’t aimed at race, religion, or political leaning, it’s definitely against left-handed people.
Look at how many things are made exclusively to suit you righties. Maybe things have changed since I was in school (back in the dark ages), but most – if not all – the desk tops protruded from the right side and were only a half of desk, so to speak. Meaning that it didn’t extend across to the left side. It also only had an arm rest on the right side, so that lefties had to sit sideways in their seat, with their backsides sticking out in the aisle, with no place to rest their arm while writing. It was very inconvenient!
Not to mention how southpaws try to be considerate when eating out. We always stand back and try to figure out where we should sit so as not to inconvenience our right-handed friends and relatives. There are only two places at a rectangular table for us to sit. The far left end is the only logical place for us. That’s so our elbows stick out in thin air and we don’t rub elbows with our fellows righties. A square table is just sit wherever you want and ditto with a round one. We just take our chances and hope that we don’t eat someone else’s salad, which has happened from time to time. Or, drink your neighbor’s tea or coffee, thinking it’s yours. As for me, I guess I’m a double dilemma because I cut meat right-handed but butter bread left-handed. A coffee mug has to be on the left side of the plate, but a glass for iced tea or Coke must be on the right side of my plate I must drive my friends and relatives crazy.
Actually I think most lefties are mixed up and at least part ambidextrous. For instance, when I first got married, both my husband and my brother were just learning to play golf. So I went to a local golf range with them to hit balls. They got me a left-handed golf club, and I couldn’t hit the side of a barn with it. So they exchanged it for a right-handed club, and although I wasn’t cut out to be a golfer, I could at least hit the side of the barn with the right-handed club. As a kid in school, when we played baseball, I was a left-handed pitcher and a right-handed batter, and yet I’ve always heard that it’s more advantageous to bat left-handed, because you’re closer to first base. Hmmmmmmm?
There are other strange things that we do – at at least – I do. My daughter thinks I’m crazy because I use my left foot to use the brake in the car, and my right one for the accelerator. I don’t think that’s weird at all. Why not do it? That way you’ll never mistake the brake for the accelerator, as I’ve heard that some old folks have done. They have been known to hit the accelerator thinking it’s the brake, and sail across an intersection crashing into a wall, and causing a wreck to themselves and maybe some innocent person. Had they used their left foot for the brake it never would have happened.
Last, and least in importance, is signing papers, especially legal ones in a lawyer’s office. You’re sitting across the desk from the lawyer, and when the time comes, and he/she always turns the papers to be signed in the direction and the convenience of right-handed people. Oh well…
When I get to heaven, I wonder if Saint Peter will open the “Pearly Gate” with his left hand or his right one. I really don’t care as long as I get in.