Gee, I Wonder Why Al Jazeera America is Bombing …

Al Jazeera AmericaThis just in:  Nobody in the United States is watching Al Jazeera America.

Technically, that’s not true.  I should have said, almost nobody in the United States is watching Al Jazeera America.

The network averaged 23,000 total viewers in primetime for the week ended Sept. 1, according to Nielsen, and 18,000 in total day.  To put those numbers in perspective, I had more people over at my house for lunch the other day!

Just between us, I checked out Al Jazeera America a few times, and you know what?  It’s not that that bad.  It’s not that good, either, but neither is CNN.

So why isn’t Al Jazeera doing better?  Here’s the answer, my news junkie friends:  Al Jazeera America is a bust because it’s called AL JAZEERA AMERICA!!!

Imagine that a new comedian pops up and he’s funny enough to make it in show biz.  But his name is Howie Hitler.  He’s finished before he starts.  So he changes his name to something else.  To anything else, actually.  But he doesn’t call himself Howie Hitler.

Memo to Al Jazeera America:  Change your name.

Americans don’t want to tune in to a network associated with the Arab Al Jazeera that some thought was a mouthpiece for Osama bin Laden; a network that throws on-air birthday parties for Arabs who kill Israelis.  And most advertisers don’t want any part of the network, either.  No viewers, no advertisers equal … no future.

So here’s where you, dear readers, come in:  What should Al Jazeera America change its name to?  Post your comments below.  Funny is good.

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  • Frank Provasek

    The second-largest holder of voting stock in Fox News/.News Corp. is Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal, a nephew of the Saudi king. And through his philanthropies, Waleed has given generously to initiatives pursued by the imam, Feisal Abdul Rauf, to build the mosque near the World Trade Center, Destroyed by Saudi terrorists. The prince gave Rudy Giuliani a $10 million check after 9/11 that was sent back when the Saudis said the US shared the blame for 9/11 because of our support of Israel when we KNOW that it makes the Muslims very unhappy that Israel and Jews even EXIST.

  • Corvus

    It’s pretty sad how the majority of you can probably vote. You’re already making unfounded judgements based on the /name/ of the network. I guess it wouldn’t take much for your favorite politicians or news anchors to sway you to their views. Oh you silly sheeple.

  • John

    Fire all the Liberals you hired that worked for CNN like Soledad Obrien and many others. We already have approx 6 TV channels with this garbage. Your best bet is to show The international version instead of the Biased crap from USA liberals you have hired period. We have enough MSNBC spin idiots already on the alphabet channels too. Try reporting real news that is what made CNN sucesssful once? upon a time; truth and real news got it yet? Not all of us are Obama lovers>. And yes change the name to Al capone Network, fire the Liberals and go from their…….

  • David Grant

    I should say that I familiar with Al Jazeera International which is in fact different than Al Jazeera America.

    • John

      You are correct so is CNN international. I watch both but of them, right along with BBC. But no US Based because 80 percent or more is just repeat garbage.

  • David Grant

    I am not familiar with Al Jazeera America, but I am familiar with both Al Jazeera and Fox News as my cable package includes both. If I were given a choice between these two networks, I would choose Al Jazeera for a variety of reasons. For one, there is ACTUAL news on Al Jazeera and a great variety of views-including those on the right that appear on Fox News and other networks. It also covers the whole world, not just the United States. It has no resemblance to the stereotypical views put by Mr. Goldberg and his friends at Fox News. I would challenge him to watch Al Jazeera International and see if there any hint of Anti-American bias or Anti-Semitism, or pro Al-Quada views. It is true that Al-Jazeera comes with a point of view, but it no way as narrow as Fox News or much of the American news media.

    • Frank Provasek

      They have a solid code of ethics, and seem to be following it. http://america.aljazeera.com/tools/code-of-ethics.html

      Fox ordered a reporter to lie about the safety of a Monsanto growth hormone to make cows produce more milk. When she refused to lie, she was fired and won a $425,000 settlement, which she had to give back when Fox found “activist judges” that overruled the jury verdict

      “In February 2003, a Florida Court of Appeals unanimously agreed with an assertion by FOX News that there is no rule against distorting or falsifying the news in the United States.

      “Fox” argued that, under the First Amendment, broadcasters have the right to lie or deliberately distort news reports on public airwaves. Fox
      attorneys did not dispute Akre’s claim that they pressured her to
      broadcast a false story, they simply maintained that it was their right to do so.”

      • David Grant

        You are right about their code of ethics, it is close to the BBC and CBC(Canada’s version of the BBC). If one were to ask the American journalists why they are working for Al Jazeera it is that they can do real reporting. The comments on this posting show the real ignorance of the public. Thanks for bringing the story about Monsento. For those who want more information on this story, can watch the documentary, “The Corporation” which goes in more detail into the story. The extra interviews give even more information about it. What is revealing is that this goes on a lot more than any of us believe. The good news for those of us who live in the Great White North is that Fox News North, Sun News Network, is not doing so well. I don’t have it, but I have seen clips of it, and it is pretty dreadful. I do get Fox, but I also get Al Jazeera, BBC, and RT. I think what is offensive about Fox is that it was available in Canada for long time before Al Jazeera existed. Still, the news about Sun news bad performance is great news eh!!!!

  • ibraney

    Toucha Mi Burkha, Al Jazeerya.

  • jay

    This network spread the biased muslim spin during the gulf war…get the heck out of America…go peddle your propoganda crap to the muslims over there

  • Sheik Yer Bhouti

    This network is about propaganda, not mass audiences.
    If they get 25,000 viewers,
    that’s a lot of potential jihadists, terrorists and suicide bombers.

  • TheGoodDoctor

    Al-a-Lone.

  • Don

    How about the IKY (I Keel You) network?

  • Culturist

    Weeeell weeeell weeeell – with all those faithful millions of Al-Gore minions, plus a few thousand curious viewers and a few thousand more accidental ones making up the total, Nielsen showed us that the bountiful attendance of the “Million Al-jazeera-viewer march” a few days ago was no fluke. Not even those millions-of-minions are interested so there must be good reason to not – – – –
    But of course! AJA is in Infidel-language!! So is not real Al Jazeera !!

    However, there are still thousands sucking up the real stuff from Abu Hamza, Al Awlaki et al.
    Thankfully the NSA can see them (when they are on line)

  • Cordelia Mae Crockett

    Perhaps”Guide US TV”, a station that bashes every faith except one is getting all the viewers.

  • AgentofACORN

    Al Jazeera America was not a good choice for a name. Maybe AJA News? It certainly does a better job presenting news than Fox, but actual news is gettingharder to find on Fox especially with the 7 p.m. “News” hour going away. sadly the low information voters that comprise the majority of the Fox audience wouldn’t know the difference anyway

    • Sheik Yer Bhouti

      NEWS ???
      It seems that news is only about what the liberal media wants us to know.
      Grow up and learn that’s there is another view of the world that doesn’t include pandering to people who don’t like you anyway.

  • Dave

    Pravda 2

  • Dave

    NFI…..News for Infidels.

    • Tova Feinman

      Yours is my favorite.

  • Vicky060

    Maybe the way to look at Al Jazeera (pun intended) is that Al Gores’ viewers aren’t smart enough to find the remote. Mencken would have agreed. Come to think of it, Gore isn’t smart enough to find it either.

  • keyster

    The Freedom and Democracy Network
    Make Orwell and Alinsky proud.

  • Pat Comstock

    I have been watching Al Jazeera a lot since it made it’s appearance, and, I agree with you, Bernie. It seems to be making an attempt to be objective and informative in it’s reporting. But, it really hard for me to get used to the name!! I just don’t LIKE it!! The name is a turn off . !! Hitler, call your office! How about World Vision USA?

  • Dthree

    Why change your name if you can’t or won’t change your identity. Too many on the left try to conceal their agenda that way and it shows how dishonest they are.

  • Bob Olden

    I don’t think MJN has been taken. That’s the Media Jihad Network.

  • me

    name yourself “I blow myself up like a dumbass network.”

  • falcon7204

    Maybe in a few months we can call them OTA – Off the Air.

  • poptoy1949

    You are really surprised?

  • DSul47

    The Today Show

  • Frank

    AL America – you put Al Bundy on there and run a few “Married with Children”s and the low information crowd will switch from CNN

  • Jose Nasser

    AL Jazeera Gore, is what I’ve been calling them ever since our illustrious “green” dumbass sold his interest for a very big profit.

    • Lance Combs

      No, we’re talking about how to get them MORE viewers, not less.

  • Random_acct

    Bernie, you don’t give them enough credit. Progressives no doubt love the name because it is exotic and certainly not Christian. Give them time to get the word out that they are in America.

  • melanerpes

    AGCH2 (which is short for Al Gore’s Second Chakra).

  • Another Fox Drone

    Well…”Osama Don’t Dance and Osama Don’t Rock ‘N Roll.” C’mon. Sing along. You. Know the words.”

  • Mike

    Aktor Achmed Aboodullaha Abamajinedad Saddamee
    Hyatolo Kuomainy Muzyikinko Husseiny Już za Nitwit Pojawi Się. AAAASHKMHJZNPS
    for short.

  • DanB_Tiffin

    Al Jazeera America? I will seek my entertainment elsewhere.

  • dawngael

    Get rid of the cable – I did and don’t miss it a bit.

  • Tim Ned

    OOTN; Out-Of-Touch-Network News

  • DonaldYoungsRevenge

    “The Pork Galore Network” or “Swinehood Network” or “72 Virgins Alert”

  • Ed in Albany

    How about Continuous Radical Arab Propoganda (CRAP).

  • D Parri

    All That Jazz, America! Network

  • D Parri

    Donkey Hoedown Network? (DHN)

  • TOMMY FREEDOM

    OBAMA & CO WOULD WATCH TO GLEEM THEIR GOOD IDEAS FOR OUR
    FOREIGN POLICY!

  • D Parri

    Ok then, maybe… American Bombing Corporation (ABC), or al-Nusra Bombing Coalition (al-NBC), or Chechen Bomb Squad (CBS), or even Finding Obama Xcellent (FOX). Oh, what’s that? Those are all taken? Oh well….

  • D Parri

    How ’bout … Obama & Co., the News Jeer rah

  • semmy

    Obama & Friends

  • D Parri

    In order to expand the market base they could alternate weekly from the original Al Jazeera to “All Jews Era”, and phonetically wouldn’t have to change anything. The novel thing would be most people would never know which one was being promoted most of the time.

  • Walt

    Algorzofobia

  • Tom

    The “No Brains Network”! As in, “We want to eat American brains!”.

  • Buster Hyman

    Or Algizm

  • Buster Hyman

    Arabobama

  • chrismatt

    Here’s a more commercial name: “Al Gore-ra”

  • 1940voter

    Nothing like watching the enemies ship sink after being bombed by the facts.

  • Integrity

    Silence! I kill you! Network SIKYN

  • runner

    my best friends beheading

  • Dad3boys

    Since redneck is in, how about, “Al-Gorged-on-Beer-uh?”

  • Simon Says

    Just leave it as it is, let them die a long, painful death., though, “Camel Jockey Races” might bring in a few viewers.

  • Scrivener

    USA – UnAmerican Socialist Activities

  • Denver Goddess

    NAMBLA Network

  • The Curmudgeon

    Something more honest like; DIE!! American Infidel Bastards, The Islamist Propaganda Network ( we kill you because we can ), Global Caliphate Network. I could go on.

  • watcherofolde

    Dhimmi News Network

  • Ali

    Osama Uber Alles

  • FloridaJim

    “The right Hand of god” I am reading a book on Africa and it explains why muslims do not shake hands with their right hand.

    • runner

      what do they beat the bishop, I mean imam, with?

  • http://www.facebook.com/frederick.theobald.5 Frederick Theobald

    How about OFFS. Oh for [blank] sake !

  • fitzsimmons Photography

    Glory Glory Haljeezera!!

  • dlmstl

    Please, let’s hope these Middle East nimrods keep this things afloat as long as possible. They’re giving some likely to be washed up MSM hacks a paycheck instead of unemployment!! Maybe some of the low information types will watch and finally realize what this bunch is all about afterall. It really is horrible. Now you know why many of them wear those Holiday Inn towels and sometimes live in tents out in the desert.

  • Wil

    Al Gore America

    • Hugh Petersen

      Yup. I was going to say that.

    • gepaza

      AlGor Jeerz America!

  • ibraney

    The newspaper edition’s motto is: “Al the Jazeera that’s fit to print.”

  • philpad

    Why should I want to help them??? You didn’t buy stock did you???

  • DTM

    MSNBC2

    • semmy

      Best answer.

  • Chuck Goldberg

    A slight modification could do it: Al That Jazeera.

  • Al Obermann

    Al Obermann , Oooohh you wanted to boost ratings ! Never mind .

  • penelope

    gore is a traitor for selling to the arabs who hate our country and our freedoms unless they are using them against us; hope they fail miserably; if they need money they can ask gore, the traitor, for a refund

    • Phillip

      You got it dead-on right, Penelope. The Arab countries hate us and the freedoms we enjoy and will do their best to use this network to bring us down. Al Gore is an abhorrent turncoat for selling out to them. I hope this network fails like no other in history so I say please keep your name. NO CHANGING IT- Thank you!

  • Drew Page

    It can’t go off the air soon enough. I have watched a few minutes of an early episode where their invited guest speaker regaled the audience with his perception of why the U.S. favored Israel over Palestinians. It was pretty much what I expected and switched channels. I should have watched longer to find out who the sponsors were, so that I could write and tell them I would not be buying their goods or services.

    Leave the name unchanged. It will collapse all the sooner.

  • Buz

    Aller Dreck

  • barry soetoro

    Bernie,

    Do we really need to help Al Jazeera market itself better?

    My advice to Al Jazeera is this: Jump off a cliff.

  • Dan McVicker

    “Al Gorezeera” Or maybe “The Farsi Factor.” O’Reilly would like that one.

  • Seattle Sam

    Virgin TV (sorry Richard)

  • Seattle Sam

    Jazeera doctor in the house?

  • Seattle Sam

    Hmm. They seem to be having the same problem Air America did.

  • rbblum

    Al Jazeera America could game the market by changing its name to AL . . .using Paul Simon’s ‘You Can Call Me AL’ as the theme song.

  • Seattle Sam

    Camel 44

  • Seattle Sam

    MSNBC. Avoid the duplicate effort.

    • 10579

      MSNBC They just hired alec baldwin for a show

  • cl

    no- don’t change the name … we want it to die

    • BAraCKWARD

      Exactly. Call a spade a spade and let it die a natural death.

  • carlos_8102

    How about the Al Jarreau network? “We’re in this mess together”

  • Bob C

    Howie Jazeera

  • rudebutcool

    How about “the voice of the 1000 cuts at your heart network” or for short “TV1000″ or maybe “the voice of 72 virgins”

    • Drew Page

      What if the 70 “virgins” are all menopausal and look like their grandfathers? What if the 70 virgins are men? The old timers that recruit these young guys to be martyrs never really get around to providing details about what these “virgins” are going to look like. You will notice that the recruiters are never the ones who strap on the bombs to themselves.

      • http://1389blog.com/ 1389AD

        If the 72 virgins are male, a heck of a lot of Muslim men would prefer it that way. Just sayin’.

  • Sakemoto

    In an effort to appeal to a broader audience, Al Jazeera is changing it’s name to Al JewZeera.

  • burgh59

    The contest is over, morefandave wins with “MSNBC 2″.

  • morefandave

    How about MSNBC 2?

  • Vivian

    I believe there are a few news readers that left CNN to join…AL’CNN…

  • FRANK CARMEN, L.r.c.

    Who the Fuck cares about the “success of ‘Al-JizumInTheirRear-Enda”?? FRACK Them! I Hope their ratings go to 1!
    Maybe then those Fucking Towel-Heads will go away and we can Glorify the Deaths of 3000 of their employees after a few of the Navy’s Tomahawk Missiles miss Syria and Blow Up their Studio Hdqs {when very One of them are inside the Building}.

  • docww

    How about “All We Do is Jeerya TV”.

  • http://shawmut.blogspot.com/ Dave O’Connor

    I’ve been referring to it as “Al Gorezeera” for it license origin. Would they get a license if not for the mercenary deal of Gore.
    It might just be that it had the option of first release from certain bandits of a Middle-Asia region as well.
    No, it’s not that – “that that” – bad for a cluster of newsreaders.

    • Dan McVicker

      Sorry Dave. I just scrolled down and saw we had the same idea. Pardon

      • http://shawmut.blogspot.com/ Dave O’Connor

        As you see, more than a few of us had the same idea. We should remember how close we came to calling Al Gore, Mr. President.

        • JanelleHumbert

          Dave…….you’re right. Have you heard the clip where he advocating injecting spider DNA into goats to “enable them to secrete spider silk from their udders”?

    • Drew Page

      You know ‘Alpha Male Al’, he’ll do anything for a buck. With the money the new owners will lose on this deal, we can count on oil prices going up.

  • http://hemingwayreport.blogspot.com/ MerchantofVenom

    They should have called it Al Gore Zeera.

    Gore said he wouldn’t sell Current TV to Glenn Beck because, “he wanted to sell it to someone who’s views are more in line with his own.” So he sold it to a oil rich terrorist network and wanted the deal closed before December 31st so he wouldn’t have to pay his fair share in additional taxes. So you see… he really is a green guy.

    • http://shawmut.blogspot.com/ Dave O’Connor

      It’s a family thing in the Gore family, Dad did deals with Armand (KGB) Hammer, for which he was rewarded handsomely with Occidental Oil stocks – which was a base for Al, Junior’s fortune.

      • http://1389blog.com/ 1389AD

        In most cases the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree. Much the same happened with the Philby family.

    • Vivian

      Excellent!!!

  • steve

    Anti-American news or frods or made up storys that air Anti-American,,storys, is not what Americans want to here 24/7…unless u r timmithy macvay…hopefully this bombs,,and middle east news and lies can go back to were they came from…freedom of the press is a right..but Anti-American news will put the right back to the right..back to the middle east…steve

  • legal eagle

    Wonder why Bernie does not bring up the fact that the Saudis are major investors in Fox News? We’ll see on 9/11 whether Fox mentions that most of the killers were Saudis…

    • Bingo

      Guess you don’t watch Fox because they bring it up all the time. Also, does it matter if Saudis invest in Fox? Maybe they like Fox news and want to know what the real story is.

      • legal eagle

        They Know Murdoch will do anything to make a buck because he has no ethical or moral scruples…

        • wilsonee

          Do really think Fox News is friendly to the Arab or Saudi causes? Or are you just a racist who believes Arabs shouldn’t own stock?

          • legal eagle

            Friendly to Saudi causes? Absolutely…keeping oil prices high, defending oil company profits etc…It’s all about money to Rupert…
            I don’t care who owns Fox….I don’t care who owns Al Jazeera either…

          • wilsonee

            You mean keeping oil prices high by pushing fracking! #Thanks for playing.

          • legal eagle

            Fracking has no effect on oil prices….

        • Vivian

          Just like YOU…

    • Drew Page

      They were all Saudis. The Saudis want us to put a stop to Iran’s nuclear development, yet still fund the Madrasas that preach ‘Death to America”.
      We invaded the wrong country.

      Open up ANWAR; keep on frakin'; start up new off shore exploration; and drill baby drill. It wouldn’t hurt to get the Keystone Pipeline up and running, build some new refineries and a few nuclear power plants.

    • Stimpy

      There’s a sheik who is a major investor in Krispy Kreme. Are you going to stop eating their donuts?

      • Happy

        Oh I know donutjeeratthisshow

      • http://1389blog.com/ 1389AD

        Cut back on the carbs! Eat more bacon!

  • ibraney

    Allah News, Allah Time

    • Le Marteau

      Winner!

  • george

    I looked a couple of times out of curiosity it reminded me of NPR

    • bearmountain

      You’re right. It sucks.

  • gerry

    The Al Gore Flatulent Channel

    • morefandave

      No good-it’s redundant!

  • 10579

    ladybabs what do you expect from a lying liberal democrat marxist. They would not know the truth even if it hit them between the eyes. Or maybe it should?

  • Scott

    Hallelujah!!! or Al-jazeera-lujah!!

  • EddieD_Boston

    How about The ‘I Hate Americans’ Network. That’d pick up a ton of viewers in Cambridge, Hollywood and Berkley.

  • Ralph Hahn

    ladybabs07: I share your sentiments about Fox News. However “guanta 22″ was writing about Fox BUSINESS Network, a separate channel. BTW: WHERE is that news release releasing the new time slot change that Fox News had promised to release in late August?? Nothing on the internet on it since Aug 6 or 8.

  • joe

    MSNBC should change to “The Race Channel” and get it over with.
    Al-J should change to ME (Middle East) NBC

  • Ralph Hahn

    How about MSNBC2?

    • ph16

      That’s pretty much it in a nutshell. I wonder who’s their Chris Matthews.

    • morefandave

      You beat me to it. I posted this suggestion before I noticed yours. It was obviously inspired

  • Robert E. Wills

    MSNBC……oh wait….never mind

  • joe

    Elitist libs like the name Al-Jazeera because to watch it is impressive in the sense “Look at me! Why, I gather in ALL points of view. Seriously!”

    The problem is, if they actually did, they would have read Amir Taheri, Walid Phares, Benador Associates and others born in, living in or embedded in the Middle East. If they did, they would not have said so many stupid things about Iraq. Instead, they preferred the same advocacy journalists embedded in…Manhattan, Boston or London.

  • Robyn

    This is an easy question. Why, ah, SANDTV of course!

  • KAG505

    Bernie, calling it something else doesn’t make it any better or less than what it is. The only thing that changes is the logo, not the message. It just becomes Al-queda in disguise.

    • morefandave

      But changing the name changes the perception. Discriminating (in all senses of the word) viewers will watch anti-American stuff as long as they don’t realize it’s FOREIGN-originated anti-American stuff; the domestic anti-Americanism is okay.

      • Drew Page

        If I want to see anti-American news reports, I’ve got the MSM.

  • Sakemoto

    Ali-Baba TV

    • Bradsteraz

      Or Ali-Blabba TV

  • kayakbob

    Thanks Bernie. I have had no interest in Al Jazeera TV, until today. Now I have to check it out. Do you think they will still be in business when I get home tonight?

  • JimTreacher

    PBUH TV

    • soundnfury

      Specializing in the Grand Pubah.

  • gman213

    Al Rivera TV…maybe the will hire Geraldo.

  • Joe N

    News of the Americas Network. Actually, I am trying to get them to do a story of corruption in American courts and why it happens. I believe they would get some instant credibility if they would do a story the major networks will not touch—believe me I have tried to get the story out

  • KAG505

    Aljazeera has been part of the programming offered by the Dish Network since the mid 1990’s when I worked there. Here is a description of the channel from the Dish website “:24 hours-a-day and exclusively on DISH Network, Al Jazeera is the only Arabic news channel in the Middle East that offers news from around the world. Al Jazeera has a wide selection of documentaries and uncensored political talk shows.” Just a harmless entertainment channel. When I asked if anyone was monitoring the channel to see exactly what was being shown, no one could answer the question. They could have been broadcasting terrorist information for years for all anyone at Dish knew.

  • DesertLady

    A while back I got a text on my phone from them–assumed it was spam. Oh, right, it was!

  • gold7406

    al jazeera, al queda, “what difference does it make.”
    just when you thought current tv couldn’t get any worse, shazaam
    having a slogan, “watch or we kill you”……. needs improvement
    change the logo to a hookah, you’ll be #1 in the SF, Colorado, and Seattle market.

  • Linda-B

    NFI.. News For Infidels

  • RedinDenver

    Terrorists ‘R’ Us

  • Sakemoto

    Al-Fatwa TV

  • Stimpy

    Fatah Knows Best

    • newsjoc2004

      The BEST!

    • JanelleHumbert

      Skimpy, this made me laugh yesterday and again this morning!

  • 550d8e4c

    How about “Terrorist TV”.

  • petemc

    Infidel News Network

    • newsjoc2004

      Laughed out loud on this one–OUTSTANDING!

  • Mexray

    The Algae Network…”Watch TAN – It will fill your bucket with Scum…”

  • legal eagle

    Bernie has provided a public forum for those who are prejudiced against Muslims….Thanks Bernie for your public service…

    • Linda-B

      Terrorists, not all Muslims.

      • 10579

        Then why don’t they speak up?Why, you are still an infidel to them and if they had a chance they would send you to be with allah for conversion.

    • RedinDenver

      Why is it that any critique related (even indirectly) to certain groups inspire some to scream racism, prejudice, bias, etc?

      Al Jazeera made their own bed, and Bernie’s only point out that it was probably a bad idea to use the name they did.

      • KAG505

        Not to worry. Legal eagle has proven by numerous previous posts that he is nothing more than a troll.

      • http://johndalybooks.com/ John Daly

        RedinDenver,

        I can explain this. Legal Eagle is not actually a person, but rather an Internet-bot that automatically responds to columns on right-leaning websites with accusations of racism, regardless of the columns’ content.

        We’ve all just been hoping that the battery runs out at some point.

        • legal eagle

          Seems that disagreement with right wing ideologues like yourself is discouraged just like in any cult…

          • http://johndalybooks.com/ John Daly

            Calling everyone “Archie Bunker” and “bitter old white guys” anytime they post a message isn’t a “disagreement”, R2-D2. It’s trolling nonsense.

          • legal eagle

            I don’t call everyone Archie Bunker… only the haters…

          • http://johndalybooks.com/ John Daly

            … or anyone who doesn’t worship at the alter of Obama.

          • Integrity

            You need to purchase a seam ripper. QED

          • legal eagle

            I think you know where you can stick your OED?

          • Integrity

            I see that you are feeling your oats after suddenly becoming a war hawk! Have you bought the seam ripper yet? Nos ignorare periculum tuum!! QED *

          • legal eagle

            I’m only a war hawk when it involves no troops….That’s why we spend so much money on defense…

          • Integrity

            …..and a President who is a Democrat. Sadly, I don’t think much can be accomplished without risking the lives of some of our military members. While you do your war planning, remember two things. Don’t fall in love with the plan and the enemy always has a vote. QED

          • morefandave

            Hey, it’s easier than using logic; he’s just conserving energy.

      • 10579

        I thought that my thoughts were not regulated by the big brother dems. BROTHER I can dislike anyone i care to and you just moved to the top of the list with the terrorist muslims and their supporters.

        • legal eagle

          I see you only hate the bad Muslims not the good ones.. and who defines who the bad guys are Fox News?

          • 10579

            Let me tell you that i do Not like any muslims. Not now, nor in the near future. I do not tolorate the intolorable, like you who only see one side of a coin even ( a little secret ) when there are two sides. Are you from Maarthas vineyard? How did you get hate out of dislike? That is what all you liberals and democrats are about you always try to put words in peoples mouths. and yes i don’t like you, but i tolorate you cause of you being a liberal democrat you don’t know any better.

    • gold7406

      the the essence of virtue, al jazeera?
      take your self righteous pomposity and hit the mute button.

    • Stimpy

      You forgot to say “old white hater”.

      • legal eagle

        “old white haters”? You mean the Fox News and Limbaugh audience?

        • Donna E Turner

          There is no mafia either. And East Berlin was a happenin town.

        • Stimpy

          Thank you for being tiresome.

    • 10579

      and YOU give them a free pass for killing 3000 innocents and cutting the throat of Daniel Pearl and the young boy in iraq.YOU and those like you are the reason why America is on a slide.Well when they grab you by your hair and draw the knife across your throat don’t forget you are one of the people who will have made it possible.

      • legal eagle

        Who are the “them” you’re referring to?

        • 10579

          Hey L.E. you are a non entity if you don’t know who i am refering to when i say THEM. The 19 muslims who flew two planes into the twin towers and one into the pentagon and one into the ground in Pa. Or are you a truther. man there is a really bad smell coming from your post. Tell me do you think KSM is not the killer of Daniel Pearl, and the other towel head who was killed in a drone strike in Iraq after he slit the throat of that young boy were muslims.. That is who ‘them’ are. By the way you look like in your bio like a Kennedy, well it goes with the territory.

    • Vivian

      Dear Mr. Legal Eagle,
      As you have shown your hand many times…I believe your prejudice is against Mr. Goldberg’s exceptional journalistic intelligence…
      Thank you for your unpublic service or servicing your own public forum…

  • BonnieU2T2

    How about AL Gorejeez Against America? Qater Quit It? Islamic Jihadist Network (IJN) INYF-IN YOUR FACE AMERICA? MBC? Muslim Brotherhood Channel? Suggestions for shows: “Meet the Mullahs” “Dancing with the Camels” “Desparate Terrorists Wives” Death Dynasty?

    • 10579

      Excellent the names fit the network.

  • Stimpy

    The Ed Suleiman show.

  • Stimpy

    The Obama bin Biden network.

  • Merrie

    They can keep the name Al Jazeera. They just neede to add the tag line “Still better than what Al Gore was doing.”

  • http://johndalybooks.com/ John Daly

    How about the Al Jarreau network? You know, where they cover singer

    Al Jarreau 24 hours a day. I can’t imagine it would do any worse in the ratings. ;)

    • JDinSTL

      AllahuJazeera

  • Oliver

    72 Virgin Air

    • YomamaYo

      Great one!!

  • Oliver

    Osama Bin Watchin’

  • Mike

    All the news that’s fit to flush!

    • morefandave

      MSNBC already has that motto.

  • ladybabs07

    They need to drop “AMERICA” They are NOT AMERICAN! They should use a true acronym to describe their true intentions such as “APN” (ARAB PROPAGANDA NETWORK).
    I worked for an Army Public Affairs Unit in the Green Zone in Baghdad, Iraq from 2004 to 2005. We had Iraqi translators working for the US government translating AL-Jazeera “news” papers. It was all propaganda about high numbers of civilian casualties…lies! Lies! They used propaganda to incite anger and hatred towards our troops and in doing so, jeopardized our lives every day! Boycott the Bastards! P.S. Al Gore is a traitor for selling the network to people who want to kill Americans!

    • 10579

      your just saying that because it’s true. hey Obama how about stripping AL GORE of hi wealth insead of those who actually create jobs.

  • billinhp

    Al Jazzera isn’t pro-Al Queda exactly. It is pro-Qatar. Who are supposed to be our allies but in actuality do the bidding of the Emir and his friends. Right now that means pushing the neo-cons and Obama to enter the fray in Syria. Other times that means supporting the Muslim Brotherhood, which is why they are off the air in Egypt.

    • begbie

      They also broadcast full versions of terrorist videos, with audio. But of course that isn’t exactly pro-Al Queda.

    • 10579

      Stop confusing neo-cons and obuma they are two different sides of different coins.Oh they make no money in egypt. but they can always rely on liberals to pay with other peoples money.

  • Sakemoto

    Allah BS TV. Allah BS Allah the time.

    • begbie

      haha

  • bestgrandma2011

    Al Gore made a lot of money between selling the Current channel and the fraud Global Warming BUT he lost his high school sweetheart, Tipper. How sad!

  • Kenno

    Make sure NSA tracks each of the viewers in case they are planted sympathizers just waiting to explode themselves in a crowded area.

  • begbie

    Amuurica—-F’ Yeah! Network

  • Bob

    How about “The Network Formally Known as Al Jazeera.” Then they car report on all the largess shown by Saudi Arabia to non-Arab countries following natural disasters…..silence.

  • E Tomlinson

    Al-Gored America

  • guanta22

    I wonder if the author of this piece ever wrote an article making fun of the ratings of the Fox Business Network, which is owned by the same parent company of the network he works for, Fox News Channel, which has pathetic ratings and had ratings that were even worse than the initial ratings Al Jazeera America has. Fox Business had an average audience of 8,000 viewers in 2008, after being on the air for a year.

    • begbie

      Only because CNBC has not taken the same liberal slant as MSNBC. CNBC gets a lot of viewers.

    • nancynance

      The reason I didn’t get FBNwas because it was not included in my basic cable. NOW it is and I will be watching.

    • YomamaYo

      I “wonder” if the person posting above is defending the raghe@d network. I “wonder” if he/she/it is offended by the word, America, in their name after Al Jazeera? I “wonder” who of us give a rat’s @ss what he/she/it even thinks? Naw.

  • Sam Williamson

    Miley Cyrus Twerking Network. The tagline could be “you know you want to watch”.

    • begbie

      Twerka-Twerka…Islama Jihad!

      • YomamaYo

        How ’bout a “Birka Twerka” marathon?

  • KCGranny

    How about OFA TV! We all know Obama wants to kick America’s butt and reduce it to squalor!

  • DanS

    TNT, Terrorist Network Television.

  • Ed in Albany

    How about Anti-American Ruthless Propaganda?

    • 10579

      How about NAACP,Network Against America Creating Prosperity.

  • nickshaw

    Atlantis Cable News.
    It might get the many libs that watch “The Newsroom” on HBO, at least.

    They are easily fooled.

  • Sully64

    Americans are a very tolerant people. They will always give you a chance, even if you are, in their eyes, foreign or strange. In the case of Muslims, it’s their own intolerance which turns off the great majority of Americans. We are willing to forgive the group for in injustice of the few, or the radicals within the group. In the case of Muslims, it’s a different story. It’s not that Americans have become intolerant, it’s that Muslims tolerate, if not support, their own fringe lunatics. Their silence has become their worst enemy. Rarely, if ever, do Muslims speak out against the outrageous actions of their own. After every heinous Muslim
    act the resulting silence from the Muslim community is overwhelming. I would be willing to predict that eventually, in spite of our political correctness, we will wake up to the fact that these people want not to live with us but to do us harm. At that point, the genie will be out of the bottle for Muslims.

    • begbie

      So what’s the acronym for that name?

  • Bama

    The Gore Network. It will attract all those people who watch zombie and vampire shows 24/7

  • Sakemoto

    FUBAR TV

  • nickshaw

    MSNBC “el Ocho!”

    • begbie

      Ahhh yes. “Dodgeball” reference! Well played senor.

  • Alexander Shaskevich

    Super High Intensity Topic Network – S.H.I.T.N

  • Steven Shaw

    The We Paid For Al Gore’s New Private Jet Network

  • Sakemoto

    Al-Jism. Pay per view porn 24/7

    • begbie

      Burkas in your face all day long.

  • TraderJo

    Al’s Jeers TV? Or AlGorezeera?

  • begbie

    If they get Ron Burgundy I’ll watch it.

  • delble

    The “I Want to Kill You if You Don’t Convert to Islam” network. Or, IWKYIYDCI. Ok, it’s long, but what’s wrong with being honest??

  • Dallas

    Obama News Network

  • Greggsan

    Low Rants of Arabia

    • JanelleHumbert

      Clever!

  • BROOKLYNTOM

    The ARABIAN WORLD NETWORK

    • Wally C

      Your Arabian World Network or YAWN for short.

  • Greggsan

    Al Wash Tup

  • Mike Caddell

    AlBama (or Alobama) Hope and Change Network.
    mike caddell

    calibersports@gmail.com

    • nickshaw

      You expecting a prize there, Mikey? ;-)

    • begbie

      sending you an email now….make sure to click the link and verify your account #, password and SS#….thanks

  • FriscoWalt

    A Pig by any other name is still a a Pig.

  • hihoze

    Ali Allah America?

  • Michael

    MSNBC alreadty has their audience.

  • Pedro Corleone

    “Alternative America Broadcasting” AABC (as in Double A-B-C). I charge big bucks for this stuff…

  • Joseph Shbotnick

    “Not the Anti-Semitic News Network”

    Imagine the promo: This is NANN

  • BTRIPP

    I find Al Jazeera America refreshing … they’re certainly less anti-America than, say, CNBC, and they tend to cover stories “conveniently ignored” by the MSM. Of course, things have gotten so down-the-rabbit-hole loony Left in the news biz here that I find myself checking out Pravda online to get “middle of the road” news spin!

    • 10579

      the msm don’t cover any stories.

  • Joseph Shbotnick

    “Not Al Jezeera America”

  • JanelleHumbert

    Love the names…..thank you all!

  • Guest

    “Not Al Jezeera America”

    Al Jazeera America
    Al Jazeera America

  • kayakbob

    Just realized. Bernie, you buried the lead – “MSNBC Down 23,000 Viewers”

    • Mr. Common Sense

      That’s Funny!!!

    • JLC

      LOL

    • begbie

      CNN board meeting minutes: “Holy crap! Al Jazeera has some impressive numbers! We gotta step it up, boys!”

  • Tuffy Butler

    “Home of State run or otherwise known as mainstream media outlet wayward rejects”. Example: So-So Bad Obrien

  • Mr. Common Sense

    How about Al Gorzeera? Or NTNN (Non Terrorist News Network)?

    • begbie

      I like Al Gorzeera….best one yet!

      • Mr. Common Sense

        It was the first thing that popped into my head!

    • http://www.LuckyLuxtonAffiliateMarketing.com/ Keith “Lucky” Luxton

      NTNN would be good. Standing for “Next Terrorist News Network”

      • Mr. Common Sense

        That works too!

  • I’m Just Say’in

    FAATT: Find And Annihilate The Truth

  • Iowa48

    PAN -Propaganda Ad Nauseum

  • Neal Hixon

    How about Al JaFranken. That would add at least a small amount of humor to it.

    • Joseph Shbotnick

      Not bad, but they would not want to associate with a Jew. Even a Progressive schmuck like Al.

      • Neal Hixon

        Dont count on it. Who knows who is actually aligned with who anymore.

  • PeterFitzwell

    BNN (BULL$H^T NEWS NETWORK)

  • Eugene R. Dunn

    JIHADI SPIN MACHINE!

    • Joseph Shbotnick

      JSM

      That would be good.

  • LibertysSon

    TNN is good But how about “Taqiyya News Network ….all the news a Dhimmi deserves”

  • Kayakbob

    NFN….Not Fox News.
    WNT….We’re Not Terrorist
    WNT-S….. We’re Not Terrorist..Sorta
    NRLFU……No Red Line For Us

    • JanelleHumbert

      WNT is priceless!

  • begbie

    FOX NEWS

    • KCGranny

      You mean anti-FoxNews!

      • begbie

        Not if they want the advertisers and ratings!

  • diablo

    Always Al Sharia —– A S S

    • Alexander Shaskevich

      That is a good one.

    • FRANK CARMEN, L.r.c.

      Excellent!

  • Julie Atkinson

    WDLA _ We Don’t Love America

    • FRANK CARMEN, L.r.c.

      You don’t Love America!? Then Go Fucking HOME and have sex with all those Towel Head virgins! Maybe, then, they’ll discover something better to do with their time — Like learning how to spell “Truth” after learning Its definition!

      • Julie Atkinson

        I really don’t understand why this website chose to block my first response to your reply. I suppose it’s because I called you a r***rd. Please, let’s all be politicaly correct here. You can use the f bomb in your reply but I cannot draw attention to your obvious lack of intelligence. My reply was to the request to come up with a funny, alternate name for a pro-AlQueda, American hating news network. That’s what I did. Duh.

  • Eric Scottsdale

    DTINN – Death To Infidels News Network

  • goodbyecountry

    OCON
    stands for Overseas Contingency Operation Network
    or
    ObamaCON

  • ncdoula

    Why’d you give them the head’s up… now their going to call themselves Al JaHitler

  • dj in nj

    NRA (Not Really Al Jazeera). Added bonus, some will think is’s the gun guys and viewership might jump.

  • Bill

    Actually, the Hitler comedian name thing was an arc many years ago on “Hill Street Blues”….

  • JDinSTL

    Terrorist News Network – TNN

    • goodbyecountry

      I like this one a lot.

    • 10579

      How about the big bang theory or MOAB ,The MOTHER OF ALL BOMBS. turn on A.J. and it goes Boom.

    • Kevin Hubble

      That’s really good! On the commercial, you could get a guy who sounded like James Earl Jones with a lisp (sorry, about not being politically correct there) and he could announce: “This is TNN” Some people might confuse it with the more-recognizable announcement “This is CNN” and would turn over to watch. When they started to watch, they wouldn’t be able to tell the difference and would just keep watching!