Here’s the best one I’ve heard in a long time. Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, wants to be shot into space. He wants to be the country’s first astronut … oops … astsronaut.
“I am ready to be the first human to be sent to space by Iranian scientists,” he said, according to a report by Reuters.
About a week ago, Iran sent a monkey into space. In 2010, it sent a mouse, a turtle and worms into space. There’s a cheap joke here somewhere but taking a stab at it is beneath me.
If this isn’t simply more crazy talk from Iran’s crazy president he not only would be his country’s first human in space, he would also be it’s first chucklehead in space.
When Ahmadinejad visited New York a while back the streets were gridlocked what with all the security measures the authorities were taking. But he managed to make all his appointments without being late to even one. How did he do it? They let him drive in the Holocaust Denier Lane.
I promised I wouldn’t make any cheap jokes at Mahmoud’s expense and I didn’t. That was Jon Stewart’s cheap joke. I just report the news.
And if he does go up in a rocket he’ll need a special interpreter to share his thoughts with the world – someone who can lie in two languages.
Hey, blame that one on Jay Leno.
Finally – and this is both important and really, really serious — my friend and reliable source (who I will call Burt) tells me Ahmadinejad’s announcement was greeted with great rejoicing by cheering millions in the streets of Iran — until word went out that he intended to return.
Insert rim shot here — and then re-read the headline above.