SF Ding Dongs Go to War — Over Happy Meals

I guess I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure that San Francisco is the only city in America with both Rice-a-Roni and a foreign policy.

While many cities are concerned about mundane matters like potholes and  going broke, San Francisco is worried about much bigger things.  Like burgers and fries.

But first, a trip down memory lane.

During the war in Iraq, the people who live in San Francisco got a chance to vote on a resolution that asked:  “Shall it be City policy to urge the United States government to withdraw all troops from Iraq and bring all military personnel in Iraq back to the United States?”

The Let’s-get-out-of-Iraq-Now side won in a landslide – 63 to 37 percent.  And while the vote had absolutely no effect on anything, it did give the anti-war folks the opportunity to tell Bush and Cheney and Haliburton just how they felt.  So there!

In another feel-good election, San Franciscans voted 60 percent to 40 percent to ban military recruiters from their public schools.  The vote was non-binding, but it did tell us something about how the majority feels about the army, navy, air force and marines, doesn’t it?

And once, in a vote that did count, the school board decided to throw Junior ROTC out of the city’s high schools, despite the fact that the programs were optional and immensely popular with the kids who chose to join.  One school board member said it was better to focus on a “curriculum of peace” than allow JROTC to remain as an after school activity.

Another time, the city supervisors voted to keep the USS Iowa out of San Francisco Bay where it was going to be docked as a museum – a protest, they said, against the war in Iraq and against “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”

One San Francisco journalist wasn’t buying any of it.  “These issues are simply being used as excuses to cover up anti-military and anti-American sympathies across the board,” she wrote.  Bingo!

If they ever get attacked out there in San Francisco, may I respectfully suggest the city supervisors call the French for help.

Now, the sophisticates in the city I like to call “Halloween-by-the-Sea” are at it again.  And this time they’ve got hamburgers and fries in their crosshairs.

Turns out San Francisco is threatening to ban toys in Happy Meals unless McDonald’s serves up the meals the way the city government wants: with less sugar, sodium and fat, and with little cups of fruits and veggies.  A city panel voted for the “Healthy Meal Incentive” legislation just last week and the full city board of supervisors is scheduled to take up the issue later this month, when it’s expected to pass – and probably with enough votes to override a veto by the mayor who thinks this is going too far even for San Francisco.

Taking on the military wasn’t enough for those tolerant liberal souls in San Francisco.  Now they feel the need to take on Ronald McDonald!

But let’s be fair:  childhood obesity is a serious problem.  And yes, eating fruits and vegetables is better than eating stuff that will turn them into little fat slobs.  And yes, for a lot of kids the prospect of getting a colorful, dopey, plastic toy can be enticing.  But this raises a few questions.

If government can ban toys from Happy Meals what else can it do for our own good?  Can politicians pass laws that actually require us to eat fruits and vegetables every day?  Can they tax Ding Dongs to the point where nobody but Bill Gates can afford to buy them?  How about Twinkies?  Can they force us to wear helmets when driving our cars?

Before you say, “That’s crazy, of course they can’t do any of that” – ask yourself this:  Why not?

Why can’t a government that is convinced it knows what’s best for all of us do all of those things.  The answer is it can – if we’re dumb enough to allow it.  As an editorial in the (far-from-San Francsco) Augusta (Georgia) Chronicle put it:  “There’s a difference between regulating and micromanaging. A government does the former under capitalism, the latter under communism.”

Look, I’m not calling the do-gooders who run San Francisco a bunch of communists.  That would be unkind.  To the communists.  But aren’t these the same people who worship at the alter of “choice” – at least when it comes to abortion.  Shouldn’t parents have a choice if they want to let their kids eat hamburgers and fries without some green veggie and a piece of fruit?

In San Francisco, you can get government-sanctioned “medical” marijuana all over the place.  You can walk around higher than a kite and the cops will tell you to have a nice day.  And they’re worried about french fries?

If you want to know what America would look like if the “progressives” ever took over – and I mean, really took over, with almost no serious opposition – take a trip out to to San Fransisco.  Just make sure the food police don’t catch you with a Ding Dong in your pocket.

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  • TOMMY FREEDOM

    BERNIE, SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE IMMEDIATELY. THE LATEST REPORT
    HAPPY MEALS TOYS, SPONGE BOB, ELMO, AND BIG BIRD HAVE BEEN
    TAKEN HOSTAGE AND ARE IN CITY HALL. THIS IS AN EMERGENCY ! ! ! WE
    MUST NEGOIATE FOR THEIR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, HELP!

  • Guest2

    As always, great article Bernie!
    I lived in the land of fruits and nuts for 18 years.
    I went there a liberal and got chisled into a conservative by the eroding stupidity.

  • JDO

    Such a wacky mentality for such a beautiful area.

  • http://dailyhowler.com/ Wil Burns

    One solution Bernie, would be all the people like you who support the war as well as your sons or and daughters volunteer to go to Iraq & Afghanistan to make things right with the Iraqi & Afghani people. Now you have your big opportunity .. When do you leave?

    We who have always opposed the wars and considered it as a tragic example of Bush’s stupidity, will be glad to hold your coat!

  • joe democrat

    hey bernie, maybe try to stop bashing on obvious Fox-news-created-villians all the time to earn your Fox news paycheck (and bringing up the French again, nice move – ever been there? i have cousins there that come here all the time).
    has any of you commenters ever LIVED in san fran? they are americans and can decide (by voting) what laws they want in THEIR city – do you right wing nuts really think theyre destroying america? yeah, san fran is “sooooo twisted”! idiots. youre all idiots for drinking the fox news kool-ade…

    • Henry

      “they are americans and can decide (by voting) what laws they want in THEIR city”

      True…but if they’re under the influence (especially LSD), I’d be wary of them if I were you!

  • Juan

    Sharia Law should be imposed on San Francisco. They deserve it.

  • Henry

    San Francisco…the same city where former mayor Willie Brown once proposed portable credit card machines for the homeless. That way if a homeless person asked you for money and you didn’t have any cash on you, at least you could swipe your credit card through their machine instead. And this is also the same city government that once proposed naming a sewer after W, right? And now, they want to tell people what to eat? Talk about a city goverment that’s way out there, “tolerant”, and intrusive to say the least!

  • http://www.lillian-davis.blogspot.com Lily

    We already have intrusive laws in most states, what do you think helmet laws and seat belt laws are? Yes I agree we should all wear them when on motorcycles and in moving vehicles, but to mandate them…it is intrusive. Sure my taxes go to the head injured idigit who wanted the wind blowing through their hair as they drove too fast on the freeway just before that car pulled into their lane sending them sprawling and their head bouncing like a deflated basketball. But should they be made to wear helmets? OK I happen to agree with these two laws. But the simple fact of the matter is it is only a matter of time before intrusive laws become the norm unless we stand up and say enough is enough. Even in San Crazysisco

    • Ron

      Lily, my solution to the seat belt and helmet requirements would be an “implied refusal law.” If police arrive and find you injured while not wearing the recommended devices, you “imply” your refusal of paramedics, ambulance, hospital admission, etc.

  • SHERRY NYE

    Not everyone who lives in California is a San Francisco Wacko. There are a good many of us who are strong conservative freedom loving people who feel the same way about San Francisco as so many of you out there.

  • CalSux

    SF like GE have natural resources and holdings so spread out over so many industries that you literally cannot put them out of Business. As much as I HATE SF politics one drive over the GGB makes politics seem very distant.

  • Hambone763

    Why not vote to secede from the US along with the rest of the state? Then they can have their own foreign policy and what ever else they decide to govern.

    Let the rest of the nation take the outcome of the vote serious. We know what the outcome would be, so make darn sure they take Nancy with them when they do secede.

    • CCNV

      Probably a better chance of the San Andreas fault breaking CA off from the rest of the US… Either way, Smugly Ugly Pelosi would be gone. Also, would be nice to sit here with a nice view of the ocean!

    • CCNV

      Great idea; however, there’s probably a better chance of the San Andreas Fault breaking CA off from the rest of the US. Either way, Smugly Ugly Pelosi would be gone. It ‘would’ be nice to sit here on the deck with a nice view of the ocean!

    • CCNV

      Great thought; however, there’s probably a better chance of the San Andreas fault breaking CA off from the rest of the US. Either way, Smugly Ugly Pelosi would be gone. It ‘would’ be nice to sit here on the deck with a nice view of the ocean!

  • Burt

    San Francisco sounds like the Ding Dong capitol of the U.S. if not the world.

  • Buz

    There are ding dongs in San Francisco??

  • Buz

    I’m shocked to read that you would think that anything that is proposed in San Francisco is peculiar.

  • joe from louisiana

    My wife and I used to vacation in that beautiful city but the kooks have officially taken over. These aren’t liberals, they are hypocritical tyrants. If they want to warp separation of church and state into government devoid of individuals with religious beliefs, then why don’t they legislate a government devoid of all passionate beliefs. Some of these nuts don’t realize their zeal for telling people how to live is no different than what they believe the religious right is doing. No wait it is different, the religious right doesn’t have the backing of the media.

  • Buz

    San Francisco—Ubiquitous abberant sex OK. Omnipresent pot smoking OK. Marriage of any people to any people OK and, more than likely to animals or inanimate objects OK as well. ALL OK JUST AS LONG AS FATS ARE NOT EATEN AND FRUITS AND VEGGIES ARE—with preferably no or, at most, very little sugar or salt! That place is permanently out to lunch and if you doubt that just listen to its wonder woman heroine, Nancy Pelosi. You gotta be nuts to do anything other than laugh at that twisted place.

  • Berg

    Won’t it hurt the city? Won’t people be moving out? Seems to me that that’s the direction the city’s going to

  • jeff

    boycott sanfrancisco

  • David in Texas

    “Halloween-by-the-sea”…..Bernie, that’s great!

  • Tim Ned

    And my retired father in-law should be condemned because he’s political incorrect since he smokes a pipe and has seen his tobacco cost sky rocket because of taxes, all while on a fixed retired income. Forget the fact he served four hard years during WWII. Forget the fact he is personally accredited to shooting down a Kamikaze plane. Forget the 60 percent burns on his body from the one they missed.

    Yes, liberals tax this 89 year old when he smokes his pipe and god forbid he should ever buy those McDonalds french fries he likes so much!

  • http://www.bigbureaucracy.com/ Ellie Velinska

    We should ask the UN Space Alien Ambassador to go talk to SF people and help them land.

    • Tim Ned

      Excellent!

    • Ron Kean

      ha ha ha

    • Henry

      LOL!

  • Bruce A.

    Anyone who says that illegal drugs can do no damage should read this column.
    Of course this assumes that their brain still functions.

  • EddieD_Boston

    Do you need any more proof that liberalism is a mental defect? How about this all ye progressives…ban welfare so America doesn’t have these baby machines pumping out children whom they feed happy meals to 7 days a week. I betcha if you took the time to find out, childhood obesity is a cottage industry in housing projects and trailer parks. These NEA educated brain surgeons have IQs in double digits and are responsible for a hugely disproportionate amount of crime, drug abuse and laziness. Happy meals are the easy way out of parenting. How ’bout we ban stupid liberals.

  • Nancy

    And yet….the aging microbusers want to make marijuana legal…hey thats good for kids, right?

  • Jay Thompson

    Bernie, you are spot on. The nanny state is simply another word for a subversive latent communism. While San Franciscans may not be communists, they smugly embrace its essence with ridiculous policies like this. It remains to be seen if the city’s mayor will have the cojones (after all, it is a sanctuary city) to put an end to it – I, for one, am not holding my breath.

  • Bob Ziegler

    Dear Bernie, How true. What most don’t seem to understand is that the radicals of the 60’s, now the liberal progressives of today were warring against “The Man” back then ONLY because THEY weren’t “The Man”. Now, it’s okay to be “The Man” and in their mind that’s the way it should be.

  • Ron Kean

    Michael Savage and Tony Bennett’s song are my favorite things about San Francisco. Oh…and Clint Eastwood movies. Oh…and Nancy Pelosi.

    Just kidding about Nancy Pelosi. But she won her office fair. She’s proud of her grandchildren and should be just like most all of us.

    I’d like to be there if she should ever ask them how much they’d like to go to MacDonalds for carrots, celery, green peppers, and raw fresh mushrooms.

    If they really wanted to help California they’d give more water to the farmers and serve snail darter fish sandwiches at MacDonalds. While they last.

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